We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DOCTOR, PLEASE REFILL HER BIRTH CONTROL

My lovely morning started with a total bitch on the phone demanding a refill on her BC in 15 minutes b/c she was in a hurry. Much to my delight, her prescription had expired. Upon telling her this delicious knowledge, she flipped! She demanded I fill it anyways and proceeded to tell me that "my technician" ( I wish I owned them) told me she had one more refill left and she lost her most recent packet and I need to fill it right away. I apologized, although my inside voice was calling her an idiot, and proceeded to repeat myself-it has expired despite the refill number and we will contact her MD to get it filled. She could also call the MD and explain to them what happened to see if they could rush things along. Well, Ms. Nasty panties got all huffy and told me "thanks for nothing" then slammed the phone down on me. DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO FILL IT FOR YOU? WHY WOULDN'T I FILL IF IT I COULD YOU BEEOTCH! Laws are in place for a reason. Can't break them b/c you "lost" them. Get real.

PLEASE GOD AND HER MD READING THIS-PLEASE REFILL HER BC SO THAT SHE WILL NOT BREED! I BEG OFF YOU!!!!

Love,

Filet

Monday, June 22, 2009

Drive Thru Douchette

Dear drive thru douchette,

If you don't know how to fucking use a drive thru, don't use it! Why do we need a 5 minute banter about why you can't see me and how are you to get a "freaking" prescription filled if you can't see where I am? Did it not occur to your small brain that perhaps I am using a phone from a remote location to ask you if you want to pick up a rx or drop off a rx TO SAVE SOME FUCKING TIME? Do you see the Mickey D's teenage employee when they take your order at the big window b/c God knows you go their tri daily! See the big drawer in front of your dumb ass that is too lazy to walk into the store? By some miracle, that actually opens so that you may place your prescription in it. Magical fairies then fly over to sweep the rx from the drawer and little elves run around with their heads cut off to fill your vicodin stat. Whooooo hooooo! Why bitch at me and repeat to yourself "I can't see you!" Who cares! I don't want to see you either!

Love,
Filet

Monday, June 15, 2009

Check out my new BF in the pharmacy world!

I love this blog: http://mythresholdhasbeenmet.blogspot.com

My sentiments exactly!

Love,

Filet

...And Today I Cried

Sing to the tune of "SpongeBob SquarePants."

Tasty: Are you ready kids?

Kids: Aye aye, Tasty.

Tasty: I can't hear you!

Kids: AYE AYE, TASTY!

Tasty: WHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO wants a big rubber d*ck glued to his car?

Kids: ScreaMing DoucheBag!

Tasty: Have his nuts cut off and put in a jar?

Kids: ScreaMing DoucheBag!

Tasty: Have a size 8 and a half shoe up his *ss?

Kids: ScreaMing DoucheBag!

Tasty: Be stabbed with a spatula on CCTV?

Kids: ScreaMing DoucheBag!



Tasty: Ready?
All: ScreaMing DoucheBag
All: ScreaMing DoucheBag
All: ScreaMing DoucheBag
All: ScreaMing DoucheBag
Tasty: ScreaMing DoucheBag
Tasty: ahhahahahaahhahaha

***CCTV is the security cameras

Yes kids, this guy was the icing on the sh*t sundae that had been my week. I was ready to walk out and close the pharmacy for good. Here is a summary of what he said to me because his friend dropped off 2 prescriptions, one for Xanax and one for Cymbalta and only picked up the Xanax.

While screaming at me on the phone: YOU ARE INCOMPETENT, HOW CAN YOU NOT GIVE PEOPLE THEIR MEDICATION, YOU MUST NOT BE AMERICAN BECAUSE I SPEAK BETTER ENGLISH THAN YOU, I HAVE A BETTER EDUCATION THAN YOU, HOW DARE YOU TREAT AN AMERICAN LIKE THIS, YOU INCOMPETENT *SSHOLES CAN'T KEEP ME FROM GETTING MY DRUGS, I WILL COME OVER THE COUNTER IF I HAVE TO TO GET MY GOD DAMNED DRUGS, I NEED MY TRUVADA FILLED NOW, I AM IN THE CAR ON MY WAY THERE AND MY MOTHERF*CKING DRUGS BETTER BE READY, I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO PAGE THE DOCTOR TO GET MY PRESCRIPTION, YOU BETTER F*CKING HAVE IT READY

At this point I am trying to explain to him that I will look for the Cymbalta prescription if he gives me a few minutes to dig through the files. He keeps screaming so I hang up on him and tell my technician that we may need to call the police because I am afraid of this one.

I found the Xanax prescription as he stomps up to the counter and screams. The Cymbalta prescription was nowhere to be found. So he screamed at me for 10 minutes and said things that were far worse than what he had screamed on the phone. I was terrified! Let me explain. I have never been really scared of anyone or anything. I wasn't even really scared just shocked to have a gun in my face at work but this was far far worse. I was S.C.A.R.E.D. and I broke down in tears. I was certain this guy was not kidding about jumping over the counter and getting what he wanted. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was have to scratch, bite, or punch this angry, psychotic, HIV positive motherf*cker to defend myself so I cried.

He screamed even more and demanded that I page the doctor but he called the doctor's office and screamed at the answering service instead. I just kept looking for the rx. A guy from the answering service called and talked to me to see if I was okay because he heard the d-bag screaming at one of the service employees sitting next to him and he was concerned about the situation so I told him not to worry just have the doc call if at all possible.

