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Monday, October 25, 2010

Flu Vaccine Query

I know this has little or no relevance medically but I am curious to know what Vegans have to say about the flu vaccine being cultured in chicken eggs. I already know that PETA frowns upon this.

I have no problem with it because I believe that whatever I eat I can wear or use. For example I like eating beef so that gives me the right to wear leather but I still have issue with people who wear fur because I know you motherf*ckers aren't eating the animals that the fur came from. It is a waste not, want not approach to carnivorous endeavors. Some people have issue with eating animals no matter what but I want to know how they feel about using chicken eggs to grow vaccines.

Seriously, I am super curious to know. What's your opinion?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

File under "Are you kidding?!"

"Drive-throughs aren't just for burgers.

Five Bon Secours sites will offer drive-through flu shots Saturday, Oct. 16, from 9 a.m. until noon or until supplies run out.

More than 700 residents rolled down their car windows and rolled up their sleeves last year for Bon Secours Hampton Roads' drive-through clinics. "

If you think I am not serious, check it out. I can't wait until corporate pharmacy follows along with this *brilliant* idea.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

So You've Made A Human Centipede (First Sequence)

So you've made a human centipede. Now that you have achieved your ultimate creature creation and almost clinched that position with the Legion of Doom I need to let you in on the expensive and tedious upkeep of your new "pet."

(If you are confused at this point, Human Centipede First Sequence is an independent horror flick about a German doctor who was internationally famous for separating Siamese twins. He retired to his own demented experiment: linking animals or people anus to mouth to form a "centipede". You really should watch it. I found it hilarious, creepy, and inspirational while not being terribly graphic or a gore fest.)

* Each segment will need an open port for medications, fluids and parenteral nutrition. The port will need to be placed where it will be hard for the free arms of the 'pede to pull it out. You may even need some form or restraint that allows arms movement for walking but not enough movement to reach out and damage itself or others.

* Antibiotic therapy. You have essentially linked a rectal cesspool of bacterial activity to a human mouth & throat which leaves many opportunities for disaster. You will need serious antibiotic therapy for several months while the GI tracts "merge" and the surgical wounds heal.

* Antacids and anti emetics. "Segments" will need antacid therapy to prevent ulceration of the merging GI tracts while the anti emetic will prevent the risk of aspiration pneumonia if a "segment" regurgitates when the segment in front of it defecates.

* You will need to assess the fluid, caloric, and vitamin needs of each "segment" and fulfill them with parenteral nutrition. The merging GI tracts will not function at normal capacity and will need time to heal. You will also have to start with an oral liquid diet and slowly work up to solids as the healing continues. It would be such a waste if your creation died from malnutrition before it was even completely healed. Even after healing the middle and tail segments may need parenteral supplementation in order to maintain health.

* You will need to flush the ports on a regular basis to prevent bacterial growth and "crust" that could lead to a potentially fatal blood clot. The loss of one segment could be devastating for the 'pede as a whole.

* Mental health. It is going to be a task of Herculean proportion to get each "segment" to perform and succumb to the will of the whole. Humans tend to be stubborn and their will to survive unstoppable. It may take many weeks of benzodiazepines and antidepressants to bend the will of the "segments" to become the "whole." If you want to go a faster route I would recommend frontal lobotomy for all but the lead segment. Your 'pede will be easier to train when lucid.

* Housebreaking. Since each segment will need to urinate housebreaking will be essential to a cohesive and happy home environment. Cage training is the easiest. Follow the same procedure as if you were housebreaking a dog. Otherwise you will have to devise a diaper to fit the new configuration of the back end with exception of the tail "segment" which should do just fine with Depends.

* Hygiene. Since some of your "segments" are female you might want to give hormone therapy to prevent menstruation or consider hysterectomy to prevent a bloody mess each month. You will also have to bathe your 'pede on a regular basis and use deodorant for underarms.

* You will need to design a "shoe" to protect the dragging parts below the knees and to cushion the knees which will be supporting the brunt of the weight. It may even be necessary for amputation below the knee to prevent issues with poor circulation and blood clotting.

As you can see it isn't enough to just create the human centipede but to carefully and expensively care for your centipede to make it a happy, healthy, show-stopping part of your demented genius that would make even Mary Shelley proud to witness.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Lock It Up, Lock It Down!

I have seen it all. It used to be that people would just steal condoms, pregnancy tests, maybe a snack or soda, items to be used in illegal substance abuse, etc. I worked at a store that has to lock up infant formula, electric toothbrushes, body wash, shampoo, Tide laundry detergent, some makeup & skin care items and a whole slew of other items...

