Another Thanksgiving is rolling through and I want everyone in the United States to think about a few simple things.
1. No matter how much you complain about copays and having to sit in a waiting room for an extended amount of time to see your doctor to get a prescription be thankful that you have access to health care and medications.
2. In the event that something goes tragically wrong you can dial 911 and have police, fire, or emergency medical support in a matter of minutes (in most areas).
3. Public sanitation, indoor plumbing, and water treatment facilities all prevent disease by taking away waste that can contaminate your living environment, drinking water, and draw pest infestation.
4. Despite the punditry bullshit you hear about this being a "Christian" nation on television, you have the freedom to practice any religion that fits your spiritual needs but does not encroach on the freedoms or well being of others.
5. Routine vaccinations protect you from horrible diseases. You may not think this is important because we don't see these diseases on a regular basis but with world wide travel and shipping we are going to be exposed to these diseases and have had incidents of preventable disease run rampant in unvaccinated populations.
6. You have access to unlimited amounts of almost every food you could possibly ever want to eat and more. My aunt and uncle had a Russian foreign exchange student living with them. He wept openly the first time he walked into a grocery store. There is more food in each single supermarket here than most people see in a lifetime in other countries.
7. You have the right to keep a gun in your home and pop a cap in the ass of any douche bag that thinks he/she can snatch your stuff with no consequences.
8. You can type or speak or peaceably gather to let the powers that be know your frustrations and opinions on what they are doing.
9. Our welfare people live better than Chinese factory workers.
10. We have lower income taxes than most industrialized nations.
11. If you have a roof over your head, a job, money in your pocket and money in the bank then you are in the upper 8% of the wealthiest people in the world.
12. Our library system gives you tomes of entertainment and education information just for being a resident. It is free unless you forget to return the book in its allotted time...those fees add up...
13. Each and every one of us is guaranteed up to a 12th grade education. You can use this opportunity to better yourself or just piss it away. It is entirely up to you.
Thank you America! Even with all our problems you still f*cking rock when it comes to quality of life and being the land of plenty and if I was a citizen of another nation you can be f*cking sure I would be an illegal immigrant by any means necessary just to peruse your grocery stores!
For all of my holiday travelers, don't forget to pack medications in your carry on luggage!!! For all of my diabetic patients, please try not to over do it and make sure to have extra insulin on hand because you might need to go a little higher on your sliding scale this Thursday if you do.
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Follow Through
I posted a comment for the "Darwin Award of the Month" blog entry that apparently pissed someone off. Filet didn't want to post it but I am going to comment on it because I laughed my ass off when I read it. For those of you who didn't read the post it was about a pharmacist who failed rehab and was busted passing fake rxs for narcotics for personal use. My comment was as follows:
See...rehab doesn't work 99.9% of the time. I just call junkies Lindsays...as in Lindsay Lohan...and damn that douche bag to hell (if there is one) for besmirching the title of pharmacist. I hope someone in prison shanks him!
So someone using the title Peacemaker had this to say:
Big & Tasty...What a lame screen name...You would be popular in the prison system. You are full of yourself, intellectually stunted at best, and write things that at least should get YOU shanked for stupidity, and at best are not even the least bit humorous. I would say that before you start quoting %'s about drug rehab, you should reread your code of ethics as a pharmacist. Assuming you are one, I am guessing that you probably sell weed out in the WalMart parking lot, and therefore consider yourself a pharmacist. I would begin a battle of whits with your dumb ass, but as the saying goes, it would be unair as you are clearly unarmed.
My response:
1. Big & Tasty is a fun name for a blog called FAST FOOD Pharmacy because it is an item off the McDonald's fast food menu. You also probably didn't read our blog mission statement.
2. I would be extremely popular in the prison system because I have double D's and can do some fun tricks with my tongue.
3. I have found different rehab centers have different statistics for failure. Once an addict, always an addict. Rehabs just train you to exchange your "bad" addiction for a "socially acceptable" addiction such as methadone, benzodiazepines, cigarettes, alcohol, macrame, suboxone, etc.
4. I follow the Pharmacist's code only when I wear the white coat and fight the good fight at the Pharmacy. When I am in my civilian life I can say and do whatever I want. When I blog I still leave out names and places for patient privacy but like to vent about the situations and people I deal with on a regular basis rather than "Go Postal" and pop some caps in some asses.
5. I think junkies are the shit of the earth falling somewhere below welfare scammers and somewhere above child molesters.
6. I have a Bachelors in Pharmaceutical Science and have passed all examinations necessary for licensure in two states. I am a legitimate pharmacist, not a hustler.
7. I do not expect people to like me or find my thoughts humorous. I expect people to take what I say with whatever gravitas they want it to have. I am neither savior nor comedian, only one voice amongst thousands of bloggers. I like to read all commentary, especially if it is critical or asinine.
