We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Douches of the day. That's plural folks!

I am back bitches!! I felt really bad about Biggie floating the blog all this time so I thought I would finally write. Yeah right. She is just better at it than I am. :)

Recap for the day...

Sir patient douche bag yelled at me today b/c of the price of his Cialis medicine. He claimed it is much cheaper for him to buy his Cialis online. After a 10 minute staring contest, with me winning of course b/c I could care less where the hell he bought it from, he paid for the rx at my pharmacy and walked away whining like a 4 year old who heard the word "no" for the first time.

Mistress douchette yelled b/c she wanted a gift card for a rx she never transferred. Read the fine print bitch! Store manager caved. They both sucked the life out of me at that moment. Worse than the Twilight movie itself. Let me be clear here, Twilight tweens, Rob Pattison can suck me anytime. By the way Rob, my email is: IwantyourcuteyoungBritishbody@gmail.com

Dick douche, first cousin of first douche mentioned above, threw a fit b/c we "lost" his wife's prescription. Wouldn't you know it--it was at another pharmacy. I told Dick very loudly and stuck my chest out to boot NOT to raise his voice at me and he cowered! I guess I woman has never talked to him like that before. He was real nice when he came back today for his wife's med. Probably wants to buy me the Twilight poster, t-shirt and a date/dinner/somethin' else with Rob and Taylor.

ABC News "What would you do" featured a pharmacist lecturing a girl about buying Plan B. Yeah right. We don't really care who buys the shit b/c we don't want to pay for one more kid on the caid (Medicaid). In fact, I wish it was BOGO and in our water and in gum ball machines, sprinkled on pizza, complimentary with purchase of the Twilight DVD (email me Rob. you won't regret it), etc. You get my drift. BUT OH WAIT-I guess their are some tardo rph's out there who don't understand how it works and freak out on these poor kids who just want to take some responsibility (after the act) and get on with their life. JUST DANCE is what I want ABC and the EC rph's to know. You know who you are...

Baby douche's parents let baby D. crap all over herself while waiting for their rx to be filled and for someone to walk a pack of smokes back to their pharmacy. First class, all the way. Some days you are baby douche (shitty, crabby, hateful), some days you are the smokes (hateful, stinky and cancerous to the public).

Fuck 'em!



Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

My options for ghost writer posts included letting the "octomom" give a tutorial on turning your vagina into a clown car or letting the "sham-wow" guy demonstrate how much blood, vomit, and feces the "Sham-wow" can absorb. It is probably for the best that you finally posted!

Anonymous said...

I fucking hate the octo-mom. She is such a drain on society. Give those kids up beotch