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Friday, October 30, 2009

Halloween Is Over

As I parked at McDruggie's the mighty, shirtless King Of Douche passed by with the shirtless Duke of Douche and his cousin the shirtless Earl of Douche and I knew this night would be a busted mess. Then I remembered that the time change happened at 2am...double whammy... I should have taken an unpaid day off to party...not to mention the gothically delicious full moon backed by clouds like something you would see in a Halloween cartoon chastising me for not following my dark side. And so it begins.

It was relatively quiet so we got warehouse totes put away then a call came in. My tech was laughing cuz he pretty much knew what I was going to say when he handed me the phone. A lady had a Levaquin 750mg stuck in her throat. On further questioning it was actually about half way down her esophagus so there was no danger of choking to death. She tried eating something, drinking something and gagging herself to no avail. She wanted ipecac but I haven't seen that in several months so it is probably on back order or no longer available so I told her the only other options were to continue drinking water, call the paramedics or go to the hospital. She opted to go to her doctor's house that was 2 doors down. I bet her doc was not ready for that "Trick or Treat" to show up on his doorstep. Want some candy, little girl?

I was reading an email about the decrease in controlled substances being filled and it reminded us that we are not to turn away every controlled substance that does not follow the new regulations in Florida. The law requires that the quantity must be written as a number and a word so as to prevent the temptation for a drug seeker to alter the numbers and we should call the doc offices to verify this. I fought the urge to send an email back letting them know that the decrease in controlled substance prescriptions was not due to this but due to many pill mill pain clinics being shut down and the refusal of many pharmacists to fill pain management rxs from similar clinics with patients from out of state. Hello, Mcfly?

Two older gentlemen with accents that place them as natives from the fjord lands were wanting to know if they could get Cialis, Levitra, or Viagra. I explained that in America you need a prescription for these items. They were disappointed but their accents reminded me of Alexander Skarsgard the sexy vampire Eric on True Blood and the only reason I watch the show... He would be my Trick and my Treat!

A real monster showed up in the form of shingles. It was not any shingles attack I had ever witnessed before. The guy's scalp and face were full of lesions and his left eye was extremely swollen. He was in severe pain and the ER had given him Demerol and gabapentin along with Valtrex. He had been given Demerol at the hospital 3 hours prior to his pharmacy visit and was still in great pain. I got them out in 5 minutes and advised him on when to start each med. He was happy to be leaving but noticed our sign for the shingles vaccine. He lamented that it would have been nice to know about the vaccine a few weeks ago.

It was sad but he reminded me of Sloth from the Goonies and that reminded me of high school. I had a friend who used to torture this guy because he was chubby and had a weird shaped skull so he kind of looked like Sloth. She would shove Baby Ruth wrappers through the slots in the top of his locker and whenever she saw him in the hall she would say "Baby Ruth...Sloth want Baby Ruth." I am actually surprised he didn't beat the crap out of her because that went on for several years. There was also a time in grade school when she had to apologize to a girl for making fun of her a lot because her hair was greasy and had a lot of dandruff so my friend would call her "fried chicken head." Misty water colored memories on the corners of my mind...

I also have to thank my boss for coming in and not making me stay for hour twelve due to the time change. One of his few redeeming qualities. So I got to go home and prepare to sit through the V marathon on Scyfy before the remake starts this week. So I leave you with this advice: If aliens show up that kind of look like us but talk funny we are gonna get eaten like snausages at a dog park!


Anonymous said...

Oral meperidine is not really recommended for effective pain relief. I hope the patient eventually had relief. And, I've felt a lot of guilt over the years recalling the hijinks I pulled on those in the depth of unpopularity. I was pretty unpopular, because I was both shy and a jerk, and sorry to say I did some mean and nasty things that speaks to one's capacity for devilment.

Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

Yeah you sound like an ass. Probably come to my pharmacy too. just dandy

Anonymous said...

Now I'll have to change the way I do scripts.

Cracky McCrackhead

Anonymous said...

Hey! I resemble that remark!!

Anonymous said...

Oh me, Oh my I think I have a sty, would you, could you give me some cherry pie? If you did, my dear sweet pharmacist friend, I would love you forever and forever and perhaps even more.

Tanman Lives

Vegancat said...

I am just a bit puzzled why you did not tell your dear friend to not bully others?

In other posts of yours you seem to be in the mind of helping others against douchbags and bullies but not when your friend did it to others?