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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Here Fishy Fishy!

It's that wonderful time of year when McDruggies is trying to drum up new customers so there are rumors of the mass marketed and always dreaded $25 dollar gift card rx transfer program turning up in the weekly ad. WTF? After thoughtfully cutting our staff down to the bare minimum you wish to put us through this hell again?

These gift cards bring in the worst people. Let me give you some examples.

1. Medicaid patients who legally are not eligible but the rx staffers are giving them the gift cards anyway because most of them will get violent and screamy if we don't.

2. Medicare patients who legally are not eligible but the rx staffers are giving them the gift cards anyway because most of them will get violent and screamy if we don't.

3. Didn't we just settle a huge government lawsuit because of reasons 1 and 2 last year?

4. Junkies. They will try to transfer controlled substances that are weeks too soon to refill so they can get really high and get a bonus gift card to buy sudafed with.

5. Idiots who think bringing in or having the doc call in a new rx means they get a gift card because they came here from {insert random pharmacy name here} and are a new patient (ie patient transferred to us, not rx transferred to us).

6. Hateful bottom-feeding coupon-whore shrews that go to whichever pharmacy has the rx transfer flavor of the week coupon. These are the nastiest most evil creatures in ALL creation and ALWAYS go out of their way to make EVERY person on staff miserable the ENTIRE time they are in the pharmacy.

7. Douche bags with "NO REFILL" on their bottle who think we are going to call their doc for refills and give them a gift card too. FU douchies!

I am sure there are others I forgot to mention but these are the top offenders who suck the life out of everyone and everything they encounter here in pharmacy-town.

This exorbitant waste of pharmacist payroll takes precious time away from the patients who really need us and have medical questions or need some advice on if they can perform some first aid MacGuyver action at home or need to race to the emergency room.

I am gonna put my foot down here and say it: "I didn't go to college for 6 years to be your gift card transfer b*tch!" I am gonna hassle each and every one of those people and refuse gift cards to all who don't qualify and give them the corporate complaint number so they can call and scream at someone else because I wouldn't give a gift card to a person on government funded health care because I won't break the law.

Seriously, McDruggies, do we even make enough money to further torture employees so you can get a big fat bonus at the end of the year? For that matter, do we even break even on that sh*t or should I just bend over and let everyone stick a finger in my a$$hole to let me know they care because at the end of the day the rx transfer gift card program totally mcsuckies!


Grumpy, M.D. said...

These giftcard programs are just wrong, and only lose money, piss off staff, and piss off patients.

Anonymous said...

Gotta agree 100 percent on the coupon whores. I have one who is on 3 drugs/hubby on 2. every other month between us and rite aid its a free coupon. When I tried to put a kybosh on it. I got written up

Anonymous said...

No kidding. I agree with you on all the awful people that will be walking in the door soon. I hate dealing with the confused patients who don't understand what a transferred prescription means. The small print cannot be any smaller! I'm about to slit my own wrists over these stupid catalina coupons.... at least Olivia Newton John is off the playlist this year....

The Redheaded Pharmacist said...

At some point in the not so distant past my current employer not only was doing these gift card promotions but also honoring competitor's coupons as well. That was just plain stupid and they lost a truckload of money and had to stop accepting competitor's coupons. Big suprise that idea didn't work out huh. And the kind of customers that you attract with those promotions are not eactly the kind of people you want anyway.

Anonymous said...

OMG, i hate people who bring in those stupid 25 dollar giftcards!!!! This one lady continuously brings in gift cards from different pharmacies like right aid and walgreens and expect us to honor it, which we do because she won't leave without that damn giftcard and will continue to take up our time and make our lifes miserable until she receives one. And tehre's this one guy who NEVER has a gift card coupon and will demand giftcards for his new rx anyways, which of course the pharmacy staff bends over and takes it and gives it to him after he complains to corporate!!! I want to throw the gift cards in their face like a shuriken!!!