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*Charlie Sheen may cause an uncontrollable urge to snort hellacious amounts of cocaine, collect a harem of porn star goddesses, trash hotels, threaten exes, wreck cars, ruin your career, and sporadic bouts of public insanity.
*Limited time offer as production of Charlie Sheen may abruptly stop if PETA ever figures out where we keep the tigers, the Adonis DNA becomes contaminated, or our warlocks die.