So my store was doing a reset on the condom/sex lubricant section at the store and asked my overnight manager for suggestions. We thought the disposable plastic gloves, enemas, and sani-wipes were a good start but for the true "orgy" experience we also need to add painter's tarp (or yard size garbage bags), febreeze, paper towels, scented candles, and an advertisement for our discount card that covers Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis. We sell orgy fixins all the time. Hedonism and venereal diseases are alive and well in South Florida!
Speaking of venereal diseases.... I got to fill what is lovingly referred to as the "Oochie Koochie Special": 2gm Zithromax, 2gm Flagyl, 150mg Diflucan. It takes a special lady to get that trio and I am proud to say is something I never have and never will need because I use condoms and you should too!
I also got to make an "anal fissure cream." There are several different ones we make depending on the doctor's preference. The most common are nifedipine, diltiazem, and nitroglycerin creams. I giggle every time we make one and imagine what the patient did to rip open their anus. Was it a really huge dump? Was it overly eager anal sex? Was it some freak accident? So many possibilities!
Finally, the manager calls me around 5am to tell me that a homeless woman is sleeping between my car and the bushes around the store. He wanted to know if I wanted to call the police. I told him not to bother because she would probably leave when the buses start running again, which is what most of them do. She wasn't bothering anything and if she doesn't mind the rats that live under the bushes, sweet dreams. I told him he should have the police arrest Michael Bolton for the musical atrocities he committed against mankind that I have to be tortured with several times each work day. That would be a satisfying arrest, along with Hall & Oates, and various other "adult contemporary" artists that drive me to madness. Why don't I have any control over the music? Ugh, that is the worst part of the work day, trying to block out the easy listening.