Fever and chills: check!
Achy and sore: check!
Feeling beaten and left for dead: check!
Going to an all day concert: check!
Methinks I have a touch of the flu. Which flu, the world may never know. I figure since I am not having any difficulty breathing that it is not the much feared H1N1 or "hiney" virus as the stupid so lovingly call it.
So I went to my McDruggie's to get some Nyquil. I am not talking about the "store brand" with the slightly bad taste and the reformulated decongestant. I am talking the real deal, show your photo ID and sign to say you aren't making meth out of it, with the gut wrenching black death taste that gives you the same convulsion of repulsion as Jagermeister shots on a hot summer night, Nyquil.
I slept like the dead and it felt wonderful!
I am still achy and feel like crap but I am well rested and ready to test a theory. My partner pharmacist suggested going at it like a pirate: rum. I like to use Civil War medicine: whiskey or bourbon. So today I will use a combination of both plus a couple Motrin and a Centrum Performance vitamin.
Rock on! I will be completely germ sterile by the end of the day or I will be in the hospital tomorrow with liver damage, an active gastric ulcer, and an overactive flu virus that needs a Tamiflu beatdown. Either way I am gonna have a great time! Woo hoo!
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4 comments:
I got home from the concert and slept for 3 hours and am now W-I-D-E awake because my body thinks because it is dark I need to be at work. My germs have been sterilized.
I overheard a customer a couple weeks back who said that a mixture of Xanex and Soma do wonders for a plugged up nose.
Perhaps you should try that instead
There are so many things wrong with this post. I think the biggest issue I have is that you thought you had the flu and exposed people at a concert to your germs anyway.
It obviously wasn't the flu or I would have still been sick. Massive consumption of alcoholic beverages doesn't really kill "germs" it was meant as a joke. If I did have a severe form of flu I would put it to better use than contaminating things I like to do...
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