We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

I'm glad people can't hear my thoughts...

"I'm out of my birth control and the autorefill never called me!"

Brain: "Better pick it up soon, bitch, or your boyfriend won't be calling you either".

"I have nothing but problems with this pharmacy"

Brain: "Then, go somewhere else; how stupid are you? Who keeps coming back if they have only problems, seriously".

"I don't have $2 for the copay, can have some anyway?"

Brain: "What the fuck is wrong with you? Who doesn't carry $2 ? Just go to the fucking corner and beg for 4 seconds!"

"I'll have your job".

Brain: "So take it".

"I've been coming to this pharmacy for years".

Brain: "Yes, and we've wanted you to leave this whole time".

11 comments:

Scarlett said...

Autofil, sigh -what will WAG think of next to cater to the laziest slugs of the population? They invented drive-thru, autofill & express pay already. The next step would be where the techs make housecalls and jam the pills down these people's throats and get them a glass of H2O to go w/it.
I shouldn't joke like that. In the last bs-corpo email they were praising an asst manager who went to this woman's house and crushed her pills for her b/c her home health aide hadn't arrived yet. Oh, and these were filled at another pharmacy too.

Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

OMG that is sooo funny! We must share the same brain or something! I feel the SAME way.
Filet

Matt said...

One more for you:

Patient: "I'm never coming here again!"

Brain: "Can I have that in writing?"

vicodinfairy said...

Autofill is EVIL. I never, ever, ever recommend it because when it doesn't work, no one can say "YOU said my pills would fill when I need them!" Here's an idea...when your bottle is nearly empty, call for a refill! And when I say "nearly empty", I don't mean because you just put 3 weeks supply in a med box so the bottle is empty. I have several patients that I intentionally try to drive away...they always come back. Always. Pharmacy rule #1: If the patient says that the service sucks, that they never had a problem at Pharmacy X, that their insurance worked at Pharmacy X, that "every time" they come in they get a hassle...they will be a permanent thorn in your side FOREVER.

Patient: "I'm never coming here again"

Brain: AWESOME! Is it my birthday already?

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

My brain is a bit more devious and hateful. If anyone ever knew what it was really thinking I might be locked away in a rubber room with finger paints as my only companion.....

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

Oh yeah, the only place/service/person I have ever told I won't come here again (and I have not) was a cell phone provider that hit me with an excruciating overage and roaming charge back when cell phones were the size of a shoebox.

Pharmer Jane said...

I can never understand why people assume that because they didn't receive a phone call, the prescription isn't ready. There are no pills left in the bottle? Why wouldn't you assume it's at the pharmacy, or at least call to get the refill? "Hmm, the pharmacy didn't call, I must not need the pills anymore."

Mc RPh said...

Amen pharmer jane...

I've been yelled at more than once for people who have been out of their medication for a few days but never came in because they haven't received a call that their rx is ready. Are you fucking kidding me?

Pharmer Jane said...

People are stupid and don't want to take responsibility for themselves. It's the same reason people beg for a few pills for the weekend when they've already been out of meds for a few days. I want to say, "Why is it suddenly important if you've been out for 3 days already? What's 3 more days?"

Mc RPh said...

Patient: "Just a quick question..."
(which unfailingly consists of 20 essay format sub-questions)

Brain: "I really wish I could piss when I had to."

Anonymous said...

I love it when people say that they are never coming to your pharmacy again. Then later you see that they are going to the CRW down the street. Way to stick it to the man!