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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Public Restroom Shenanigans

Is no place sacred? Can an employee not pee in a clean restroom environ? Apparently not! Public Restroom Abuse is a long-standing wave of terror worthy of a visit from Homeland Security. Our restrooms are ritualistically violated by "patrons" who may or may not be making purchases.

Such violations in the women's room include:
1. stolen merchandise packages
2. used feminine products
3. fecal matter splatter
4. urine-soaked flooring
5. cigarette butts
6. grafitti

It is gross enough being a woman once a month. It would be fantastic if other women would have the courtesy and hygiene to dispose of these items properly.

Such violations in the men's room include:
1. stolen merchandise packages
2. fecal matter splatter
3. urine-soaked floor
4. cigarette butts
5. half-eaten McDonalds's sandwiches
6. hair-coloring (all over plus packaging)
7. grafitti
8. ejaculate and lube

Now, the ejaculate and lube was from a Friday night. One assistant manager stayed late to help face the store because it was only the overnight manager and myself to run the entire store. The late assistant told the overnight manager that a young guy had stolen some lube. The overnight manager had forgotten about it. While facing the lubricant aisle, he noticed a tube of Elbow-Grease lube was practically empty. The young man had squirted it into his palm and proceeded to the restroom for a one-man show. We know this because the overnight manager had gone to the restroom and saw the resultant puddle of ejaculate and lube near the toilet.

I want my own private restroom!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I used to work at a McPharmacy located just up the hill from downtown. One evening shortly before close (thank GOD we were not a 24-hr store)the evening manager was doing final checks before closing and caught a hooker giving her self a "bath" in the sink. And it wasn't her face she was washing.....

Mc RPh said...

Let's not forget about the lady who bought the Fleet's Dual Enema pack (no bag or receipt required). She was in quite a hurry, and damn near broke the stockroom door down on her way to finding the bathroom. How big of a hurry could you possibly be to self-administer an enema? I must have found the answer. I tried paging a manager, but working for *&^%$#$'s, there was nobody available. You know what, fuck 'em. I didn't have to clean it up. That will teach them to ignore my codes next time.

Stephanie said...

lmao when I was working as a tech we had two bathrooms. One was employee and one was customer. It was much better that way. I remember them closing the customer bathroom for a good long time because some guy decided it would be cool to go to the bathroom but take a shit on the floor.

Anonymous said...

women piss all over the seat like a cat too you know...

Anonymous said...

When I worked in retail the men's restroom would be terrible with puddles of piss all over the floor, and all over the toilet seat. I finally laminated a hugh sign and hung it directly above the toilet, where they couldn't miss it while standing there.

"We aim to present you with a sanitary restroom, your aim will help"

It actually did work, somewhat!

Anonymous said...

Just because one restroom is designated for patrons and the other for workers doesn't always work. Damn, dirty customers find the employee restroom then wreak havoc there too (I think they also tell their friends!)

Anonymous said...

My store manager asked the pharmacy (yes-pharmacists too!) to clean up the toilets. Can you believe that?? I took a digital picture of her shift calendar as proof and still am considering contacting the health dept. and board of pharmacy.