We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I tried to keep a straight face

A lady picks up Amoxil Suspension for her son’s ear infection. She came back complaining that his ear infection was worse even though she had poured exactly 1 teaspoonful 3 times a day into his ear. This was an Alaska Native woman who, as it turned out, couldn't read English very well. This was the same woman who asked us if her husband could take her birth control pills, because they were making her sick to her stomach.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I feel like a slacker.

I just finished a week's vacation where I didn't do ANYTHING useful, really. I don't feel too bad about it - it's my first real vacation in at least a year. I went to Boston on someone else's dime, and got to be That Patient - I called my doctor's office after a couple of nights there, requesting just 3 or 4 Ambien for my trip. The doctor was out for the day, no big deal.

I show up at the requested pharmacy the next day expecting a prescription. Nothing.

It shows up 2 days after my request, so now I feel like a dick for hounding these guys. And I look like a shady fellow on top of everything - some weird out of town dude getting 30 Ambien.

It turns out it was so late in my vacation, that by the time I got it, I only had two nights left - one of which was spent eating and drinking so much that I didn't need it, and the second involved me not taking one because I was already slated for less than 5 hours of sleep due to an early morning flight home.

Now I've got a bottleful of Ambien, my vacation is over, and I'm terribly sad. It's back to the grind tomorrow! :/

--Fries With That

Tastycare: Health Care For The New Millennium Part 2

*Any person that writes a book, blog, or advertisement that tells people to skip chemotherapy and/or radiation treatment for cancer and use a homeopathic or herbal "cure" instead shall immediately be put to death.

What this does is purges society of soulless scheisters who would use fear and false hope to drain the funds of patients in the midst of an emotional meltdown over a serious but in most cases treatable disease. Yes, chemotherapy and radiation make you feel like sh*t but they are proven treatments for a disease that can make the human body its metastatic playground. This also helps a forced "natural selection" where we are weeding out some of the evil, greed, and sh*twores in the human population. This also decreases the number of people that will need medical coverage because this would reduce the scheister population by the thousands.

*No patient should be denied health care for any reason except that they are not paying their monthly premium. You don't pay the fee, you don't get the service.

*Premiums should be determined by disease state. Expensive diseases like HIV/AIDS, diabetes, coronary artery disease, etc. would mandate a higher premium than someone who just has chronic allergies. The logic in this is that diseases which are expensive to treat will have to bring in higher copays in order to cover the services and medications so the system does not go bankrupt like our current medicare and medicaid systems are. In the case of congenital disease it may not seem fair but life in general is not fair so suck it up and be happy you have health care.

*Any practitioner whose practice uses fraudulent billing to any insurance will incur a $50,000 fine and lose their medical and business licenses PERMANENTLY. Now there would have to be an investigation because sometimes practitioners don't actually oversee the specifics of the billing and a vengeful or greedy employee could try to frame them. That would be for a judge and jury to decide.

What this does is discourages fraud which is an extensive amount of overspending on health care. Several home health businesses in Miami are under investigation for fraudulent home diabetes service billing. They had the highest billing rates that were way out of proportion for the number of actual diabetics who would qualify for home care in the Miami area. Shameful...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Why is this a problem?

A prescription from 2006, from another pharmacy in another state, from a prescriber no longer seen...and she wonders why I can't fax her current doctor over the prescription for a refill....and by the way they've never ever seen her for this particular problem. Hmmm. Where to start?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

What Sears My Patty

You know what really sears my patty? When I get "Rick rolled" by the insurance company hold muzak while waiting to find out why the emergency room prescriptions for a patient's kidney stones that were supposed to be approved by them an hour ago still will not adjudicate.

WTF? I finally get an agent, he asks me the patient name then says "I will resubmit them." and hangs up on me. Meanwhile the patient is standing next to me on his cell suffering through the same "Rick roll" and in major pain when an agent (probably the same rude douche that hung up on me) tells him it will take 30 minutes before the pharmacy will be able to reprocess the claims.

