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Sunday, February 12, 2012

What Sours My Mayonnaise

You know what sours my mayonnaise? When there is a SARAA alert because some dumb ass parent takes their kid out of the hospital after the kid got a kidney transplant with no medications. This isn't like changing batteries in your remote control f*cktard! You can't just swap out the kidneys, stitch 'em up and you're ready to roll.

Let me break it down for you: Each individual has a set of protein markers throughout the body that tell the immune system "This is me." We find a "match" for a patient that has the most protein identification markers on it that are as close to the patient's protein identification markers as possible. Before, during, and after the transplant a patient has to be on drugs that keep the immune system from poking around the new kidneys and saying "Hey, that doesn't belong here so I have to kill it to protect myself!"

When the immune system decides to kill the new kidneys toxins will no longer be filtered out of the body. These toxins build up in the blood stream and are circulated in the blood to poison the rest of the body. Given enough time the rest of the body will shut down such as the liver, the lungs, the brain, the heart, etc. You have essentially put your child into the land of slow painful death.

Congratulations! You're a murderer whose reckless stupidity sours my mayonnaise!

***Update: On a happy note the child turned up at a hospital in a different state. I hope she gets the best of care and her dumb ass parent goes to prison.

Friday, February 10, 2012

Cough Syrup Query

We got an email question from someone wanting a good cough syrup. Unfortunately the best thing over the counter everywhere is Delsym liquid. In some states various brands of guaifenesin/codeine syrup are available by signing a registry. The catch is that chain and big box retailers will not sell them OTC even if the law allows. It reduces insurance and DEA liability to not sell without a prescription. The even better cold/cough liquids like Tussionex and Promethazine/codeine are rx only and controlled substances. Since some douche bag rapper made a song about "drank" which is prometh/codeine as a recreational beverage many physicians are reluctant to write for it. Another option is Tessalon Perles which are rx gel caps that most practitioners will have no issue with prescribing because they won't get you high but they will quiet the cough. There are cough quelling options but sometimes they are hard to come by.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Turnabout Is Fair Play

Long long ago, in a pharmacy not so far away a girl began her career. The hours were normal but the work load was always slamming. She bitched and moaned about being understaffed, overworked, and people just being plain rude. Other pharmacists worked at different retailers where the working was easy and the hassles were minimal.

Now a change in the business brought about by a corporate divorce has worked to her advantage. The chaos has shifted from this girl to the others. No more complaining, less people being rude, her working is now super easy. The others now have 2 hour wait times and no technician help. Oh the sweet sweet irony of the others now being slammed.

She now laughs at the others when she tips her glass. No more drinking because she is bitter now only drinking for sport. Sweet sweet irony...