All night long the overhead pager rang out with "security scan all aisles" and it was just as annoying and much less amusing than the muzak. They also have a mix of off duty police and security officers most of the afternoon and all night long. They even have a special parking space reserved by the front door for police emergency. Those spaces aren't just at Target and the grocery store anymore...

The best thefts I know of were at the store I worked in as a student. For several months there was a small TV/VCR combo sitting on the cosmetics counter spouting its advertiserial poison. Then there was silence. For a few weeks no one really noticed that it was gone. Someone had stolen it during the overnight shift and nobody really noticed...or for that matter missed it.

Another time around X-Mas a lady walked out of the store with 2 perfume sets that set off the alarm. When the security guard nabbed her she was like "Well I don't want them now." Thinking she wasn't going to get arrested. Merry X-Mas b*tch, you goin' to jail.

On a separate X-Mas promo end stand we had TVs and DVD players chained to the shelf. Some ballsy motherf*cker walked out with the shelf, TV, DVD, and chain. You sir have mad street cred for that one! Did I forget to mention he never got caught? Well he didn't hence the street cred.

Back to the store at hand. I also got several calls from city corrections officers to verify medications for detainees. None of the people they called on were in our system. What do these douche bags think? "Maybe if I tell the officer I have Klonopin for seizures I can get some happy pills for my incarceration." N.O. If we have nothing on file for you the department of corrections is not going to magically make drugs appear for your enjoyment. In fact, I believe the officer you annoy with your stupid little game should get to b*tch slap you once for each time you lie. Ugh! Just another day of our taxpayer dollars being wasted.

When does it stop?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Speaking of Diabetes...

A few weeks ago I had a morbidly obese Type 2 Diabetic patient who was on oral hypoglycemics and insulin for blood sugar management. Her medicaid 3rd party prescription provider no longer covered the syringes or lancets so she told me to put them back because she would rather have her cable tv.

This left me wondering if she would just stop her insulin therapy. I explained to her the importance of her medication regimen in preventing further complications and increasing the quality of her daily life. She again stated that she would rather have her cable tv. I am talking $22 for 100 syringes and 100 lancets. She only used them once per day so she would get over 3 months out of each but still cable was more important than her personal health and well-being.

These are the patients that are the reason government funded health care needs a huge overhaul and strict conditions for qualification. If you don't give a shit about your health care why should the hard working tax payers cover for your ass? Why should the ambulance wheel your ass to the ER to fix you when you stroke out or have that first heart attack? Why should the doctors bother to help you when you are not going to follow their advice and use the medication? Why should you get free health care when there are others out there who cannot afford health care yet make too much money (which ain't a whole hell of a lot) to qualify for medicaid?

The system was a good idea in the beginning but it has lead to a subculture of people who take no personal responsibility for their health care or the healthiness of the "food" they eat. On the other hand most Americans overindulge in "food" in general because restaurant portions are way out of control and the corn industry plus government subsidies make junk food much cheaper than everything else. I use the term "food" loosely because you have all witnessed the bullshit that most folks put in their carts at the urging of their children or because it tastes good or because it was a new product that had a coupon, etc.

Do you know we have children under the age of 10 on statins to lower cholesterol? Do you know we have doctors performing gastric bypass on children under the age of 18? Do you know that we have more Type 2 Diabetic patients than any other nation on the planet? Did you know that complications from morbid obesity are rising to the top of the most common causes of death in America? Did you know that mortuaries now carry super-sized coffins because morbidly obese people who die are not gonna fit in that already over sized regular coffin that everybody else gets buried in? Did you know our military believes that the rise of childhood obesity will leave us with a huge deficit of eligible people to serve and protect over the next 30 years?

WHAT THE F*CK AMERICA???? Have we lost all sense when it comes to obesity and diabetes? I am waiting for the study to be done that proves that Type 2 Diabetic parents produce Type 1 Diabetic children. We are seeing rates of Type 1 Diabetes skyrocket or is it that Type 2 Diabetes is starting really really early due to childhood obesity? It is going to take a whole hell of a lot more than Michelle Obama's urging and public speeches to change this problem. Perhaps we could get Oprah, Jerry Springer, and Judge Judy to take a stand and educate everyone on nutrition, diabetes, and the horrible co-morbidities and dreary outcomes of being fat from the get go. The general population seems to listen to them more than their health care providers anyway. What a world, what a world.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Open Letter to the FDA

Dear FDA,

It is with great concern that I write this. I am baffled by the approval of Victoza (liraglutide) injectable for the treatment of Type 2 Diabetes. In the pre-clinical trials it gave rats and mice cancer. The rate of cancer increased with increased doses and prolonged use. Did you not see this in the paperwork submitted by the drug company or did you choose to ignore it and just put a warning in the packaging?

