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Monday, October 8, 2007

Late Night Priapism

I had a gentleman caller concerned about a Viagra induced priapism (extremely long -lasting painful erection). What started out with an "embarassed" query became phone sex all too quickly. I am a medical professional not a hooker. I believe you dialed the wrong number to get your rocks off. I may be a pervert in my personal life but I am not while wearing the magic white jacket of a professional pill pusher.

I am not paid by the minute to talk dirty to you. I did find it hysterically funny when you asked if you came in and showed it to me if I could do anything for you. I would have laughed at you because I had already told you there was nothing I would be able to do for it, perhaps you should try some form of sexual activity or the emergency room. I had to hang up on you when you asked if I like to suck dick. I am not going there at work. The last time I saw anything near the penis in the pharmacy was a guy that pulled his pants down to show me what appeared to be syphillitic lesions. I told that guy to get an antibiotic from his doctor a.s.a.p. because there was no over the counter cream to treat his lesions and his problem would get worse without treatment (ew).

This caller has a history. The last few times he called it was because his "girlfriend" was using Nuvaring. He wanted to know why it made her horny because she wanted sex all the time. Quite frankly, I think you aren't getting any lovin' and that is why you are calling me at 3AM looking for a stimulating voice to wank off to. Well sir, you can fire away all you want with those knuckle children of yours, but please don't bother the pharmacist unless you have a legitimate concern that requires immediate medical attention.


LD50 Rat said...

The jaw drop was for the guy showing you his lesions. (hurl) The old guy
is gross and annoying, the gentleman with the oozing penis is mind boggling. Monkeys have more sense.
LD/50 Rat

Carol said...

Ick. Another indignity Viagra has inflicted on the world.

Anonymous said...

well if you were at walgreens you could have directed him upfront to one of the manager's who would have certainly provided him oral in the name of customer service, and then given him his money back for the inconvenient trip.

Anonymous said...

soooo glad I'm not doing the retail gig anymore..there is not enough $$ out there to pay me to do 3rd shift & put up with that kind of b.s.

PharmGal said...

oh my gosh....I can't even imagine someone would do that. yuck. people are so psycho.

Anonymous said...

Night shift anywhere; retail or hospital. Someone down in ER or maybe it was a direct line from outside, but we used to get calls at the hospital from the young guy whose caretaker was out for the evening. He wanted a detailed description of how to put his Attends on. Maybe, okay, maybe perverted. Tried to make it as matter-of-fact as possible.

Really never tried to let any of the outside calls bother me except the college kids that wanted to know how long THC took to get out of their systems, or those that wanted to OD on something and were trying to give me all sorts of excuses to go through with it. (Had previous experience in nursing, so gave patients pretty much benefit of the doubt. Like those folks that wanted their verbal jollies--pictured them as patients with diabetes that had let time and elevated blood glucose slip away...)

Medblog Addict said...

Love your blog.