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Friday, September 14, 2007

Life in a Petri Dish

I have always wondered if I had the filthiest house in all the lands. I have cats, birds, and a devious lazy streak. Things tend to build up like laundry, dishes, dust, cat hair on the couch, etc. I do once weekly spend a day cleaning and then let it go to hell the rest of the week. Kitties like dust bunnies. Who am I to destroy their furry little friends?

A friend of a friend is probably far filthier than anyone else I know. His apartment is a veritable swamp. The air conditioner leaks water onto the floor, which is completely saturated. There is so much moisture that the wooden door frame is rotting away and hanging on by a prayer. It reeks of mold and mildew. I am surprised he doesn't have a rare mold infection in the lungs.

At one point in the swamp his cat did get a lung infection. The cat refuses to enter the apartment. When the cat has had enough, you should probably call in a HAZMAT team and call it a day. He still lives on. We are sure he has adapted the coping skills of a cockroach and will never succumb to the swamp.

I do not have anywhere NEAR the filthiest house in all the lands. In fact, I don't even come close. I know this because I watch "How Clean Is Your House" on BBC America. The people on that show are all fighting tooth and nail for the "Filthiest House In All the Lands" award.

The two hosts used to work at the royal palace as maids. They specialize in simple cleaning techniques, utensils, and products that anyone with the intelligence of a 7 year old would be able to follow.

My favorite part of the show is when they take swabs of different parts of the house to see what grows in a petri dish. During the cleaning process the homeowner is shown pictures of the organisms and some of the diseases they can cause. A few houses were so chock full of "germs" that the hosts were surprised that no one had been sick yet.

After the horrific experience the hosts return 2 weeks later to view the progress. There have been a few that do no cleaning. I want to see the one year follow up. That would be hilarious. I know several of the houses are probably in their original state of filth. I don't think I could ever let my house be that gross.


Carol said...

The scary part about those houses is that alot of the problem could be avoided if they just took out the damn garbage!

LD50 Rat said...

"The Swamp"...sounds like the apartment above me when I lived in Detroit. Between the leaky sink AND the A/C unit, I'm surprised the whole living room didn't come crashing down on top of me.

Just get the bumper sticker, "A clean house is a sign of a wasted life", and call it a day ;)

Anonymous said...

I love "How Clean is Your House." Thanks for the laughs reading the post. There is so much difference between clutter and complete and utter filth.