Dear customer/patient/dipshit standing at the counter with your mouth open or calling me again about your vicodin "subscription",
For the LOVE of sweet baby Jesus and Allah-you gotta start the conversation with your NAME!! I don't know who the fuzz you are if you don't give me a name!! Throw me a bone folks!!
My new fave thing to say to your people after you've rambled on why your refill is too early (you went to the moon again? yeeehaaaa) or your dog ate your vicodin (bring me your dog yo!) or why isn't it all your meds $4 (thanks for that, Wal-mart), is to say "let's start with your name". Total silence. I get nothing but total silence from you. Why is this? No one taught you to start a business transaction with your name? I don't have caller ID, you don't wear a name tag and by God, I am not psychic! Now give me your name and we can get somewhere. Pretty please? With Kadian sprinkles on top? Yeah-that got your atttention!!