We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Ionically Yours

Dear Caller,

Some days I am glad I wasted thousands of dollars taking chemistry and physics courses so you can call and ask me about ionic function on your hair dryer. Really? You didn't read the blurb on the box where it told you what the button did?

You probably bought it because it said this on the box:

Dries 50% faster with 1/2 the heat
Helps prevent split ends and frizzies
Makes your hair fuller, shinier and softer
Makes styling and drying your hair easy
Leaves hair healthier & more manageable
Preserves natural oils and seals in moisture
1875 Watts of drying power


Then you had to bother me because you did not read this on the box:

How does it work?

Charged ions delivered with warm air, break down water molecules, which are then easily absorbed by your hair.

Charged ions bond water droplets onto the hair shaft. Water molecules are broken down into 1/50 their normal size. Moisture is then easily absorbed by the hair shaft, making each one plumper & fuller.

The Ionic Hair Dryer was developed to help restore, fortify and beautify your hair. It emits millions of charged particles called ions that bond to your hair, breaking down moisture molecules with very little heat.

It utilizes 1/2 the heat in 1/2 the time leaving your hair up to twice as shiny as before. Your hair absorbs the smaller molecules and cell damage is reduced while nutrients are sealed inside each hair shaft. The moisturizing effect makes even thinner hair look fuller, shinier and softer.

I will tell you from experience that it does not deliver on the package's promise. I hope you did not waste an exorbitant amount of your hard earned money on this sales gimmick. If you did, I suggest returning it for a full refund or exchange for a nice regular hair dryer.

In the future I hope you will only present me with queries of a medical nature.

Ionically Yours,

Big N Tasty

2 comments:

The Ole' Apothecary said...

I read recently that CVS is pondering connection with the Massachusetts State Lottery. I then formed a nightmare in my mind: what if the company forced pharmacies to sell the tickets? I wouldn't put it past the blighters.

Emily said...

Haha. I have that hair dryer you described, and just bought one as a Christmas gift for my Mom. And now I know how the ionic thingy works. Sweet!
Love the blog =)