Our world is full of amazing and wondrous things that like to hijack our cells and reproduce themselves. They also have the ability to mutate rapidly in response to outside threats and maintain their stealthy lives. These things are viruses.
My concern is with the H1N1 virus. It has been prominent in the news for a few years now and since 2008 a small amount of cases have popped up that are the A(H1N1) pdm09 virus with H2754 neuraminidase substitution. So you are like "What does this mean for me?" For all of us this particular little beastie is immune to the effects of Tamiflu (oseltamivir) which has been the preferred first line treatment for the past few years. There was a point in time where every child that went to the ER got tamiflu and amoxicillin which I find completely ridiculous. Test for it don't guess and just prescribe shit and pat yourself on the back to feel like you treated the patient. Antibiotic over prescribing is just as big a problem for bacterial resistance and also perpetuates the populace myth that antibiotics treat the common cold.
If this strain becomes prominent and resistant to all of the currently available antivirals we will run out of viable treatments and have to rely on vaccination as the only means of defense. I pose the question "Will we ever reach a point in time where vaccination is no longer a viable preventative for H1N1?" Can a virus mutate enough that our immune system cannot make a viable weapon out of its vaccine formulation to protect us? I probably need to consult with the CDC for that answer because if anyone would know it would be them.
The future could hold a worldwide population decline greater than when Bubonic plague wiped out most of Europe. Could this be the tipping point for humanity? Sweet dreams!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
I Still Hate F*cking Coupons
It is infuriating to run a claim, fill a prescription and bill the copay discount card. The prescription sits in the ready bin like the perfect little Christmas gift and the patient decides to pick it up at a different location. Not a problem. The magic of technology will reverse both claims at my store so the other store can bill them.
Phone rings. Shit! The secondary claim did not reverse and the other location called the card hotline but they need someone from out location to call to reverse the claim. Shit! Now I have to waste my time on the phone with these discount card f*ckers to do something this f*cking computer system was supposed to do for me.
AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Happy f*cking Saturday... Just a tech and me in the pharmacy, lines blowing up with people and phones ringing off the hook. Customer service is in the shitter and it won't get any better unless a miracle happens and we get more tech hours. Does it take a human sacrifice? At this point I know several pharmacists and pharmacy managers who would be willing and have a list of names for the ritual.
I need a vacation more than a naked Randy Travis needs cigarettes...
Phone rings. Shit! The secondary claim did not reverse and the other location called the card hotline but they need someone from out location to call to reverse the claim. Shit! Now I have to waste my time on the phone with these discount card f*ckers to do something this f*cking computer system was supposed to do for me.
AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!
Happy f*cking Saturday... Just a tech and me in the pharmacy, lines blowing up with people and phones ringing off the hook. Customer service is in the shitter and it won't get any better unless a miracle happens and we get more tech hours. Does it take a human sacrifice? At this point I know several pharmacists and pharmacy managers who would be willing and have a list of names for the ritual.
I need a vacation more than a naked Randy Travis needs cigarettes...
What Broils My Patty
You know what broils my patty? When some jackass in a suit says "Hey I have a great idea on how to make sure people refill prescriptions! We will have an automated phone call tell them they have medications that should be renewed." All the other suits agree and after a round of congratulational hand jobs they have the squints in the tech department make it happen.
They send out some bullshit memo that doesn't really explain what is going on, make it a HUGE pain in the ass to take people off this particular call list, and don't make any type of announcement to the public at large who will receive these particular calls.
And in
3,
2,
1,
We get a hundred or so people in the drive thru pissed off because the automated system called them and why isn't their take-home-a-sack of 20 drugs ready like the robot voice said. "You need to fill them now because the machine called and said they were ready!" "I have this problem every time I come to McDruggie's!" "Your staff isn't intelligent enough to run a pharmacy!" "How do you expect to keep us shopping here with such terrible service!" "I need your manager!" The list of complaints goes on and on and on.....
So a big FFP "F*CK YOU!!!" to the jackass that came up with that wonderfully painful idea that gets the already horribly understaffed and underappreciated workers on the front line yelled at repeatedly. You wonder why employee morale is in the shitter and the satisfaction surveys for most stores are below 50%...
