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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Lock It Up, Lock It Down!

I have seen it all. It used to be that people would just steal condoms, pregnancy tests, maybe a snack or soda, items to be used in illegal substance abuse, etc. I worked at a store that has to lock up infant formula, electric toothbrushes, body wash, shampoo, Tide laundry detergent, some makeup & skin care items and a whole slew of other items...

All night long the overhead pager rang out with "security scan all aisles" and it was just as annoying and much less amusing than the muzak. They also have a mix of off duty police and security officers most of the afternoon and all night long. They even have a special parking space reserved by the front door for police emergency. Those spaces aren't just at Target and the grocery store anymore...

The best thefts I know of were at the store I worked in as a student. For several months there was a small TV/VCR combo sitting on the cosmetics counter spouting its advertiserial poison. Then there was silence. For a few weeks no one really noticed that it was gone. Someone had stolen it during the overnight shift and nobody really noticed...or for that matter missed it.

Another time around X-Mas a lady walked out of the store with 2 perfume sets that set off the alarm. When the security guard nabbed her she was like "Well I don't want them now." Thinking she wasn't going to get arrested. Merry X-Mas b*tch, you goin' to jail.

On a separate X-Mas promo end stand we had TVs and DVD players chained to the shelf. Some ballsy motherf*cker walked out with the shelf, TV, DVD, and chain. You sir have mad street cred for that one! Did I forget to mention he never got caught? Well he didn't hence the street cred.

Back to the store at hand. I also got several calls from city corrections officers to verify medications for detainees. None of the people they called on were in our system. What do these douche bags think? "Maybe if I tell the officer I have Klonopin for seizures I can get some happy pills for my incarceration." N.O. If we have nothing on file for you the department of corrections is not going to magically make drugs appear for your enjoyment. In fact, I believe the officer you annoy with your stupid little game should get to b*tch slap you once for each time you lie. Ugh! Just another day of our taxpayer dollars being wasted.

When does it stop?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Way to go Big'N'Tasty! Why on Earth should you dispense prescription medication to scumbags that don't have prescriptions for it, even if the scumbags were paying for it themselves? They're already in jail for breaking laws, you certainly don't need to join them.

If I had.a say in the matter: nothing stronger in jail than aspirin or acetaminophen, unless the inmate has valid prescriptions, in which case, said inmate would be confined to medical isolation cells, having no contact with other inmates. All meds would be injected, IV, or oral suspensions to prevent pill hoarding.