He chose to wait for the insurance coverage rather than pay cash and get reimbursed. So I get the patient's cell number and ask him how late is too late to call because I am going to reprocess the sh*t out of these claims until they work. I tried every 20 minutes for 3 hours then tried calling the insurance people again. Son of a b*tch!! They went home for the night and didn't fix this poor guy-that-is-in-so-much-pain-he-can-barely-stand-up's claim.

So I turn it over to our secondary insurance people with a note to call insurance as soon as they open so this guy doesn't end up back in the ER. At 7:45am one of the rxs adjudicates. Hallef*ckinglujah!

I celebrated a little too soon. The other rx rejects for 5 day supply covered. I resubmit for 5 day supply and I get "prescriber not covered." So I have our secondary insurance people call them again so I can get this guy 5 days of meds. The guy shows up and gets the one that was finally covered and was on his way to work. He decided to have the store near work fill the other rx when insurance approved it on his lunch break so he could pick it up over there.

He is calling to let his insurance provider know how sh*tty their service is. For a human being to endure so much for a service he pays for monthly, well that really sears my patty!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Taste The Rainbow

Last week some kids were sent home from middle school because they were "sick." They had in fact each eaten a box of "Skittles" and chugged a bottle of Delsym as a chaser.

"Skittles" (aka DXM, CCC, Triple C, Robo, Poor Man's PCP) is a stupid new trend in children wanting to get f*cked up. It is basically high doses of dextromethorphan (cough suppressant) taken to get a feeling of euphoria along with visual and auditory hallucinations. Now you know why we can't sell it to kids under 18 because they have a terminal case of the stupids and will try ANYTHING they see on the interweb to get high.

PATHETIC! You know what you get along with the sensation you wanted? You get headache, nausea, dizziness, drowsiness, stomach cramping, diarrhea, and in extreme toxicity you can end up in a coma or get a nice bit of brain trauma, kidney, or liver damage.

I feel that somehow these kids parents are failures. I feel that these kids will always be failures. I know this because these kids stole four boxes of Coricidin and four bottles of Delsym from a retail pharmacy outlet near their school. The path to being a "crack head" starts younger and younger.

What happened to the good old days when drug experimentation started with alcohol and marijuana in high school? What happened to the days when you experimented with things like LSD and ecstasy in college? What happened to the days where you entered adulthood and the real world with minimal chemical vices, working in a real job to support yourself and your family, and cutting loose every once in a while to relive the "good old days?"

The point I am making is that I love the original Skittles from M & M Mars. The only high I get from them is the high blood sugar that fuels my sprints between the drive thru and the fill counter. How dare some little douche bag kids besmirch the name of my beloved Skittles with something so stupid!


The Darwin/Murphy Effect

The following funny sort of parrallels what happened at my store last week: a young woman walks in with a written Rx for Demerol 100mg/ml-3xday.

Hmmmmmm. OK.

I asked her if this is going to be cash or insurance (with my tech dialing the Dr's office). Out of the blue, the "prescribing physician" walks up to the counter with some sundry items, completely unaware of the scene unfolding in front of him in line. He overhears his name and waves to the tech on the phone, which draws the attention of the customer, who turns around and sees the Doctor who's pad she had stolen, and promptly emptied her bladder all over herself, as well as my clean floor.

Of course it was good for a laugh a while later.

A young man walks into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," the customer replies, "I've been seeing this girl for a while, and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's 'the night'. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves, excited.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer and continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Plan B contest entry

Funny stuff!

