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Sunday, March 11, 2012

F*ck You, Hollywood!!!!

It has become a horrifying trend that I go to a theater with great expectations from some creatively edited promo preview that makes me want to watch a movie. So I go to the theater and plunk down a wad of my "I work to satisfy the whims of over privileged douche bags and bow down to the ridiculous demands of my corporate puppet masters" money to buy a ticket then bleed out a kidney to afford a soda and popcorn so I can sit for over 70 minutes to be let down and kicked in the face with your smug "We made this and you suckers paid to watch it" piece of shit movie. The money I spent on the ticket alone would have been put to better use if I wiped my ass with it.

I could have stayed home and watched the television programming that I pay a premium for instead of wasting any money at a theater. You know what's scary, Hollywood? Fighting for your life or your child's life due to cancer, physical therapy after a horrible crippling accident, trying to survive after being severely burned, losing your home because you lost your job, a death of a loved one that literally destroys your outlook on having any shred of happiness ever, growing up not knowing if you will have any food or water for that single day, growing up in a place where things are bombed on a regular basis, the shit I dream about on a daily basis when I am trying to rest, rape, politicians preventing women from having choice or access to birth control, etc.

What I am saying is this: better content, better story lines, better dialog, better cinematography and guaranteed refunds if the movie is a total piece of shit!

That is all.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

What Would You Do??

So with the possibility of losing my job I was tossing around ideas of what would I do if I got fired. There are so many things but I go back to an idea some friends and I had in college but with an added twist. I want to share with you and in turn would like you to share with me. Please leave a comment with your dream job or a job you would do if you got fired.

I would use my unemployment time wisely and attend cooking school for baking and pastry. When finished some friends and I are going to open a multipurpose business. It shall be called Dia Betty's. Dia Betty's will specialize in homemade beers in limited edition that will only be available at our bar until they run out or until we decide to stop making that particular beer and change the recipe. The bar part will be open at 5pm for happy hour until last call at 2:30am. After we toss out the drunks and hose down the bar the magic happens in the other part of our facility.

The other part of our facility is a state of the art bakery. We will have a pastry of the day, a bread of the day, and whatever the hell else we feel like baking. We won't do specialty order cakes or any of that crap. It is a first come, first serve this is what we made today deal. When we sell our last baked item the shop is closed so come early or you aren't getting any carb-loaded goodness. If you sleep in your car after last call you might score some sweet sweet pastry before it sells out.

The beauty of Dia Betty's is that everything we serve is unhealthy, super delicious, and there ain't nobody named Betty working there. The hours will be limited as well as the days of the week we are open because the beauty of owning your own business is that you set the hours and the only standards you have to meet are set by the government and not some douche in a suit that has never worked in a retail pharmacy or have any idea what impact limiting medications and one-on-one time with a drug expert has on a human being's quality of life.


Saturday, March 3, 2012

Corporate Vision

Sing to the song "Innervision" by System of a Down

I have a job, maybe not long
I'll have to find one, you'll have to find one
We speculate, no one will say
Will I be fired, I cannot see the

Corporate Vision, Corporate Vision

More hours cut, no twenty four
Manager silence, staffers all scared
Some put in notice, already left
Will I be fired, I cannot see the

Corporate Vision, Corporate Vision

We speculate to reinvent the process
New rolls we will play
Giving you drugs, giving advice
Scumbag suits always cut the payroll
Skeleton crew
Suits get more, we get less

Corporate Vision
Corporate Vision
Corporate Vision
Corporate Vision
Corporate Vision

Manager silence, manager silence