They send out some bullshit memo that doesn't really explain what is going on, make it a HUGE pain in the ass to take people off this particular call list, and don't make any type of announcement to the public at large who will receive these particular calls.
And in
3,
2,
1,
We get a hundred or so people in the drive thru pissed off because the automated system called them and why isn't their take-home-a-sack of 20 drugs ready like the robot voice said. "You need to fill them now because the machine called and said they were ready!" "I have this problem every time I come to McDruggie's!" "Your staff isn't intelligent enough to run a pharmacy!" "How do you expect to keep us shopping here with such terrible service!" "I need your manager!" The list of complaints goes on and on and on.....
So a big FFP "F*CK YOU!!!" to the jackass that came up with that wonderfully painful idea that gets the already horribly understaffed and underappreciated workers on the front line yelled at repeatedly. You wonder why employee morale is in the shitter and the satisfaction surveys for most stores are below 50%...
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
New Taste Sensation!!!
Too hard to get your Oxycottin on? Sick and tired of the same old Purple Drank? If you're not a rookie or a promethazine fiend and need a new S-Y-R-UP have I got a new taste sensation for you!
Dirty Sprite
This fabulous mix of 2 ounces codeine liquid, 12 ounces of Sprite and 1 or 2 grape Jolly Ranchers will have you shaking your shit maker til your pimp slaps you down! Want to get your lean on instead? then make it even dirtier with a crushed up bar of Xanax!
Dirty Sprite, get some!
**The bloggers at FFP do not condone the abuse of any prescription medication and believe that emergency services should stop treating overdose morons and let natural selection take precedence.
**Fake prescriptions for any and all controlled substances are a felony.
Dirty Sprite
This fabulous mix of 2 ounces codeine liquid, 12 ounces of Sprite and 1 or 2 grape Jolly Ranchers will have you shaking your shit maker til your pimp slaps you down! Want to get your lean on instead? then make it even dirtier with a crushed up bar of Xanax!
Dirty Sprite, get some!
**The bloggers at FFP do not condone the abuse of any prescription medication and believe that emergency services should stop treating overdose morons and let natural selection take precedence.
**Fake prescriptions for any and all controlled substances are a felony.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Congratulations! You're a Loser!
I am a body that fills in a space at any number of chain pharmacy locations in the large midwestern state I dwell in. Different cities and counties have different laws concerning sales of Sudafed containing products. Most areas have an rx only requirement but when I work at the ones that allow Sudafed sales with a government issued photo ID the antics ensue.
The only acceptable forms of ID are passports, military photo ID, driver's license or state ID. Some people try to pass off expired IDs, stolen IDs, library cards, public pool photo ID, employment badge, etc. Each person seems overwhelmingly surprised when an ID is denied. Sorry!
Depending on the white trashiness/ghettoness of a neighborhood I will keep a tally of how many IDs get denied. It is kind of funny because they are always like "I haven't bought any in a long time." but the online state registry says you have so I give them the rejection printout with website that explains why they can't have Sudafed even though they already know damn good and well why. I'm talking to you lady shake'n baking meth in the loss prevention room at a Wal-Mart...
I can guess with 95% accuracy which IDs are going to reject. Such stereotypes are: black guy with dreadlocks and stupid tattoos, black lady with scabby face and dazed look, white lady scabby and bruised (will probably also want a 10 day supply of insulin syringes for her grandma/cat/friend's dog), older black guy with bluetooth earpiece in and currently conversing to make sure he has the right package size/product, white guy/girl that is unsure and has to go out to the car or another person in the aisle to confirm desired product size/contents, emaciated young female wearing stupid sparkly clothing/eye makeup/smells of weed/already fucked up on something or another, dirty fingernail girl with dirty fingernail boyfriend both buying same product usually replete with stupid tattoos, homeless looking guy/girl with relatively new ID and exact amount of cash, guy that opens wallet with multiple different state IDs, guy/girl with ID from a municipality 2 or more hour drive away . If you work in a pharmacy with ID sales you have seen and sent away empty handed all of these stereotypes because stereotypes have their start in truth and reality.
