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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Bongs and dildos

I am beginning to think that anyone who owns a bong and/or a dildo could do my job. I love being treated like shit by a customer who just found out that their vicodin is NOT four bucks at Wal-mart (ha ha) and they have pharmacy hopped to find anyone that would "just fill" the vicodin and not the antibiotic on the script b/c they just spent 4 hours in the ER and 1 at McDonald's and probably a few more minutes chasing down a hooker to share the Vicodin with.
Don't pull up to the window with pillows of pot smoke pouring out of your window like you are some kind of white rapper on medicinal marijuana 2 minutes before we close and DEMAND we fill your prescription you've had for FIVE DAYS! Ladies-if your doctor gives you a prescription for a yeast infection mediction, do not lay around your home growing a loaf of bread for a week, then bitch b/c we have a 15 minute wait to just "slap a label on it". Slapping a label 101 was a very intense class that involved much use of the proper wrist technique. Besides, I have to slap labels on other people's medications b/c you are NOT the only sick person in the world!! Or at least coming into this pharmacy. Men-thank you for not knowing basic information such as your wife's date of birth, if you are the cardholder (translation: do you pay for the insurance with your paycheck), your address, your kid's dob's, etc. Thanks for holding up my line staring at me like I am a magic 8 ball. Everyone else-YES! We see that you went to the dentist! Stop bleeding on my counter, don't wipe the blood from your mouth onto the prescription and don't moan in pain in the waiting area hoping we will speed it up for you. Why didn't your dentist call the script in ahead of time? Am I the only genius around here? Speak to us nicely, gently hand the prescription over and accept the fact that when we give you a waiting time it is an estimate so don't roll your eyes, yell or fake a seizure to get your MEDICATION faster b/c it isn't a fucking pizza you are waiting on! And if you can't shut your mouth, stick a dildo in there or one of us will come over the counter and do it for you.
Love,
F

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg. that is exactly what i think every single day of my life.
you are my new idol

Mc RPh said...

Oh Filet, if it's not bongs with you, it's dildos.
xoxo

MrMadandBad said...

Same here.... I think that every day - and it only takes one customer to make me feel like that...

Though 98% of our customers are okay. It's the f**king ungrateful 2%!

Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

At least I am someone's idol and I am American! Ha ha