Oh how I love working the weekend. There's nothing quite like it. Here's a few examples that contribute to the slow demolition of my soul. The typical weekend shift starts out like this...I walk back to my cage, only to be greeted by at least two customers standing and staring at the closed pharmacy. Their eyes aglow and filled with a childlike anticipation, knowing that their vicodin is just on the other side of that closed gate. Here's the deal folks; you want to walk around the main store until the pharmacy OPENS and then come back and throw your prescription at me. This will make me hate you less and make your wait time only 30 minutes instead of the 45 i was planning to go with.
Sometime later that day, I'll get the call that makes me want to impale myself on the nearest pill counter. The person who wants me to transfer their prescriptions from another store. I have to take at least three deep breaths before I even say anything to you. There is nothing I hate more than having to call other pharmacies on the weekend because you are too lazy to get off your ass and go there before they close. Can I ask you something? How was obtaining the inhaler that you need to breath not priority one on your list for the day? "Well...let's see...big day ahead of me today, that's for sure...first, I figure I'll watch tv for about 4 hours, then I have to remember to slam my thumb in the car door so I can keep my workman's comp claim open...hmmm, what else...oh yeah, definitely watch some more tv, and then I guess if I have time I'll go pick up that inhaler that keeps me from dying." Awesome.
This leads us to my favorite part of the day: The last minute throng of regular customers who show up right before we close. We have been open for NINE hours people, and I know that you are fully aware. Where the hell have you been? It's really the perfect metaphor for your lives. Please don't wait until the last minute to do important things and then act like a child when you are once again confronted with the fact that the world does not revolve around you. You are not the Sun. I am not the Earth. In reality, you are on your own planet, where time does not exist and vicodin is the Sun. Look out for asteroids.