8. I feel the battle of wits would be more humorous for me as I rarely take people seriously when they lash out with hostility. I do wonder if you are Mr. Maister from the article or maybe a close associate of his? It would explain the hostility or maybe you just wanted to audition to be the "Jenny tail" for my human centipede?
To quote a really crappy movie for all who like to comment "Bring it on!"
See...rehab doesn't work 99.9% of the time. I just call junkies Lindsays...as in Lindsay Lohan...and damn that douche bag to hell (if there is one) for besmirching the title of pharmacist. I hope someone in prison shanks him!
So someone using the title Peacemaker had this to say:
Big & Tasty...What a lame screen name...You would be popular in the prison system. You are full of yourself, intellectually stunted at best, and write things that at least should get YOU shanked for stupidity, and at best are not even the least bit humorous. I would say that before you start quoting %'s about drug rehab, you should reread your code of ethics as a pharmacist. Assuming you are one, I am guessing that you probably sell weed out in the WalMart parking lot, and therefore consider yourself a pharmacist. I would begin a battle of whits with your dumb ass, but as the saying goes, it would be unair as you are clearly unarmed.
My response:
1. Big & Tasty is a fun name for a blog called FAST FOOD Pharmacy because it is an item off the McDonald's fast food menu. You also probably didn't read our blog mission statement.
2. I would be extremely popular in the prison system because I have double D's and can do some fun tricks with my tongue.
3. I have found different rehab centers have different statistics for failure. Once an addict, always an addict. Rehabs just train you to exchange your "bad" addiction for a "socially acceptable" addiction such as methadone, benzodiazepines, cigarettes, alcohol, macrame, suboxone, etc.
4. I follow the Pharmacist's code only when I wear the white coat and fight the good fight at the Pharmacy. When I am in my civilian life I can say and do whatever I want. When I blog I still leave out names and places for patient privacy but like to vent about the situations and people I deal with on a regular basis rather than "Go Postal" and pop some caps in some asses.
5. I think junkies are the shit of the earth falling somewhere below welfare scammers and somewhere above child molesters.
6. I have a Bachelors in Pharmaceutical Science and have passed all examinations necessary for licensure in two states. I am a legitimate pharmacist, not a hustler.
7. I do not expect people to like me or find my thoughts humorous. I expect people to take what I say with whatever gravitas they want it to have. I am neither savior nor comedian, only one voice amongst thousands of bloggers. I like to read all commentary, especially if it is critical or asinine.
8. I feel the battle of wits would be more humorous for me as I rarely take people seriously when they lash out with hostility. I do wonder if you are Mr. Maister from the article or maybe a close associate of his? It would explain the hostility or maybe you just wanted to audition to be the "Jenny tail" for my human centipede?
To quote a really crappy movie for all who like to comment "Bring it on!"
Friday, November 12, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Flu Vaccine Query
I know this has little or no relevance medically but I am curious to know what Vegans have to say about the flu vaccine being cultured in chicken eggs. I already know that PETA frowns upon this.
I have no problem with it because I believe that whatever I eat I can wear or use. For example I like eating beef so that gives me the right to wear leather but I still have issue with people who wear fur because I know you motherf*ckers aren't eating the animals that the fur came from. It is a waste not, want not approach to carnivorous endeavors. Some people have issue with eating animals no matter what but I want to know how they feel about using chicken eggs to grow vaccines.
Seriously, I am super curious to know. What's your opinion?
I have no problem with it because I believe that whatever I eat I can wear or use. For example I like eating beef so that gives me the right to wear leather but I still have issue with people who wear fur because I know you motherf*ckers aren't eating the animals that the fur came from. It is a waste not, want not approach to carnivorous endeavors. Some people have issue with eating animals no matter what but I want to know how they feel about using chicken eggs to grow vaccines.
Seriously, I am super curious to know. What's your opinion?
Saturday, October 23, 2010
File under "Are you kidding?!"
"Drive-throughs aren't just for burgers.
Five Bon Secours sites will offer drive-through flu shots Saturday, Oct. 16, from 9 a.m. until noon or until supplies run out.
More than 700 residents rolled down their car windows and rolled up their sleeves last year for Bon Secours Hampton Roads' drive-through clinics. "
If you think I am not serious, check it out. I can't wait until corporate pharmacy follows along with this *brilliant* idea.
Five Bon Secours sites will offer drive-through flu shots Saturday, Oct. 16, from 9 a.m. until noon or until supplies run out.
More than 700 residents rolled down their car windows and rolled up their sleeves last year for Bon Secours Hampton Roads' drive-through clinics. "
If you think I am not serious, check it out. I can't wait until corporate pharmacy follows along with this *brilliant* idea.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
So You've Made A Human Centipede (First Sequence)
So you've made a human centipede. Now that you have achieved your ultimate creature creation and almost clinched that position with the Legion of Doom I need to let you in on the expensive and tedious upkeep of your new "pet."
