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Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Some Pleasantries From Retail

*An extremely intoxicated older man comes in to ask me for something for his prostate because he is always "hard." I told him we didn't have anything for that and he should talk to a doc. He picked up a bottle of Prostaguard or some herbal hogwash and tried to get me to be his playmate because he had a big one and he loved white women and had some very colorful and unpleasant things to say about his fellow Jamaican womenfolk and their naughty parts that were offensive and not printable at this juncture. He also tried just as eloquently to entice the other girl working in the store that night. Strike one!

*An older latino gentleman came in to get Viagra. No rx but he said a nurse gave him an exam and told him it was okay to take Viagra. So the overnight manager and I explained several times that here we need an rx so he should go back to the clinic and get one. Then I had to work on an insurance audit. Strike two!

*A girl and her boyfriend used to come in late at night and she would always shoplift things like makeup, a hair dryer, etc. Both overnight managers kicked her out of the store several times. Apparently the boyfriend was clueless to her five finger discount. One morning she even came in to buy a yogurt and my manager gave her the boot. We don't tolerate thieves. He told me last night that he saw her arrested for crack possession on the Women COPs of Broward County show. Strike three!

And just like Doug, "I'm outta heee-ee-ee-re!"




(FYI: Doug is a character from the tv sketch comedy show The State. I love those guys..and girl!)

4 comments:

lizziestudors said...

Aah... The State. The only Tennessee Williams I could tolerate in high school...

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Shoplifters are dirt.

Why on Earth do people think it's okay to treat others like your first bozo?

If I did that I'd be sued and charged with sexual harassment, but this loser gets away with it.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

The night shift deals with the salt and the sh*t of the earth. I am such a lucky girl...

Anonymous said...

Carrrrrl....You're pissing off the customers, Carl.