So I had an interesting story tonight while I was working. An 18-year-old girl came into the pharmacy looking for Plan B. IL Medicaid does pay for Plan B, and she, of course, had Medicaid. She didn't have her current Medicaid card with her, and our policy states that pharmacists need to see the Medicaid and ID before we can bill Medicaid for Plan B. Her sister called my assistant manager on duty and asked him why the pharmacist wouldn't dispense the Plan B, since she had the Medicaid number on her profile. After talking with the manager, I had to give her the Plan B. However, she had just received Plan B last week. When asked why she needed another Plan B so quickly, she said that she was allergic to condoms (she didn't tell me, the female pharmacist, but the male assistant manager). She really didn't want to hear about the different types of condoms that our store sells. She wasn't on birth control either. I told her that it would be best for her to be on birth control at this time, and she told me that she was working with Family Planning (our town's version of Planned Parenthood), but she was rolling her eyes when she said that. That made me believe that she wasn't really serious about getting on birth control. I did try to tell her that if she used Plan B too many times in a short amount of time, it can lead to unwanted consequences, and maybe infertility. She really didn't want to hear it, at least not from me, because she thought I was judging her (ok, in a way I was). Of course, I was short-handed (one tech called in sick), and we were getting lots of ER scripts at the time. Did I mention that we have inventory on Monday, so that's why the manager really couldn't come and help us? Long story short, she got her Plan B, and I have a complaint against me.

I don't think this story will stand up to some of the other entries you will receive, but it's still a funny story nonetheless. If you can give me some insight on how this could be handled better, please let me know. Thanks!

Evil Chain RPh

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Awesome Contest Entry

This story was emailed to me today. It is fab!! Please send in your stories. We are waiting!!

Hey fellow druggies,

I've got a couple good stories just in the short time I've been a pharmacist, but this is my favorite. It's a long read because this woman (and her husband) are just f'ing crazy insane. Apologize in advance for the wall of text:

At our pharmacy, we have a married couple, let’s call them Jack and Jill, as our patients. Jill had been coming to our pharmacy for several years, at least since I interned there (I graduated last year, and became manager a few months after getting my license). We knew that she had been asked not to return to another pharmacy in our chain, as well as the RiteAid across the parking lot from our pharmacy. We never really heard from Jack apart from a prescription here and there for him, but Jill was always in the store, either shopping or picking up her prescriptions. Aside from several instances of cutting in line (are we in Kindergarten again?) and failure to pick up medications within our 2-week window, we really didn’t have a problem with this couple. Until several months ago.
Like I said, Jill had a problem picking up medications on time. Our store had an automated messaging service that would call patients at 7 and 10 days after being filled letting them know that their medications were waiting and would be put back to stock if they weren’t picked up on a certain date. After quite a few times of putting Jill’s prescriptions away only to have her come in the next day demanding that we get her prescriptions ready right away because she called them in two weeks ago, one of my technicians personally called Jill right before she put her medication back to stock to see if she still wanted the medication. I don’t know how the conversation proceeded, but it ended up with Jill yelling and cursing at the technician. This was on a Saturday.
On Monday when I came into work, Jill called and asked to speak to the manager. I answered the phone politely and asked how I could help her. She immediately launched into a tirade about how long we wait before we put prescriptions back. I explained to her our procedure, and then she started going crazy.
“Well, Alice called me this weekend and THREATENED ME!” Jill screeched.
“Jill, Alice didn’t work this weekend. Are you sure that’s who you spoke to?” I said.
“Jill, I don’t believe anyone would threaten you about putting your medication back into stock,” I calmly replied.
This is where it gets bizarre. I begin to hear a man screaming in the background, “JILL! GIVE ME THE DAMN PHONE! GET OFF THE DAMN PHONE! GIVE ME THE PHONE!” I heard a scuffling sound, which I believe was Jack and Jill fighting over the phone.
“I’m sorry about that sir. My name is Jack, Jill’s husband. Can you please tell me how long it is you wait until you put your medications back into stock?” this new voice said to me.
“Fourteen days. We have already explained this to Jill. Multiple times.”
“Ok, I understand that. But I don’t like that your technician threatened my wife.”
“Sir, I really do not believe that my technician threatened your wife. She would have no reason to do so.”
At this point I began to hear Jill screaming in the background, “JACK! GIVE ME THE PHONE! YOU STOLE THE PHONE FROM MEGIVEMETHEPHONENOWGIVEMETHEPHONE!!”
Another scuffle occurred in the background.
“Listen, I want to tell you something,” Jill yelled into the receiver.
“No, Jill, I know we’ve had this conversation before. You have 14 days to pick up your prescription.”
“What?” I replied knowing I wouldn’t like the answer.
“Jill, this conversation is over unless you can speak to me in a rational tone.”
“Good-bye, Jill,” I said as I hung up. I proceeded to tell everyone in the pharmacy that if she called back to immediately give the phone to me.
Not five minutes passed when the phone rang. I answered it, “Thanks for calling, how can I help you?”
“Listen, I’m sorry for the way my wife spoke to you, but I just want to make everything clear,” Jack said in a calm voice.
In the background I could hear Jill screaming, “GET OFF THE PHONE! GIVE ME THE PHONE! HE HUNG UP ON ME! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”
Ignoring the screaming in the background, I said, “Jack, this conversation is done. We’ve told you both before. You have 14 days to pick up the prescriptions. This seems to be a problem with you guys every month.”
“Jack, if you step foot into the pharmacy, I will call the police.” And I hung up.
The phone rang immediately. “Thanks for calling, how can I help you?” I answered as calmly as I could. My blood pressure was through the roof and I could feel my hands shaking.
“I’m done with this, stop calling. I’m putting a call into my district manager, do NOT call this store again until you hear from either myself or someone higher than me.” *click*
Now, I’m pretty sure based on Jill’s prescription history that she has severe bipolar disease. I’m almost positive based on Jack’s behavior that he also has severe bipolar disease. For a few weeks, we heard nothing from either of them, and I prayed that it was the last time there would be an ordeal like this one. I was wrong. Very wrong.
One of my pharmacists was on vacation. I worked the day shift, and a floater came in to cover the evening. Just as I was getting ready to walk out the door, someone called the pharmacy. One of the technicians answered.
“Thanks for calling? How can I help you?” …. “Well, right now, the only pharmacist we have here is Anna.” …. “No, Sharon’s not working.” …. “No, he’s not working either.” …. “Ok, I’ll put you on with Anna, hold on.”
Hearing the exchange, I hung back in the pharmacy to see what was going on. The technician had this horrified expression on her face, “That’s Jill, and she wants to talk to a pharmacist.”
Anna, being a brave soul, took the call. “Can I help you?” …. “No, I’m the only pharmacist here.” …. “Ma’am, I AM a pharmacist, I can help you with what you need.” …. “Can you please hold a second?”
“She absolutely refuses to talk to me and says she doesn’t want to give some stranger her information,” said Anna.
“Fine, I’ll take it.” I took a deep breath and picked up the phone, “Jill, this is Tom, what’s going-“
I hung up the phone. “Listen,” I said to everyone in the pharmacy, “if she calls back, tell her to stop calling tonight and I will deal with her in the morning.” Everyone agreed, and I went home and tried to forget about it.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the best move I had ever made. When I came in the next day, the technician who worked the evening gave me the story of all that had occurred last night. Apparently, Jill called multiple times, refusing to tell anybody anything, and told one of the technicians to, “SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTH YOU FAT MOTHER FUCKER!” Eventually Jill figured out that she wasn’t accomplishing anything and stopped calling.
Later that day, Jill called, and whoever answered it immediately passed the phone to me.
“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but your techs told me last night I had to speak to you.”
“Yes, Jill, that’s what I told them to tell you.” I said.
“I don’t understand why!” she proclaimed innocently.
“Well, Jill, you were extremely rude to my techs, and they absolutely do not deserve to be treated like that.”
“I’m not treating you like anything, but at this point, I’m going to contact MY manager to let him know that we are no longer going to be doing business with you. Good bye.”
I did contact my district manager who forwarded it to the loss prevention guy. The LP guy said only that he didn’t see any threat caused by this woman, but of course, he was wrong.
A couple of days later, I came into work in the morning. Nothing unusual appeared to have happened during the previous evening, until my intern came in.
“Tom, Jill was here last night for 4 hours. Most of the time she sat in the waiting area. At one point she cut in front of everyone in line, and when another customer explained the line to her, Jill screamed, ‘I HOPE YOU GET DIABETES!’ It was awful!”
About a week later, Jill came in to pick up some medications that we had waiting for her. Her bag was put in the wrong drawer, and after some searching the tech found it and rung her up.
“Why did you have trouble finding my bag? Did you give me the wrong medication?” she asked, becoming frantic.
“No, Jill. It was simply put in the wrong drawer. Everything’s OK,” I replied.
“OK, because once you gave me the wrong insulin,” (which we didn’t, I honestly have no idea where this came from), “and I’m a diabetic and it almost killed me.”
“OK, Jill. Goodbye.” Unfortunately, Jill didn’t get my hint that I wanted her to leave the pharmacy. I mean, goodbye is so awfully vague. Not.
Jill then proceeded to the line of customers waiting to pick up their own prescriptions. She had a conversations with each. and. every. single. one. of. them about how we almost killed her. Luckily, not a single one took her for a sane person and dismissed her.
She eventually left the store, and to this date, I haven’t seen nor heard from her again. I heard a rumor that she went to another store in our chain, but I haven’t been able to confirm this.
However, as we all know in the pharmacy, as soon as you think about someone or say their name (Hmm, I haven’t seen so-and-so lately, I wonder where they are?), they come around the corner to screw your day.
Damnit, I’m not looking forward to tomorrow.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

