We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Cruel Intentions

I filled in at another store last night on the overnight. The last few times I worked there went smooth. I intended to sketch out the idea for a blog entry extolling admiration for the microscopic and sometimes deadly spirochete. Instead of the Stepford-like automaton function I intended to perform all night, I was greeted with a very disorganized rx disaster and a feeling of impending doom that could be the forebear of an ischemic event.

Phones ring and ring.
Cars honk.
New orders come in from the ER.
Piles of labels lay untouched.
Bottles of drugs occupy every inch of counter space.
Finished rx hard copies overflow from the file sorter.
People keep coming in and calling.
Everyone else in the pharmacy has gone home.
Labels keep printing and printing and p-r-i-n-t-i-n-g and P-R-I-N-T-I-N-G....

Then silence.
My sanity has cracked.
I have to fix this mess.....

Step 1: iPOD to the rescue!

Retail music sucks! I whip out my trusty musical robot friend and attempt to reclaim my sanity while I wrestle with the giant paper beast that threatens my very existence.

Step 2: Take a memo!

I gingerly part with my musical mojo long enough to take the messages that have been resting in the furthest reaches of the voicemail-space-time-continuum. With my purple gel-ink they take shape on perfect white rectangular canvases, each one an artistic representation of healing waiting to begin.

Step 3: Type O Negative (it came up on random, kinda like lil'-i was thinking of helping me out...)

I hammer the keyboard like I am setting each nail of the paper beast's coffin. Peter Steele's moaning plants fear in it's heart and the paper beast rustles with excitement of the attack tempered with uncertainty of its victory.

Step 4: Snowballing

The paper beast grows larger with every order entered and verified. It bares massive paper claws and takes a swipe at my delicate silky skin. Flesh parts and a perfect drop of my blood is spilled upon the counter. Like a slow-motion shot in a great noir, I watch it drift downward in mournful disbelief.

Step 5: Get it Together!

I take a step back to clean the damage and snarl in rage at the paper beast. I fall back to reinvigorate and nourish. Revenge! (>>>Thanks are in order for my other sidekick, Pepsi Max. Extra caffeine and ginseng is a bouncing-off-the-walls, teeth-chattering dream...)

Step 6: The Pharmacist Strikes Back!

I use my newfound energy to fill, fill, fill! Pills are going into labeled vials in record time and numbers! Layer upon layer of the paper beast is ripped away until it is decimated like a bag of Pull'N Peel Twizzlers (yummy). Files are put away and compounds are made.

The beast has been defeated and I stand to fight another day! The pen is far mightier than the sword when you are trapped in a little room all night...typing more than 60 words per minute helps too...


DanTech said...

You filled everything correctly? Dotted every "i" and crossed every "t"?

I used to work with a pharmacist that on days when pandemonium was the soup of the day would say when we closed "I hope I didn't kill anybody."

These crazy, stressful, and terrible days are becoming more and more common.

LiL said...

"... with a pharmacist that on days when pandemonium was the soup of the day would say when we closed "I hope I didn't kill anybody."

[* As a patient & customer, that is a truly frightening statement. *]


Anonymous said...

i love reading your posts! :)

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

No errors yet, although I did reject one rx and realized it was correct when I went back to retype it. Sometimes a magnifying glass is a miracle to behold.

Anonymous said...

I've never imagined a night in a pharmacy with Peter Steele in the background belting his morbid lyrics...the freaks come out at night, and I like it!!! Crank up Black No. 1 and see how the old people react....

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

It was on iPod so only I could here Peter. They do make the crazies work overnights, though...

Anonymous said...

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