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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Here Comes Santa Clause!

A Santa pulled in to the drive thru at Mcdruggie's to get his diabetes meds. I guess all those cookies and milk finally got the best of him.

Come to think of it, Santa has become a sort of poster boy for the modern American.

He is morbidly obese.
He most likely has diabetes or a milder metabolic syndrome precursor.
He most likely has high cholesterol.
He most likely suffers from sleep apnea.
He might have to buy an extra seat on an airplane.
He might not be able to fit in some of the rides at Disney.
He probably has massively clogged arteries.
He probably has irregular bowels.
He probably hasn't seen his feet or his penis for quite some time.
He could end up on one of those 1-Ton man shows on the science channel.
He probably has recurrent fungal infections in each of his folds.
He might not even be able to put on his socks and boots without assistance.
...and the list goes on...

What's the point of this post? Nada. This is nothing more than the rambling holiday observations of a Grinchy poo pharmacist trapped in the land of misfit drugs so for Christmas my rag tag band of Mcdruggie's third shift cohorts and I shall indeed indulge in a multi-layer chocolate ganache confection so we can celebrate our holiday with a side of diabetes and be jolly like Santa. Ho ho ho, indeed!

***On a lighter note one of my readers has a brother who had an unfortunate date with a deer whilst riding a motorcycle. I am hoping that the "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" inspired torture ensues....


Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

LOVE the picture!! OMG Hilarious!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Yes, but does Santa also require Oxycontin and Soma?

Does he use Alli for the month before Xmas to try and get through chimneys? Is that why his pants are red?

And, while he's out riding his sleigh, who's Mrs. Claus riding?

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

Well Grumpy I don't have those answers but maybe a tabloid or something trashy and retarded like TMZ could find out for us.

miss kitten said...

i ran across your blog via dr grumpy's blog. i was reading all the posts quite happily till i got to the "here comes santa clause!" post.

i saw the photo. and i wept. again. you see, i knew him. he died five years ago. a week *before* christmas, as it happens. i loved him a great deal and it hurts like bloody hell every time i see that photo "but i pulled it from the web" posted somewhere. thank you for turning me off your blog and showing me that the milk of human kindness is very watered down.

funny...the word verification is bitocat. and that's what you just got.

a bit o what i think.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

If you really knew him and he is dead that is sad. This is but a minute snippet of a much larger photo which I thought had been edited enough that the face would not be recognized. Apparently the software that came with my computer is insufficient to hide facial features of others naughty pics that were posted on the web.

Any pic posted on the web is fair game for ridicule as we are a tabloid culture. I suggest in the future that if you or someone you know does not want to be open to such then you should not post naked pics on the web.