I emailed the DEA to see what they were doing about it and suggesting they take a statistical approach to weeding out meth cooks. I told them they need to get the math geeks that helped Target figure out when a woman was pregnant around the 2 month mark. Why can't law enforcement take all the sales records of IDs and match multiple purchases and state IDs then cross reference with welfare, tax, disability, and unemployment records attached to these same IDs and hunt the fuckers down like the worthless shit that they are. Maybe I'm a little overzealous in the war on this particular drug but I despise what was once limited in scope to biker gangs in the 70s to now rotting the infrastructure of every neighborhood in modern society.
I leave you with my favorite rejection. I had a middle aged black lady come in with a half smoked Blunt in her mouth. She handed me an expired $2 off coupon for Aleve D Cold & Sinus. I told her it was expired and she was like "Auight." So I scan the product then the ID. It rejects. She gave me the most well rehearsed stink/surprise face I have ever seen with the head cocked back and eyes wide. She even took the Blunt out of her mouth and said "Say what?" I almost lost my shit! It took every ounce of self control I could muster not to double over on the floor with laughter. It could have only been better if I threw confetti and released balloons like the Publisher's Clearing House Prize patrol. Congratulations! YOU'RE A LOSER!
The only acceptable forms of ID are passports, military photo ID, driver's license or state ID. Some people try to pass off expired IDs, stolen IDs, library cards, public pool photo ID, employment badge, etc. Each person seems overwhelmingly surprised when an ID is denied. Sorry!
Depending on the white trashiness/ghettoness of a neighborhood I will keep a tally of how many IDs get denied. It is kind of funny because they are always like "I haven't bought any in a long time." but the online state registry says you have so I give them the rejection printout with website that explains why they can't have Sudafed even though they already know damn good and well why. I'm talking to you lady shake'n baking meth in the loss prevention room at a Wal-Mart...
I can guess with 95% accuracy which IDs are going to reject. Such stereotypes are: black guy with dreadlocks and stupid tattoos, black lady with scabby face and dazed look, white lady scabby and bruised (will probably also want a 10 day supply of insulin syringes for her grandma/cat/friend's dog), older black guy with bluetooth earpiece in and currently conversing to make sure he has the right package size/product, white guy/girl that is unsure and has to go out to the car or another person in the aisle to confirm desired product size/contents, emaciated young female wearing stupid sparkly clothing/eye makeup/smells of weed/already fucked up on something or another, dirty fingernail girl with dirty fingernail boyfriend both buying same product usually replete with stupid tattoos, homeless looking guy/girl with relatively new ID and exact amount of cash, guy that opens wallet with multiple different state IDs, guy/girl with ID from a municipality 2 or more hour drive away . If you work in a pharmacy with ID sales you have seen and sent away empty handed all of these stereotypes because stereotypes have their start in truth and reality.
I emailed the DEA to see what they were doing about it and suggesting they take a statistical approach to weeding out meth cooks. I told them they need to get the math geeks that helped Target figure out when a woman was pregnant around the 2 month mark. Why can't law enforcement take all the sales records of IDs and match multiple purchases and state IDs then cross reference with welfare, tax, disability, and unemployment records attached to these same IDs and hunt the fuckers down like the worthless shit that they are. Maybe I'm a little overzealous in the war on this particular drug but I despise what was once limited in scope to biker gangs in the 70s to now rotting the infrastructure of every neighborhood in modern society.
I leave you with my favorite rejection. I had a middle aged black lady come in with a half smoked Blunt in her mouth. She handed me an expired $2 off coupon for Aleve D Cold & Sinus. I told her it was expired and she was like "Auight." So I scan the product then the ID. It rejects. She gave me the most well rehearsed stink/surprise face I have ever seen with the head cocked back and eyes wide. She even took the Blunt out of her mouth and said "Say what?" I almost lost my shit! It took every ounce of self control I could muster not to double over on the floor with laughter. It could have only been better if I threw confetti and released balloons like the Publisher's Clearing House Prize patrol. Congratulations! YOU'RE A LOSER!