It's Contest Time!!!!!

Filet is going to send a $25 Amazon gift card to the person who has the best RPH vs patient fight story!

Now I don't want ANY made up horse sh*t. I want the REAL deal, ie pork chop not Spam.... So don't you think even for a minute that we won't scrutinize and may even perhaps fact check your little story.

Since EVERY problem from the patient perspective is a direct result of the pharmacist being the root of all evil we think it will lend to some entertaining stories.

Don't forget the tiny details because one thing we L-O-V-E around here is a full on train wreck! So send one or send 'em all for the best of the pharmacy Springeresque and you may just get a $25 treat!

Let the games begin!

*Offer not valid if you don't have a computer cuz after all where the hell are you reading this blog, a library? Not hardly cuz the only people in the library either work there or sleep there when the cops kick them off the streets and out of the parks.

*We at FFP are not responsible for any hurt feelings but we do require that all names be withheld to prevent undue mental harm to actual patients or pharmacists.

*We at FFP will consider all entries unless we think you smoked way too much pot then made something up cuz that is just plain irresponsible. Why would you waste good pot on a blog when the new season of South Park started this week?

*No entries will be accepted after April 30th. Oh who am I kidding, we will still read them but you won't qualify for the gift card, just honorable mention if we guest post your story.

*Winner will be announced and posted on May 5th so you can all be envious of that magnificent gift card that you will not be able to spend.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Pie in the Eye

Gross story alert!!

One of our regular customers was at the counter motioning for me to come over and speak with her. I immediately noticed her swollen, red eye and asked her what happened. She claimed she had yeast in her eye. I was thinking "huh? like in you had a Martha Stewart baking accident and yeast splashed in your eye while you were making me some yummy bread?" but I had a sneaking suspicion something much grander happened. She must have noticed my look of confusion so she asked me loudly "What do you have for yeast in the eye? I touched down there and then I touched my eye!" I was like "uh-down there as in skin folds?" "NOOO as in I touched my vag THEN I touched my eye and now it hurts and I need something for my eye". Well, I was completely dumbfounded on so many levels. I really don't know of any antifungal eye meds that are not compounded. I told her to flush her eye, get some Monistat and keep the fingers away from the eyes and to please see a MD b/c it looked pretty bad to me. She seemed satisfied with that answer yet a touch embarrassed. Poor lady!! But can you imagine!

Lessons to be learned from this story: NEVER touch your vag or pee pee if it has pus or other gross things coming out of it, is in it or growing on it, then your eye or other orifices.

Don't get frustrated with the pharmacist if he/she doesn't understand HOW the incident happened. We may need to ask questions/investigate the scenario to help decide a course of action. Also, ask in private. Why do you want an audience?

Women-wear cotton panties, keep that vag clean and wash those hands after using the potty, etc.

Update: She came in the next day for Polytrim drops. Hope that helps?!!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

"Upping the Ante??"

I have to say, it's a bit disconcerting to be flirted with by the young guy picking up his Viagra, esp when he tells me he likes it because it "ups the ante" at parties. I know I'm getting a little gray around the edges, but what parties are those??

