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Friday, July 17, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Socialized Medicine Won't Fly In America

10. HMO's and PPO's would go out of business and leave thousands without jobs.

9. Prior Authorization would be the new "Gold Standard" for prescriptions.

8. No more free drug logo pens from Big Pharma.

7. Private practice physicians would no longer be able to afford McMansions with gold lined swimming pools.

6. One nurse for every 100 hospital patients.

5. Dentists will be limited to an x-ray machine and a Dremel.

4. Bye bye mid-life crisis Ferrari California convertible. Hello bicycle.

3. NASCAR bids a teary farewell to the Viagra car.

2. Soylent green is made of people.

1. Duct tape makes an awesome Band-Aid!


Anonymous said...

A. That describes much of medicine as we know it now
B. G-d help Canada, England, France...

Anonymous said...

all of this talk about how true health care for all will destroy the nation is absurd. The rest of the industrialized world is working with government run healthcare and they are fine. I agree about the gold lined swimming pools and the sports car, but lets all be resonable. The health insurance companies have had plenty of time to do the right thing, but chose to have short term profits above all else. Now they are going to have to face the music and make it sound as if the country will come crashing down. The rest of the world makes it work, so why can't we. Doctors should be there to help people, not to just get rich. And doctor's will still be able to afford a private practice and run a business. My wife cannot switch her insurance since she has a condition that requires hospital treatments every 3 months. If we were to switch hers, she would have to wait 18 months in order to receive treatment under the insurance, which is disgusting that this is allowed to happen this way. I can't afford insurance since we have to pay for hers at an astronomical rate.

Anonymous said...

*snickers*... Soylent green is made of people... Oh, the joy that line brings to my brain...

Grumpy, M.D. said...

They don't give us free pens since 1/1/09, anyway.

I'm in private practice, and know a lot of other docs who are. We are all working 80 hours per week just to keep our practices opens. None of us have McMansions or goldlined swimming pools. My car is a 10 year old Nissan, and most of the others drive similar cars.

Anonymous said...

One hilarious post...however the premise is a bit of an exaggeration, don't think we're onto socialism, yet. Looking forward to something more 'American' (fair, with less disparity) in the upcoming future.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

The whole point was to be over exaggerative exactly like the doomsayers in the news and in Congress that make socialized medicine look like the end of the universe because they couldn't possibly part with another 1% of their retardedly overblown incomes to help the middle class and poor out. Frankly, I already never see 45% of my income between taxes, social security, FICA, and retirement funding because I am single with no dependents. I would like to see my tax dollars go to something worthwhile like healthcare instead of funding prisons (execution is a fantastic money saver with DNA tech making false imprisonments drastically decrease...especially those disgusting pedophiles), NASA (do we really need to spend billions of dollars on a space toilet when our sewer systems here need an overhaul?), grandiose 4th of July fireworks displays (I love my country and a good party but this is getting retarded), "Congressional business travel expenses" (make those greedy bastards telecommute...we have the technology...not to mention that they take their families and some have used that tax money for hookers, botox, and lasic...where are my hookers and cosmetic procedures?? Hmm??), etc. We should revamp our nation to be like Denmark. They seem to be doing just fine and everyone has healthcare and gets a college education. Anyone in Denmark want an intelligent sarcastic American bride? Just checking.

Andrea said...

#3- State and federal plans don't cover Viagra now, and I don't see much of a change happening now. Medicaid patients (the ones who waive their copays) will still manage to find cash to pay for their Viagra, and the others whose insurance limits them to 4 or 6 tabs per month will still walk to the counter, hold up two fingers, and we will have their cash rx for #2 tablets filled promtly.
It's scary- most of these guys pick up their prescription more regularly than women on birth control!