Friday, July 27, 2012
I Hate Diet Pills
Yay!! The FDA has finally approved the first prescription diet drug in 13 years despite concerns of heart valve damage. I have a feeling this one will go the way of all the other diet drugs that were discontinued due to an unacceptable rate of morbidity and mortality. See ya...
Our "I want it now" society is so willing to stuff pills, potions, and shakes down its gullet that most people don't care about safety or keeping the weight off long term they just want to drop it now. The fastest ways to lose a lot of weight fast are liposuction and starvation (ie lap band or stomach bypass or just plain old sew the lips shut starvation). Both methods give rapid results with serious risks if you really want it now. I do not recommend either option.
I am not a fan of over the counter diet pills which are basically high ass doses of caffeine and its analogs that raise your blood pressure and heart rate in a body that probably already has high blood pressure. Drinking coffee on top of those or taking prescribed amphetamine analogs with them could land you in the emergency room or in the morgue.
There is a tried and true way to lose weight and keep it off. It involves the two most dreaded words in the English language: lifestyle modification. Oh yes, you will lie to your doctor about making all the changes he/she suggested even though you didn't make any attempt at them. The doc knows you are lying if the weight isn't coming off. I know you are lying and most of all you know you are lying. The only person you hurt is yourself.
Weight loss is super easy and steady if you make even the slightest changes so I am going to give you simple sure fire tips to drop weight. Mind you it will be a slow process but you are more likely to keep the weight off with these tips, feel better in the long run, and if your heart could it would leave you a big sloppy thank you note.
1. Stop making excuses for yourself. Big is beautiful, I'm big boned, it's a thyroid problem, etc. All of these are excuses that pretty much set yourself up for ridicule and failure. You have this wonderful biochemical machine at your disposal that will do wondrous things and can last for 100 years or more if you take care of it.
2. Go to your doctor, find a new doctor, just get to a doctor and get a good baseline on all your biochemical values. You need to know your current weight, blood pressure, your HbA1c (indicator of blood sugar levels over the past 3 months), if you have vitamin deficiencies, if you really do have a thyroid imbalance, your liver function, full cholesterol panel and if there are any indicators of underlying disease that have been undiagnosed so far because you haven't bothered to see a doctor in X amount of years. These tests let you know how much neglect and stress your body has suffered so far. These tests also will let the doc evaluate what types of dietary changes and exercise changes would be best for your situation.
3. Keep a food diary. You may think this is stupid but most people don't realize how much and what types of food they consume on a daily basis. Forgot you had 3 iced coffees and a donut for breakfast? Those four items could have already put you over 1200 calories and you still ate 2 more times that day. I'm not gonna tell you to micromanage your calorie intake but I do want you to be aware of portion sizes and types of things you eat and drink in a day. Everything you put in the body pretty much stays with you as stored fat if you don't burn it off.
4. Stop drinking your calories. Changing from regular soda to diet or zero versions of that soda can save the average person 600-1200 calories per day. Drink a small glass of juice with breakfast instead of a large one. Don't use half a pound of sugar when you mix a packet of Kool-Aid. Switch to skim milk. It can take some getting used to but you still get the vitamins and flavor without all the fat content.
5. Drink more water. I prefer to filter my tap water through a Brita pitcher to get out most of the chemicals and things that pass through in the cleaning process from water treatment facilities. It makes a huge difference in the taste of tap water and it is significantly cheaper than buying cases of bottled water, most of which are tap water or spring water (which is full of microscopic critters and dirt, ew).
6. Eat more colorful foods. I'm not talking Fruit Loops and candies I'm talking veggies and fruits. The more natural whole foods you eat the better off you are. Whole veggies and fruits are chock full of vitamins, antioxidants and water which ALL help your body take care of itself and don't give you the lazy tired feeling of a high fat, high carb meal. If you are leery of pesticide residue buy organics or grow a small garden of your own.
