We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Open Letter To Our Warehouse Tote Packers

Dear Warehouse Tote Packers,

I am sure you are aware that the products you delicately smash into overfilled totes can be quite pricey to replace. Some of my greatest finds include sticking my hand in the "lotioned" tote. Nothing makes my heart sing with joy more than a hand full of slimy unknown cold semi-solid.

I also am quite overcome with emotion every time a bottle of Tussionex ruins an entire controlled substance tote. There is a significant amount of paperwork involved with that one, not to mention the tedious hours spent trying to wipe sticky yellow goo off bottles of pills in the hopes that the interior has not been breached and the medication inside is dispensable.

I implore you to stop smashing Spiriva. It looks like Banner went all gamma ray and let the Hulk smash the boxes into an atrocious cardboard mess. It is a travesty to try and reshape these boxes which many times have to be abandoned so that the inhaler inside can be put in a plastic bag and labeled for dispensing.

I am not complaining for complaint's sake. I express my deep concern at what the patients think about our operation. I would much rather be seen as an outfit that cares than one that lets a clown in a paper hat toss out drugs like confetti. I am also concerned at the exorbitant cost to replace what is damaged and the dent it puts in our retirement match at the end of the year. I don't know about you but I do NOT plan on working until the day I die.

Let's all do our part to keep this ship from sinking.


Big N Tasty RPh

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Something to Ponder

A guy came in to get his bowel prep for the ever joyful colonoscopy. It was Halflytely. I explained to him how to mix it up and use it and we joked about the bad taste. He asked me if he could mix it with beer instead of water.

I told him that would probably taste much worse than mixing with water and it is not recommended to drink alcohol before a colonoscopy. Didn't he read the multi-page prep list from his doc? Otherwise it would be Half Lite Ly by Schlitz. Either way you get to crap a ton of liquid.

Monday, January 18, 2010

99.9% Sure

Hand sanitizer use is at an all time high. That 99.9% germ killing satisfaction is going to put us in a very bad place.

The mayor of Kootie Town has a dream and is ensuring and encouraging that the 0.1% of survivors pass on their genetic material to others so no germ is left to die.

Have a nice day. Vive la Revolution!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

A Pharmacist's Life For Me

A junior high kid wants to know what I think about pharmacy and if it would be a good career. My answer is the following sing-a-long to the theme of Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life For Me) from Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pharmacist's life for me.
We count, we counsel, we check and bag,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!
We answer questions for those who can't poop,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!

Yo ho, ho ho, a pharmacist's life for me.
We chart, we round, we adjust and recommend,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!
Specialty teams, and even IVs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!

Yo ho, yo ho, a pharmacist's life for me!

So it's by no means an all-inclusive peak into the glamorous life of a pharmacist and even though I complain a lot I do love the job. I always have a good story, the salary and job security are great, and some times I even get to help someone that actually says "Thank You!"

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Can You Hear Me Now?

A homosexual male couple walked into the store and asked the manager where "enemas" were. The manager vocally directed them to the bottom of the back wall.

A few minutes later they reappeared still looking for "enemas". The manager walked them to the location on the bottom of the back wall.

The couple laughed and said "We already did that."

They were looking for Entenmann's baked goods. Yum yum! I know a manager that needs a Bell-tone for Christmas next year...

Sunday, January 3, 2010

And They're Off!

Douche baggery and its junkie poster children have started the New Year off with a bang!

Ok, there was no "bang" but there could have been...

A McDruggie's on the east coast of Florida, in a county where you do not need a prescription for syringes, had a lady pull in the drive-thru New Year's eve with a gun to steal syringes.

Seriously, couldn't she have scraped up the $1.60 plus tax in change out of the seats of her car? Maybe scrounged the parking lot for coins or asked someone for change?

Instead she was apprehended by the police and the pharmacist went to the station to give a statement. In Florida if you produce a gun in a robbery it is minimum 10 years sentencing. Of course, with good behavior and rehab she will probably get out sooner but for real?

Ten years for a 10 pack of syringes? Man, drugs are bad mmmkay!

****Update****1/5/10, I got more info on the incident. The pharmacist went to the station to look at mug shots and identified the lady from a previous arrest. The officers knew exactly who she was and where she stayed because she had been a problem for quite some time. When police went to pick her up she was of course blitzed out of her gourd and not really coherent.

This is why we should just start executing people with rap sheets a page long. They always escalate to violence, they cannot be rehabilitated, and we are just pissing away the hard earned money of John & Jane Q. taxpayer that should be spent on education.