(If you are confused at this point, Human Centipede First Sequence is an independent horror flick about a German doctor who was internationally famous for separating Siamese twins. He retired to his own demented experiment: linking animals or people anus to mouth to form a "centipede". You really should watch it. I found it hilarious, creepy, and inspirational while not being terribly graphic or a gore fest.)
* Each segment will need an open port for medications, fluids and parenteral nutrition. The port will need to be placed where it will be hard for the free arms of the 'pede to pull it out. You may even need some form or restraint that allows arms movement for walking but not enough movement to reach out and damage itself or others.
* Antibiotic therapy. You have essentially linked a rectal cesspool of bacterial activity to a human mouth & throat which leaves many opportunities for disaster. You will need serious antibiotic therapy for several months while the GI tracts "merge" and the surgical wounds heal.
* Antacids and anti emetics. "Segments" will need antacid therapy to prevent ulceration of the merging GI tracts while the anti emetic will prevent the risk of aspiration pneumonia if a "segment" regurgitates when the segment in front of it defecates.
* You will need to assess the fluid, caloric, and vitamin needs of each "segment" and fulfill them with parenteral nutrition. The merging GI tracts will not function at normal capacity and will need time to heal. You will also have to start with an oral liquid diet and slowly work up to solids as the healing continues. It would be such a waste if your creation died from malnutrition before it was even completely healed. Even after healing the middle and tail segments may need parenteral supplementation in order to maintain health.
* You will need to flush the ports on a regular basis to prevent bacterial growth and "crust" that could lead to a potentially fatal blood clot. The loss of one segment could be devastating for the 'pede as a whole.
* Mental health. It is going to be a task of Herculean proportion to get each "segment" to perform and succumb to the will of the whole. Humans tend to be stubborn and their will to survive unstoppable. It may take many weeks of benzodiazepines and antidepressants to bend the will of the "segments" to become the "whole." If you want to go a faster route I would recommend frontal lobotomy for all but the lead segment. Your 'pede will be easier to train when lucid.
* Housebreaking. Since each segment will need to urinate housebreaking will be essential to a cohesive and happy home environment. Cage training is the easiest. Follow the same procedure as if you were housebreaking a dog. Otherwise you will have to devise a diaper to fit the new configuration of the back end with exception of the tail "segment" which should do just fine with Depends.
* Hygiene. Since some of your "segments" are female you might want to give hormone therapy to prevent menstruation or consider hysterectomy to prevent a bloody mess each month. You will also have to bathe your 'pede on a regular basis and use deodorant for underarms.
* You will need to design a "shoe" to protect the dragging parts below the knees and to cushion the knees which will be supporting the brunt of the weight. It may even be necessary for amputation below the knee to prevent issues with poor circulation and blood clotting.
As you can see it isn't enough to just create the human centipede but to carefully and expensively care for your centipede to make it a happy, healthy, show-stopping part of your demented genius that would make even Mary Shelley proud to witness.
(If you are confused at this point, Human Centipede First Sequence is an independent horror flick about a German doctor who was internationally famous for separating Siamese twins. He retired to his own demented experiment: linking animals or people anus to mouth to form a "centipede". You really should watch it. I found it hilarious, creepy, and inspirational while not being terribly graphic or a gore fest.)
* Each segment will need an open port for medications, fluids and parenteral nutrition. The port will need to be placed where it will be hard for the free arms of the 'pede to pull it out. You may even need some form or restraint that allows arms movement for walking but not enough movement to reach out and damage itself or others.
* Antibiotic therapy. You have essentially linked a rectal cesspool of bacterial activity to a human mouth & throat which leaves many opportunities for disaster. You will need serious antibiotic therapy for several months while the GI tracts "merge" and the surgical wounds heal.
* Antacids and anti emetics. "Segments" will need antacid therapy to prevent ulceration of the merging GI tracts while the anti emetic will prevent the risk of aspiration pneumonia if a "segment" regurgitates when the segment in front of it defecates.
* You will need to assess the fluid, caloric, and vitamin needs of each "segment" and fulfill them with parenteral nutrition. The merging GI tracts will not function at normal capacity and will need time to heal. You will also have to start with an oral liquid diet and slowly work up to solids as the healing continues. It would be such a waste if your creation died from malnutrition before it was even completely healed. Even after healing the middle and tail segments may need parenteral supplementation in order to maintain health.
* You will need to flush the ports on a regular basis to prevent bacterial growth and "crust" that could lead to a potentially fatal blood clot. The loss of one segment could be devastating for the 'pede as a whole.