The entire time this scene is unfolding my tech is helping another patient and both of them look absolutely shocked that this is really happening in a public place.

So after I get off the phone with the answering service I try to explain through terrified sobs that the doc has been paged and I will fill his Truvada. The tech rings him out and he stomps away. A few moments later the doctor calls back and hears the situation. He authorizes the rx and said this patient is always "difficult." While I am on the phone the tech is handed the Cymbalta rx. The Cymbalta rx never got dropped off with the Xanax. Thanks a million "friend" of d-bag!

So now d-bag is trying to be all friendly, so sorry, smile for me, let me give you a hug. I'll pick up the Cymbalta tomorrow. I want to rip this motherf*ckers heart out and he wants a hug? The rx he so vehemently demanded and threatened me for will be picked up tomorrow? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?????

I would have taken off the next three weeks for mental anguish if it had not already been scheduled for vacation. I need a long time to think and drown my pain in a few liters of vodka, a few liters of whiskey, and a pint of Jager for good measure. Christ in a cardigan, retail sucks!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Pharmacies Fight Back

There was an article in the Wall Street Journal about how Walgreen's will pull its Delaware pharmacies from the provider list for Delaware Medicaid. When reimbursement rates from the state are so bad that a chain pharmacy will not take the loss for thousands of prescriptions for the destitute to receive medicine we have a serious problem.

I see several causes of this problem:

1. Contrary to popular belief, wholesale drug costs do go up just like the cost of things like food every year.

2. Companies who use pharmacy as a loss leader for their business allow lawmakers to operate under the false assumption that all pharmacies can afford $4 prescriptions and thus lower reimbursement rates should be acceptable.

3. Increasing numbers of people on welfare stretch the money further and further to the point where states like California will probably go bankrupt.

4. Reimbursement rates from all insurance and welfare providers keep decreasing as copays increase to the point where many can no longer afford medications thus fewer prescriptions are being filled which can result in an increase of hospital stays and complications from people who should be taking maintenance meds but see the need to eat and have a roof over their heads as a higher priority, because it is...

I really hate the current medical system we have in the US today. The entire system is broken and there is no way our government will be able to fix it without a complete overhaul. Don't be fooled and think there is a solution out there. Ours is a profit based system and that will never change. There are way too many hands in the cookie jar that love love love those cookies. This means that no American will ever be sure that they have appropriate or adequate care unless they are a member of Congress and get a sweet sweet deal with their health plan or move to Canada, England, France, etc. and marry into citizenship.

The whole point to this rant is that even with pharmacies refusing to take state plans the system will not get better. It just makes it harder for people dependent on the state to get their treatment. Crap, I have just ruined my whole day thinking about it. Time for Chinese take out and Vodka, my meds for the day...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Oklahoma Pharmacy Robbery

Having been held up at gunpoint previously I can completely vouch for the initial adrenaline rush, terror, fight or flight desire, and utter shock after the event. If I had a weapon I guarantee there would be a dead robber or two but I work for a company that does not allow their employees to carry weapons of any kind. If anyone ever breaks into my home while I am there the perp will leave in a hearse because I am gonna make sure the f*cker never breaks into another home and terrorizes another living thing.

If you ever decide on the "thug life" and enter a home/business/etc with a weapon and the intent to rob/rape/murder/etc you have effectively forfeited your right to life by becoming a threat to society. I am a firm believer in the right to bear arms for personal protection and practice what I preach.

I am well versed in gun safety and grew up in the country where hunting is a common pastime and pretty much every household, including all of my relatives, contained several weapons ranging from pistols to high velocity repeating rifles and shotguns. My father took me on my first recreational shoot with real guns at age 8 and we had BB guns and pellet guns as children to target shoot in the yard.

I am not a member of the NRA but am licensed to carry and have a licensed 9mm semiautomatic for personal protection. The only thing I fear is the unlicensed thug with the stolen/unregistered/serial number filed off weapon. They are the only ones using guns for evil because it is not the gun that is the killer but the man that pulls the trigger.

Had I been in that pharmacist's shoes I would have shot at least twice to immobilize the first perp before running after the other perp. Two reasonably placed shots to the stomach will immobilize if not kill anyone. Internal bleeding is a b*tch when you nick the pancreas and/or spleen. You don't even have to be that accurate of a shot because both organs sit in a reasonably large space in the abdomen and are a b*tch to repair surgically usually resulting in a kill. Wow, I sound like a blood thirsty maniac...I am really only dangerous when provoked and only keep the gun at home.

As for the parents of the perps, I place most of the blame on them. Lack of family values and a gross disregard for what your children are watching, smoking, stealing, having a gun, f*cking, etc. and a lack of respect for life and posessions are your fault! You spread your legs so you could have the welfare check that lets you stay home and be useless to society and not parent your little "thuglet" so he did something stupid and got killed. Boo f*cking hoo! Tell it to Jesus because the rest of us don't care. We are sick of working hard to pay for your housing and the future incarceration of your thuglets. They all deserve to die if they are party to an armed robbery and if they rape children.

That's my story and I am sticking to it! The pharmacist should have all charges dropped and the parents should have all other offspring and their reproductive rights taken by the DCFS.