We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Le Douche (cousin of Ass Clown)

Ah, Le Douche. I knew I would not survive a work week without an infestation of you.

Setting: McDruggie's late Sunday evening.

And scene: You walk up to the counter, a gallon of milk and two Nestle chocolate milks in hand.

Pharmacist: Are you picking up or dropping off?

Le Douche: I am picking up for >>>>my name>>>>.

Pharmacist: We need refills from your doctor because there are none left in your records.

Le Douche: Why isn't my prescription ready? They told me it would be ready when I called it in an hour ago! Why didn't anyone tell me it needed refills?

Pharmacist: I am sorry but there are no refills in your records. Unfortunately I cannot give you some tablets to hold you over because Ambien is a controlled substance. I will call your doctor in the morning.

Pharmacist Brain: Is this guy f***ing kidding! He read the number off the bottle that said "NO Refills, doctor authorization required" when he called it in to the technician standing next to me that took the call. What a f***ing moron!

Le Douche storms off. Pharmacist asks Technician if she will return the abandoned milk products to the refrigerator case.

Technician: I will give him a few minutes to shop.

Pharmacist: He is not coming baaack.

Three minutes later Le Douche is nowhere to be found.

Pharmacist: It is cute that you thought he was coming back. Please return the abandoned milk product to the refrigerator case. Thanks!

Technician: I can't believe he did that.

End scene.

Unfortunately things like this do happen in the real world. Some people believe that refills happen like loaves and fishes (biblical reference if you didn't get the joke). These same people also believe that "drama" is going to "hurt" the people working in a pharmacy, when really, all it does is leave us scratching our heads and wondering how natural selection has failed to deselect you.


Anonymous said...

Le Douche, Le Dunce, Le Britny Spears, Le Ass Wipe, Le Box of Rocks all come to my pharmacy too.

DanTech said...

I suspect that stupid people out breed smart people.

Think about it. As a group who is more likely to use, and remember to use contraception devices?

Its as if intelligence is not THAT big of a biological advantage. Stupid just breeds stupid.

MrHunnybun said...


We go so many people making a drama, often in front of a pharmacy of other people. They seem to think it makes us look stupid. Seldom do they realise they are making fools out of themselves!

If I've decided that I'm not going to "lend" you some tablets until you can get a prescription, then stamping your feet and shouting at me isn't going to get me to change my mind. Some people think making a fuss helps them, maybe it does, but not in my pharmacy!

It's normally shouting, occasionally rolling of the eyes and I have had a few things thrown at me over the years. Makes for good conversation in the pharmacy after they have gone.

Mc RPh said...

Boy, he really showed you... didn't he?

drytears said...

I just don't get it... why would you even bring something to a pharmacy if it didn't have any refills on it??? I always check and if I don't have any left I, myself call or make an appt to see my dr.

I like in shock, that people expect you to do that for them!

Pharmacy God said...

Didn't Le Douche have a hit in the mid 90s (Be My Lover)?

Did you get his autograph?

Anonymous said...

I disagree. Drama in the pharmacy gives us something to laugh at....

Pharmer Jane said...

Do you ever get people who will argue with you that even though the bottle clearly says "no refills", they know there MUST be refills because there is a line of text underneath that says "use by XX/XX/XXXX that's always one year from the date of the fill? "That means there are refills!" No, that means the tablets expire in one year's time. The text that says "no refills" means there are no refills.

Suppressed said...

I'm not a pharmacist but I can tell you that Le Douche has clone brothers and sisters that show up wherever I work too.

Anonymous said...

...wondering how natural selection has failed to deselect you!!!

Funniest thing I've read all day.

vicodinfairy said...

Don't forget Le Boozehound, Le Crackhead, Le Toothless Wonder, Le STD girl!

My father's theory of reproduction was that the number of children any given person has is inversly proportional to his/her IQ.

People often believe that the throwing of a tantrum is going to get them some special treatment...pretty much it gets them invited to leave!!

Anonymous said...

We one had a lady throw a big-ass container of Ocean Spray to the ground and storm off when her prescription wasn't ready...there was a line of people behind her trying not to laugh...to this day we have "JUICE THROWER! DUCK!" in her profile and we snicker every time she leaves

jess said...

Don't forget Le Yuppie. We had a woman pick a prescription that she had dropped off... four months earlier. We had returned it to stock long ago and put her hard copy in the hold bin. When she showed up four months later we found her prescription and filled it for her. It was a slow day so it took less than 10 minutes. She threw an absolute fit the entire time we were trying to locate her prescription and fill it. It would have taken even less time had she not been hounding us throughout the entire procedure. On the way out she turned around and yelled at the top of her lungs, "YOU SUCK!!!!"
Sigh. I sure do miss retail pharmacy.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

I thought that song was by Le Bouche....maybe it was covered by Le Douche. I didn't find any monetary value for either autograph on eBay.

Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

That was the funniest post ever!! By the way, Le Dickhead and Le Bitch stopped by my pharmacy today. They were in rare form!

stlcoptony said...

In Therapeutics at my pharmacy school, during the fertility lecture, we learned that a study actually confirmed that fertility rate is inversely proportional to economic class. We were even taught in school that people on the state's dime will have more children!!!!