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Sunday, July 15, 2007

"I'll Call My Lawyer!"

The new battle cry for "I know I am wrong and too stupid to realize it but I want to bully you into giving me what I want." Really? You have a healthcare specialty lawyer on retainer? Maybe you will get one of those late-night ambulance chasers from the infomercials. They won't even bother if they don't think they can win (didn't you know they take about 75% of the payout in the form of fees and court costs, dumbass).

My response is to have your lawyer contact my pharmacy manager and we will go from there. If you can find a lawyer that can bend the space-time continuum and make your refills not expire on your Valium I will enjoy that encounter, Really, I have a lot of quantum physics queries for him that I can't get an audience with Steve Hawking for. Until then you can go home and dial up your doctor's office and hope they have an on-call person for your "emergency" or you can take your miserable ass to the emergency room and hope they can fix it for you.

I will lecture you on being more responsible and you may get the same lecture from the emergency room staff. I hope each and every person there tells you about personal responsibility and how it is a pity you can't even manage one little teeny tiny detail in your busy life. I hope you don't have kids!

5 comments:

Mc RPh said...

The sad thing is, you KNOW they have kids. Too bad getting pregnant is the result of something fun, like fucking. Instead, fecundity should only be granted after passing a math test... or at the very least a grammar skills test (i.e. if the phrase "Yeah, I seen 'em" ever escapes your lips - BAM! You are immediately rendered sterile). Damn you again evolution!!

Mc RPh said...

PS I don't want to be considered elitist, but I'm often surprised at the sheer number of my customers that supposedly have lawyers on retainer. I mean, seriously... I make a pretty decent living and I don't have room in my budget for one. I'll be damned if I cut down on my whiskey/whore fund for one either.

FDPharmD said...

Classic!

I hear this about once a month, usually about HIPPA violations because I called both of their doctors to let them know that they are both unknowingly prescribing narcotics to the same patient. Apparently we are just supposed to fill pills and not worry about diversion or overdoses. If that were the case I would DEFINITELY need a lawyer on retainer.

In any case, I usually let them know that I do not have a lawyer to fight them, but my MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR corporate empire should be able to scrape up someone to take that complaint. And then we will all get together and come over to your house and laugh at you because OOPS, yep, it is right there in the law, I can talk to other health care professionals about your HEALTHCARE, which incidentally includes your drug addiction problems.

I don't necessarily say all of that, mostly just the last part minus the laughing; although I do laugh a little on the inside!

Unfortunately natural selection apparently does not apply to morons and welfare abusers...perhaps we should look into have a small break problem with Escalades, they all seem to get one with their Medicaid Card perhaps it is a special edition or something. We could have them all rigged, I get passed and cut off by them every day! Maybe they will just start flying off the road!

Ahh, Welfare Escalades...My wife is a teaching assistant, do you think if she went in and showed them her paycheck, and not mine, we could get one for free too...I will try that next weekend when we go car shopping.

Anonymous said...

i was just told by a patient that she was going to call elliot spitzer and put me on TV because she KNOWS that she never got a 90 day supply and we were just trying to rip her off.


bbbbuuuhhhh whaaaat?

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

Weird enough, in my 11 years working in a pharmacy I actually have had to use the Multi-billion dollar corporate empire lawyer once. I was falsely accused, of course (in case you were wondering).