7. Eat lean cuts of meat and fish. You don't have to give up meat completely just leave the fatty steak behind and go for a leaner option. Any piece of meat can be awesome when properly cooked and seasoned to personal preference and fish is not only delish but also full of omega-3 fatty acids (heart healthy fats).
8. Limit carbs like bread, pasta and rice. Make them a significantly smaller part of your food intake because they are calorie/sugar dense which can add the pounds if not moderated.
9. Don't be afraid to treat yourself once in a while. Make your favorite sweet or restaurant meal a reward for your hard work. Lost 15 pounds? It is okay to celebrate with an ice cream bar, just one because if you get a little crazy that 15 will be right back on.
10. Make exercise fun! You don't have to go to a fancy gym and have a trainer beat you up to lose weight. Make exercise a family affair. Play sports that the whole family enjoys or take daily family walks so you all get exercise. Walk those golf clubs around instead of taking the little cart. Swim. Vigorous dusting, sweeping, mopping and vacuuming will not only get the heart pumping but your house will be squeaky clean!
11. Expect failure and small victories. Nothing is built in a day and years of self neglect takes a lot of time to reverse. It is better to try and try again than to quit or never start at all.
I leave you with the words of the dumbest promotion ever, Thank you (for reading) and be well!
Our "I want it now" society is so willing to stuff pills, potions, and shakes down its gullet that most people don't care about safety or keeping the weight off long term they just want to drop it now. The fastest ways to lose a lot of weight fast are liposuction and starvation (ie lap band or stomach bypass or just plain old sew the lips shut starvation). Both methods give rapid results with serious risks if you really want it now. I do not recommend either option.
I am not a fan of over the counter diet pills which are basically high ass doses of caffeine and its analogs that raise your blood pressure and heart rate in a body that probably already has high blood pressure. Drinking coffee on top of those or taking prescribed amphetamine analogs with them could land you in the emergency room or in the morgue.
There is a tried and true way to lose weight and keep it off. It involves the two most dreaded words in the English language: lifestyle modification. Oh yes, you will lie to your doctor about making all the changes he/she suggested even though you didn't make any attempt at them. The doc knows you are lying if the weight isn't coming off. I know you are lying and most of all you know you are lying. The only person you hurt is yourself.
Weight loss is super easy and steady if you make even the slightest changes so I am going to give you simple sure fire tips to drop weight. Mind you it will be a slow process but you are more likely to keep the weight off with these tips, feel better in the long run, and if your heart could it would leave you a big sloppy thank you note.
1. Stop making excuses for yourself. Big is beautiful, I'm big boned, it's a thyroid problem, etc. All of these are excuses that pretty much set yourself up for ridicule and failure. You have this wonderful biochemical machine at your disposal that will do wondrous things and can last for 100 years or more if you take care of it.
2. Go to your doctor, find a new doctor, just get to a doctor and get a good baseline on all your biochemical values. You need to know your current weight, blood pressure, your HbA1c (indicator of blood sugar levels over the past 3 months), if you have vitamin deficiencies, if you really do have a thyroid imbalance, your liver function, full cholesterol panel and if there are any indicators of underlying disease that have been undiagnosed so far because you haven't bothered to see a doctor in X amount of years. These tests let you know how much neglect and stress your body has suffered so far. These tests also will let the doc evaluate what types of dietary changes and exercise changes would be best for your situation.
3. Keep a food diary. You may think this is stupid but most people don't realize how much and what types of food they consume on a daily basis. Forgot you had 3 iced coffees and a donut for breakfast? Those four items could have already put you over 1200 calories and you still ate 2 more times that day. I'm not gonna tell you to micromanage your calorie intake but I do want you to be aware of portion sizes and types of things you eat and drink in a day. Everything you put in the body pretty much stays with you as stored fat if you don't burn it off.
4. Stop drinking your calories. Changing from regular soda to diet or zero versions of that soda can save the average person 600-1200 calories per day. Drink a small glass of juice with breakfast instead of a large one. Don't use half a pound of sugar when you mix a packet of Kool-Aid. Switch to skim milk. It can take some getting used to but you still get the vitamins and flavor without all the fat content.