* Mental health. It is going to be a task of Herculean proportion to get each "segment" to perform and succumb to the will of the whole. Humans tend to be stubborn and their will to survive unstoppable. It may take many weeks of benzodiazepines and antidepressants to bend the will of the "segments" to become the "whole." If you want to go a faster route I would recommend frontal lobotomy for all but the lead segment. Your 'pede will be easier to train when lucid.
* Housebreaking. Since each segment will need to urinate housebreaking will be essential to a cohesive and happy home environment. Cage training is the easiest. Follow the same procedure as if you were housebreaking a dog. Otherwise you will have to devise a diaper to fit the new configuration of the back end with exception of the tail "segment" which should do just fine with Depends.
* Hygiene. Since some of your "segments" are female you might want to give hormone therapy to prevent menstruation or consider hysterectomy to prevent a bloody mess each month. You will also have to bathe your 'pede on a regular basis and use deodorant for underarms.
* You will need to design a "shoe" to protect the dragging parts below the knees and to cushion the knees which will be supporting the brunt of the weight. It may even be necessary for amputation below the knee to prevent issues with poor circulation and blood clotting.
As you can see it isn't enough to just create the human centipede but to carefully and expensively care for your centipede to make it a happy, healthy, show-stopping part of your demented genius that would make even Mary Shelley proud to witness.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Lock It Up, Lock It Down!
I have seen it all. It used to be that people would just steal condoms, pregnancy tests, maybe a snack or soda, items to be used in illegal substance abuse, etc. I worked at a store that has to lock up infant formula, electric toothbrushes, body wash, shampoo, Tide laundry detergent, some makeup & skin care items and a whole slew of other items...
All night long the overhead pager rang out with "security scan all aisles" and it was just as annoying and much less amusing than the muzak. They also have a mix of off duty police and security officers most of the afternoon and all night long. They even have a special parking space reserved by the front door for police emergency. Those spaces aren't just at Target and the grocery store anymore...
The best thefts I know of were at the store I worked in as a student. For several months there was a small TV/VCR combo sitting on the cosmetics counter spouting its advertiserial poison. Then there was silence. For a few weeks no one really noticed that it was gone. Someone had stolen it during the overnight shift and nobody really noticed...or for that matter missed it.
Another time around X-Mas a lady walked out of the store with 2 perfume sets that set off the alarm. When the security guard nabbed her she was like "Well I don't want them now." Thinking she wasn't going to get arrested. Merry X-Mas b*tch, you goin' to jail.
On a separate X-Mas promo end stand we had TVs and DVD players chained to the shelf. Some ballsy motherf*cker walked out with the shelf, TV, DVD, and chain. You sir have mad street cred for that one! Did I forget to mention he never got caught? Well he didn't hence the street cred.
Back to the store at hand. I also got several calls from city corrections officers to verify medications for detainees. None of the people they called on were in our system. What do these douche bags think? "Maybe if I tell the officer I have Klonopin for seizures I can get some happy pills for my incarceration." N.O. If we have nothing on file for you the department of corrections is not going to magically make drugs appear for your enjoyment. In fact, I believe the officer you annoy with your stupid little game should get to b*tch slap you once for each time you lie. Ugh! Just another day of our taxpayer dollars being wasted.
When does it stop?
All night long the overhead pager rang out with "security scan all aisles" and it was just as annoying and much less amusing than the muzak. They also have a mix of off duty police and security officers most of the afternoon and all night long. They even have a special parking space reserved by the front door for police emergency. Those spaces aren't just at Target and the grocery store anymore...
The best thefts I know of were at the store I worked in as a student. For several months there was a small TV/VCR combo sitting on the cosmetics counter spouting its advertiserial poison. Then there was silence. For a few weeks no one really noticed that it was gone. Someone had stolen it during the overnight shift and nobody really noticed...or for that matter missed it.
Another time around X-Mas a lady walked out of the store with 2 perfume sets that set off the alarm. When the security guard nabbed her she was like "Well I don't want them now." Thinking she wasn't going to get arrested. Merry X-Mas b*tch, you goin' to jail.
On a separate X-Mas promo end stand we had TVs and DVD players chained to the shelf. Some ballsy motherf*cker walked out with the shelf, TV, DVD, and chain. You sir have mad street cred for that one! Did I forget to mention he never got caught? Well he didn't hence the street cred.
Back to the store at hand. I also got several calls from city corrections officers to verify medications for detainees. None of the people they called on were in our system. What do these douche bags think? "Maybe if I tell the officer I have Klonopin for seizures I can get some happy pills for my incarceration." N.O. If we have nothing on file for you the department of corrections is not going to magically make drugs appear for your enjoyment. In fact, I believe the officer you annoy with your stupid little game should get to b*tch slap you once for each time you lie. Ugh! Just another day of our taxpayer dollars being wasted.
When does it stop?
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