Monday, March 15, 2010

Guest Post

Thanks Steve!!

I'm not a pharmacist, just someone who's developed an interest in biochemistry and pharmacology, so yours is one of a few blogs I follow. You'll get a good laugh out of this story and I think your readers will, too. Here goes...

People really need to learn not to talk so loudly on airplanes. Today I was on a flight where the guy in the row behind me blathered ceaselessly about his job to his hapless travel companion. The guy was a rep from P&G or J&J, I don't remember which. He got to talking about how people are frequently embarrassed to purchase "sexual supplies -- you know, rubbers and shit" and he had the solution. In the works are plans to install video cameras in 4,000 Walgreens drugstores aimed specifically at the condom and lube section to monitor people's behavior. Eventually the stores will move these items to a "private area" -- although how you can get privacy under zillion-watt fluorescent lighting remains a mystery to me.

Also you'll soon be able to call your neighborhood Walgreens to phone in an order for your intimate accessories. Give the order-taker your credit card number and receive an order number. Your items will be placed in a privacy-ensuring opaque bag that you can pick up at the front of the store or at the pharmacy drive-through; all you need to do is mention your order number.

Can you imagine how difficult it was not to explode in laughter?! Everyone around this dude was snickering, even the flight attendants. When the plane landed and the door opened, the guy sitting next to him bolted like you've never seen. What a ride.


Full Moon

Ever notice that when it is a Full Moon, all the freaks & weirdos come out to play, or customers ask really dumb questions? Just like clockwork, I was always scheduled to work with the same pharmacist that week, and we would dread it. One weekend, we had a guy come in wearing sunglasses. Not unusual, except that it was overcast outside. Anyhow, he went on to ask the pharmacist if he had any medicinal mar*juana in the pharmacy. Of course, we did not and had no idea where he could even get some. So the dude finally takes off his sunglasses, and his pupils are smaller than a pinhole. Being the helpful people that we were, we directed him to the chip aisle located conveniently (for us) beside the pharmacy to help with his, uh fix. ( Cue to the sound of wolves howling as it gets dark outside)

Sunday, March 14, 2010


Does is bother anyone else when Medicaid pays for brand name acne medication? It blows my mind that they would pay for Epiduo, but won't pay for Nuvaring anymore. Just another example of how f-ed our priorities our.

- McFury, CPhT

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Tastycare: Health Care For The New Millennium Part I

I have revolutionary ideas to reduce the cost of health care for the American government, insurance providers and you!

*Non-insulin dependent diabetics only test their HbA1c levels two times per year to confirm what their physicians and pharmacists already know: you are not sticking to your dietary guidelines so why the hell should we give you expensive test strips! Let's conserve the supply of test strips for insulin dependent diabetics who really need them.

Cost savings: in the six figure range and rising as the population gets fatter

*Patient self examination with a flashlight and magnifying glass to confirm crabs or head lice should lead to a self treatment with Rid, Nix, etc. instead of tying up valuable ER doc time.

Cost savings: hundreds in unnecessary ER/urgent care visits and your dignity

*Stop putting things in your vagina or anus that were not designed to go there! You know who you are... There are discreet websites that sell and anonymously ship toys designed for those orifices that will not land you in the ER. They even use a non sexual company title on your credit card bill. You will be mocked every time a light bulb, vegetable, fruit, 9-volt battery, rodent, shampoo bottle, lube jar, glass bottle, thermometer, tuning fork, watch, wedding ring, etc. has to be removed from your inner self.

Cost savings: hundreds in unnecessary ER visits and your dignity because you can't remove that item with salad tongs and a friend that can keep a secret because there is not a single person on earth that will keep that secret because it is too damn funny!

*Unless you were born hideously deformed or maimed in a horrible accident NO cosmetic procedures will be covered by insurance. You shallow attention starved perfectionists can pay for that sh*t yourself!

Cost savings: millions and millions and millions...why do you think actors demand such high salaries...plastic surgeons and their staffers don't work for free...

