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Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Dear customer/patient/dipshit standing at the counter with your mouth open or calling me again about your vicodin "subscription",

For the LOVE of sweet baby Jesus and Allah-you gotta start the conversation with your NAME!! I don't know who the fuzz you are if you don't give me a name!! Throw me a bone folks!!

My new fave thing to say to your people after you've rambled on why your refill is too early (you went to the moon again? yeeehaaaa) or your dog ate your vicodin (bring me your dog yo!) or why isn't it all your meds $4 (thanks for that, Wal-mart), is to say "let's start with your name". Total silence. I get nothing but total silence from you. Why is this? No one taught you to start a business transaction with your name? I don't have caller ID, you don't wear a name tag and by God, I am not psychic! Now give me your name and we can get somewhere. Pretty please? With Kadian sprinkles on top? Yeah-that got your atttention!!




Phathead said...

Hehe we used the term 'vicodan subscription' within two hours of one another

Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

oh yeah! i saw that! :)

great pharmacy nerd minds think alike!

McFury CPhT said...

Yep, or at the drive-thru "Hi, I'm here to pick up a prescription."

Me: "Okay.... who are you today?"

Ditto with the phone. Some people I do know their voice, others though, really, WHO ARE YOU?!

dlmatte said...

But you also get the opposite, customers comes to the cash and says "john smith", yes okay can you make a complete sentence and tell me what you want?

Anonymous said...

one of my customers comes up to the counter every time:

"hi im picking up..cialis"

He thinks when we say "whats the name?" that we are referring to the drug name. So before you can even ask, he just tells you.

Sorry, we don't categorize rx's in the waiting bin by drug type. Yup, here we place your "genetic subscriptions" by name. =)

Now let me force you to buy some upsell items so I don't get fired. Would you like some gummie worms with your simvastatin today?!

I just had to throw that one in there.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

I love it when people either mumble or have an accent that is thick enough that you offend them when you either ask them to spell it or write it down.

oleapothecary said...

I want my Vicodan subscription, no genetic, please, Mr. PHARMIST! Did you ever wonder if those who say "Vicodan" remember when "Percodan" was all the rage? Betcha they do.

I heard one person call them geriatric drugs, and that name works. Geriatric drugs save senior citizens money.

Then again, someone came in for their Qwell Lotion (I'm dating myself, huh?) and said they were picking up something for a case of "babies." No, can't use Qwell on a baby (grin).

FFP, you are not alone in experiencing the delay or omission omission of the person's name. I get that at work all the time from folks calling in to my department from other areas. I think it is because people outside the pharmacy simply think of the pharmacy as a vending machine, so they don't think we deserve common courtesy.

Also, the reverse is true when it comes to GETTING THE NAME OF THE PERSON WE SPOKE TO. Often times, having that name is key to solving a problem. By finding the source of an issue, you may prevent the issue from being badly distorted laer on.

Anonymous said...

So how about "I'm here to pick up the prescription for Bob"
Right, I only have ONE customer named BOB (or any other first-name-only that is supposed to help me find your Rx.)

Maybe if your name was Oprah...

Pharmacy's Good Guy said...

Had something very similar today:

'Hi can I pick up a prescription for Smith please?'
'What's your first name Mr Smith?'
'What do you need that for?'

Silly me, of course you're the only person in the whole of this city called Smith who gets prescriptions. I'll just grabb the first one I come across...