Are you f*cking kidding me? Were we at a loss of options for Type 2 Diabetes treatment that you were like "F*ck it, let's give them cancer so the last thing they will be worried about is diabetes!" Was that the great and wonderful solution for diabetes: cancer???

I urge medical practitioners and patients not to use this medication. In the past we have found that certain chemicals and medications that give rats and mice cancer also give people cancer. It is only a matter of time before we start seeing predatory lawsuit commercials touting the tag line "Did you or anyone you know get cancer or die from cancer while being treated with Victoza? You may be eligible for monetary compensation! Call XX Predatory & Pals Law Firm today!"

Every time I fill a prescription for Victoza a little piece of my soul withers and dies because I know I am contributing to a greater evil than diabetes and putting a patient's life in danger. These patients are not going to see their doctor for a little throat swelling, soreness, or problems swallowing because they will discount it as something from their acid reflux or some seasonal virus that just won't go away so that by the time they do see their doctor for the tumor that has been churning around in their endocrine system and spitting off little pieces of itself to the rest of the body it will be hard to treat.

I urge you to pull this drug from the market before anyone dies! I hope you realize that by approving this drug each and every life lost because of it IS YOUR FAULT! Fix this mistake before it causes irreparable damage to families across this nation!


Big N Tasty RPH

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Would you like some cheese with your whine?

This happened to me awhile ago at work, and I still get burned up thinking about it:

I was out in the OTC aisle for some reason, and this well-dressed lady came up to me and said: Can I ask you a question? I said sure. She goes on to say that her 9 year old daughter has felt very itchy between her legs for a few days now and wants to know how to make the itch disappear. First, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, as I have a daughter around that age, and if she were ever to tell me that she was itchy in her southern regions, we would be going to the doctor Right Away! I asked the customer if she has taken her daughter to see a doctor yet. Then comes my next jawdrop. She goes on to say that they do not have time to see a doctor, as she works a high-powered job, her daughter has 3 hours of private school homework every night, plus important extra curricular activities, and that they have no desire to burden the medical system for something so trivial. All sorts of things are spinning through my head (none of them particularly good!) so I said that without a definitive diagnosis even from a walk-in clinic physician, I wouldn't feel comfortable recommending a product that may or may not be effective for your daughter. Poor kid. While you're at it, maybe get yourself a lifestyle overhaul for your family - sounds like they could sure use one.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Darwin Award of the Month

The stupidity of this guy just astounds me. The director of pharmacy, and this was the best that he could muster? Smart enough to pass the board, but way low on common sense.

WESLEY CHAPEL - A University Community Hospital pharmacist was arrested by Pasco deputies Thursday, accused of forging three prescriptions for himself.

James "Jim" Mathew Maister, 45, of 4810 Diamonds Palm Loop, admitted to deputies that he wrote the prescriptions for Norco, which is hydrocodone, under a doctor's name and had them filled at the Target pharmacy at 1201 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., a report states.

On Aug. 19, Maister gave a prescription forged on a University Community Hospital prescription pad to a pharmacist and had it filled, according to reports. On Aug. 29, he returned and asked for a refill prior to its expiration, saying he was going out of town. That one was filled, too.

On Sept. 17, he returned again to refill the prescription, but this time he was told it would not be filled unless the pharmacy contacted the doctor, surgeon Xavier Canella, to approve it. This time, according to a report, he didn't hand over the prescription and left the store. Still, the pharmacist contacted the doctor and confirmed he did not write or authorize the prescription for Maister.

The pharmacist, who knew Maister as a pharmacist and past customer, spoke with him, and he asked her not to report the fraudulent prescription, a report states. She told him it was her duty to report it. Later, Maister reportedly text messaged the pharmacist asking her again not to call police

Deputies contacted Cannella, who said he has known Maister for several years from UCH in Tampa and has treated his wife.

A deputy met with Maister this week at a Dunkin Donuts in Land O' Lakes, and the pharmacist told him he has an addiction problem, a report states. He admitted several years ago he was an addict and went through a treatment program.

"He admitted he used all the medications for himself," the deputy wrote in a report.

Maister turned himself in at the Land O' Lakes Jail on Thursday and was booked in on three counts of attempting to obtain a controlled substance by fraud. He was released a few hours later after posting $6,000 bail.

Maister declined to comment today. In 2002, his pharmacist license was revoked after similar charges when he worked as director of pharmacy at LifeCare Solutions, Inc. in St. Petersburg, according to state records. The Florida Board of Pharmacy fined him $10,000, plus cost of $1,230.

After drug treatment, his license was later reinstated with a probationary period that included working directly another pharmacist and not working more than 40 hours per week. It was not clear if he's still employed by UCH