*Unless you come in with a broken/shattered bone you are not getting narcotics from the ER. All moderate to severe pain should be treated with Naproxen, Tramadol, or a Ketorolac intramuscular injection in the tookus (derived from Yiddish tuchus for butt/anus/etc. See you learned something new today.).

Cost savings: billions in ER hopping junkies looking for a fix...They should go to Kentucky or Tennessee for that sh*t cuz their ever increasing overdose rates lead me to believe the streets there are paved with Opium derivatives.

*If you have irritable bowel, acid reflux, or ulcers stop eating the foods that cause you to flare/runs to the ER. You sadomasochistic little foodies need to find a happier hobby. I know, I know, buffalo wings, pizza, and anything coated with spicy Thai peanut sauce are irresistible but give it a rest.

Cost savings: thousands per person per year and lots of pain, great pain

*Generics, generics, generics! We have plenty of medicines available for almost every ailment. Use the research monies to study things we don't have highly effective treatments for and new antimicrobials because we are seeing larger fail rates with antibiotics each and every year!

Cost savings: billions in copays and reimbursements with cutting edge procedures & life-saving therapies on the horizon

*Prescribing practitioners ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT cave in to every annoying or pushy patient that insists that an antibiotic will cure a cold/flu/sniffle/congestion. Let those patients know that every time you misuse antibiotics the bacteria on your body evolve measures that render them ineffective that can be genetically passed on to other species of bacteria that leads to higher fail rates and deadlier bacteria. Meaning when you really come down with a nasty bacterial infection you might die...MRSA, MRSA, MRSA... We are running out of antibacterial options much faster than people think. Multiple drug therapies can only take us so far before they are obsolete also.

Cost savings: billions in antibiotic abuse and hospitalizations due to treatment failures or organ failure from multi-antibiotic therapies

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

A picture is worth a thousand words!

This post is going to be worth 3000, apparently. The first two were shot at a Walgreen's while I was taking a weekend getaway trip. Now this one is short and sweet: even after having studied chemistry during all of my college career, even I can barely pronounce "cetylpyridinim"... I wanted it to end in "Pyridium" now that I've got some pharmacy u
nder the belt.

This one is a row of Thick-it branded canned food directly above the "personal lubricants". (If you look VERY closely, you'll see that they were out of the big bottle of my favorite lube, Wet Platinum. :/) This combination just tickled me. Either the joke writes itself, or I'm just a very dirty person, either way.

This one is just for my own amusement - generic Flomax came in, and the color temperature on my iPhone is just a little bit off, but they look like little carrots! How adorable!

--Fries With That


Monday, March 8, 2010

Greetings from up north!

I'm Dromedary (Dairy) Queen 'cause I bust my humps in my Pharmacy. I've been a tech for over 3 years at two different pharmacy chains and have already tired of some of the madness that is becoming a regular occurrence in my world. Case in point - we do get scripts from vets for animals once in a while, but this one was truly memorable. Guy comes to the window and hands me a script for his kitty. I ask him his cat's name, and he gives it to me. Then he hands me his insurance card and says "I want to bill this to my insurance." I look at the card - ok sir, you have the same name as your cat, how interesting. Being fresh out of college, I tell my boss the situation. He rolls his eyes, and walks me thru this learning exercise of billing insurance for humans only. What a shocker - it's not covered. I go back to the counter and say with a straight face: " So apparently your insurance company does not consider your cat to be a dependent. That's $$$$ today, sir." His eyes shoot daggers at me as I smile and hand him his card back and wish him a pleasant evening. The boss and I laughed our heads off once he was out of sight.

Dairy Queen

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Little Courtesies

Why is it, when I have to call a physician's office to confirm creative script writing....there is never any admission of an oops on their part? You can't e-scribe narcotics, yet I get them, every day...and every year, one verification gets forgotten and the Board of Pharmacy very correctly points it out. And yet, when you call the doctor to confirm one, to stay on the right side of the law, the office acts like it's bothersome-for them!

Yes, I know, this is neither new nor unusual nor surprising to anyone out there, I've just hit my limit for the day. Time for more chocolate!