5. Drink more water. I prefer to filter my tap water through a Brita pitcher to get out most of the chemicals and things that pass through in the cleaning process from water treatment facilities. It makes a huge difference in the taste of tap water and it is significantly cheaper than buying cases of bottled water, most of which are tap water or spring water (which is full of microscopic critters and dirt, ew).
6. Eat more colorful foods. I'm not talking Fruit Loops and candies I'm talking veggies and fruits. The more natural whole foods you eat the better off you are. Whole veggies and fruits are chock full of vitamins, antioxidants and water which ALL help your body take care of itself and don't give you the lazy tired feeling of a high fat, high carb meal. If you are leery of pesticide residue buy organics or grow a small garden of your own.
7. Eat lean cuts of meat and fish. You don't have to give up meat completely just leave the fatty steak behind and go for a leaner option. Any piece of meat can be awesome when properly cooked and seasoned to personal preference and fish is not only delish but also full of omega-3 fatty acids (heart healthy fats).
8. Limit carbs like bread, pasta and rice. Make them a significantly smaller part of your food intake because they are calorie/sugar dense which can add the pounds if not moderated.
9. Don't be afraid to treat yourself once in a while. Make your favorite sweet or restaurant meal a reward for your hard work. Lost 15 pounds? It is okay to celebrate with an ice cream bar, just one because if you get a little crazy that 15 will be right back on.
10. Make exercise fun! You don't have to go to a fancy gym and have a trainer beat you up to lose weight. Make exercise a family affair. Play sports that the whole family enjoys or take daily family walks so you all get exercise. Walk those golf clubs around instead of taking the little cart. Swim. Vigorous dusting, sweeping, mopping and vacuuming will not only get the heart pumping but your house will be squeaky clean!
11. Expect failure and small victories. Nothing is built in a day and years of self neglect takes a lot of time to reverse. It is better to try and try again than to quit or never start at all.
I leave you with the words of the dumbest promotion ever, Thank you (for reading) and be well!
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Way Too Deep: Signs You Might Be Overinvested
Or as I like to call it, "Looking Around My House".
I was thinking about 'tells' of people's jobs. You'd probably find steel-toed boots in a construction worker's house, or a waitress that reflexively straightens a table after a restaurant meal. For me, it's a combination of the two- so here's how I can tell if someone is in the pharmacy.
1. Their OTC meds have Xs on them.
2. If not Xs, then expiration dates, and sometimes both.
3. Lab coats. Lab coats in places you wouldn't expect them.
4. Constantly irritated with misuse of drug names/classes in media. "You idiot, you can OD on a benzo, but 'Benzodiazepine' is not an actual drug name!"
5. Constantly irritated with friends/family's misuse of meds. No, giving your kids penicillin when only one is sick is a terrible idea. Yes, by all means, throw out the bottle of Alka-Seltzer that still says it was made in Indiana out, please.
6. If they're in retail, everything that can be sold by their employer will be bought. Look at your store brands, if you buy them. If your vanity/nightstand looks like it came from one of their store-ads, well...
What do you consider a tell?
I was thinking about 'tells' of people's jobs. You'd probably find steel-toed boots in a construction worker's house, or a waitress that reflexively straightens a table after a restaurant meal. For me, it's a combination of the two- so here's how I can tell if someone is in the pharmacy.
1. Their OTC meds have Xs on them.
2. If not Xs, then expiration dates, and sometimes both.
3. Lab coats. Lab coats in places you wouldn't expect them.
4. Constantly irritated with misuse of drug names/classes in media. "You idiot, you can OD on a benzo, but 'Benzodiazepine' is not an actual drug name!"
5. Constantly irritated with friends/family's misuse of meds. No, giving your kids penicillin when only one is sick is a terrible idea. Yes, by all means, throw out the bottle of Alka-Seltzer that still says it was made in Indiana out, please.
6. If they're in retail, everything that can be sold by their employer will be bought. Look at your store brands, if you buy them. If your vanity/nightstand looks like it came from one of their store-ads, well...
What do you consider a tell?
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