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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

That Not So Fresh Feeling

Today I feel like a big ol' douche. I spent a couple of overnights working in a part of Miami where 99.2% of the population only speaks Spanish. I struggled by using workers on the floor and other customers as translators. I am not comfortable that the level of service was top notch and they all stare at me like a circus freak when I say "No habla."

I lay part of the blame on my high school Spanish teacher who let us watch Spanish cartoons and gave us the "Cancun survival guide" approach to Spanish. I can order cocktails, order food, get directions to my hotel and a bathroom but that is about all. Thanks Mr. F. You really did me a solid since I have never been to Cancun anyway.

The rest of the blame lies with me and my douchey American habit of saying I will learn a foreign language then never really doing anything about it. A friend of mine is giving me his copy of the Rosetta Stone Spanish set which is guaranteed to be the best and fastest at making someone fluent in a new language. So if it really works I will be speaking like a Miami resident by the end of the year and feeling better about my level of pharmacy service. So with that I issue a challenge to all health care providers to learn at least one other language if you are not already fluent in two or more. You never know when it might come in handy.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Socialized Medicine Won't Fly In America

10. HMO's and PPO's would go out of business and leave thousands without jobs.

9. Prior Authorization would be the new "Gold Standard" for prescriptions.

8. No more free drug logo pens from Big Pharma.

7. Private practice physicians would no longer be able to afford McMansions with gold lined swimming pools.

6. One nurse for every 100 hospital patients.

5. Dentists will be limited to an x-ray machine and a Dremel.

4. Bye bye mid-life crisis Ferrari California convertible. Hello bicycle.

3. NASCAR bids a teary farewell to the Viagra car.

2. Soylent green is made of people.

1. Duct tape makes an awesome Band-Aid!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Death Is Sad

All deaths are sad. The tragic ones happen through accidents. The ubercoverage of Michael Jackson should not be just a celebration of a musician but a warning as to why prescription drugs are not "safe."

All prescription drugs have to be tested and safe to a certain point before they are allowed to be marketed to people. I have always had issues with douche bags who just give their friends an Ambien or a Vicodin or an Oxycontin and think nothing of it. These medications have the potential to kill.

I have always seen prescription drugs as being more dangerous than a 10 year old with a loaded pistol. Sure kids sometime kill other kids with loaded guns but many many more people die from drug overdose, interactions, severe allergic reactions, and rare side effects than even drunk drivers kill with vehicular homicide.

Don't believe me? Research all the deaths due to recalled drugs, pain killers, benzos, and hypnotics. You will be quite shocked at the alarmingly high numbers. Some of these will be in addition to "street drugs" but most of them are not. Impress upon your patients the "safety" of these drugs is not really safe. Giving a tab to your friend of buying one from a stranger so you can get "high" is a really bad idea.

If you want to get high buy some snacks, stay home and smoke some cannabis. Nobody ever died from that but it sure makes children's programming that much more fascinating and with the economy in the sh*tter you probably can't afford to smoke much anyway, let alone buy snacks.