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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Let's Talk About Sex

I'm not going in to the freaky deaky stuff for the time being but I do want to address a growing and sad issue: Plan B. Multiple times each work week I see panicky scared little girls come in for Plan B or send in their boyfriends to buy it because they are TERRIFIED that their parents will find out what dumb ass little teenage loser they let wallow in their baby gutter. This needs to stop.

If you are so afraid or too embarrassed or too immature to have an open adult dialogue with your parents about sex then you have NO business f*cking!!! My parents failed to do this with my older sister who got pregnant in high school and hid it from the family until her last few months. They made sure I knew about baby making and venereal disease and got on birth control at an appropriate age. What is an appropriate age? That has been debated by religious and parent/teacher groups for years. I recommend operating on the "old enough to bleed, old enough to breed" paradigm.

Upon a girl's first menstruation it is imperative that parents have a discussion about dealing with blood, birth control, and venereal disease. Let's face it, being a girl is disgusting and it helps to have a good home support system. Parents should have the talk with boys when they start getting "morning wood" and "nocturnal emissions." It is up to the parents how detailed they want to get and if they want to take the mom tackles daughter, dad tackles son on the talks. They also need to agree on rules for dating for their children and please allow them to take the health course at school that goes over reproduction and social responsibility for their offspring. It seems this education has been lacking on all fronts worldwide.

Knowledge is power and with the potential to make a baby teens should have greater responsibility and knowledge for planning a baby at an appropriate time in life instead of having one and dropping it in a dumpster or using it for a welfare check. I guarantee many of your children are having sex and not telling you about it. Make sure you have a good little sit down chat. If you are uncomfortable with it there is a Planned Parenthood where you can make an appointment for your child to talk to a health care professional for any questions they are uncomfortable asking you. Let's take the fear out of growing up and bring RESPONSIBILITY back to our baby-making!


Ann Onny said...

I enjoy your blog and miss reading when the entries become infrequent. It's funny, sharp, and fresh.

However, I found this particular rant to be really disheartening.

Taking responsibility for one's reproductive rights does not translate into "too embarrassed and afraid?" In fact, it's quite the opposite, and I'm encouraged to hear that these kids are stepping up, no matter how embarrassing or uncomfortable it is on the other side of your counter.

Furthermore, it's usually the parents in these situations who are too embarrassed and ashamed of their own sexuality and too afraid of sex and honesty with their kids to discuss it -- not the kids. ("Don't have sex until you're married," does not constitute a discussion, but can we please stay out of politics and religion?)

They're teenagers -- they fight, they f**k, they scowl, they talk on the phone, they do what they want to do. That's how it is, and the nature of human development suggests that that's how it will always be.

"Dropping a baby in a dumpster or using it for a welfare check" is the very opposite of buying birth control to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Usually your logic and your arguments are sound -- this remark is really not like you at all. (Perhaps what you really saw at work was extremely disturbing but couldn't be shared here?)

Most importantly, "Being a girl" is not disgusting (or shameful), it's challenging and stimulating and powerful. Women can literally create life! Their hormones and fluctuations make them empathic and engaging and more connected with their surroundings! Your comment to the contrary really saddens me. You are educated, capable, and articulate. You are an esteemed professional in a career that affords you much more authority and independence in the workplace than most of our mothers (and theirs in turn) could ever hope for. Yet you're still carrying around their crappy self-esteem and broken down pseudo-"family" values.

You may not like my comment, but I invite you to trade your shame about sex and gender for something -- anything -- else that holds up better in the real world and doesn't fill you with judgment and contempt.

Shana said...

I'd rather have a dumb girl get Plan B than have a dumb girl have a baby.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

I have an inappropriate sense of humor. I meant "gross" in the bloaty, bleedy, crampy sense. I do not doubt or question the ability to grow another human inside a woman is awesome and empowering I just think Americans are too scared to talk about sex. Parents and children should not have any fear or shame about out bodies. We should all be comfortable in our own skin and able to discuss it.

yamiryu990 said...

i'd rather see a girl come in for plan b then having a kid before there ready. and a lot of girls can't talk about it with their parents unless they want to be kicked out since for many at that age the only education we had was 'don't get pregnant. if you do you can find some other place to live.' since they would rather die then discuss it. at least if they have come in for plan b they have a bit of sense. i understand that you meant it sarcastically but it really comes off as ignorant. it's sad when the posts are slow on this blog since their normally quite refreshing and sharp in the humor.

Corrinne said...

I just have to chime in and say that a large number of teenagers don't have parents they can talk to. Whether their parents are just awful, drug addicted assholes or super religious, it just isn't a possibility for many of them. The one time I took Plan B was when a condom broke. I started a second form of birth control shortly after that.

But, the parent issue is a big reason why all this needs to be taught in schools, not this "abstinence only" crap. It doesn't slow teenagers down one bit, they lose their virginity at the same age as kids with comprehensive sex ed. But the kids with real sex ed actually know what the hell to do to protect themselves.

Aa-chan said...

I'll probably get bashed to high hell for this... but... I agree with you.

My sister got pregnant at 17, just as she was finishing high school. My parents were divorced when she was little, and my mom never took the time out to talk to her about sex. She merely thought that her daughter would have enough sense to not do anything stupid. -- Yeah, I know. Stupid of her, but I have a year-old niece now, and there's nothing I can do about it (Don't get me wrong; I LOVE that little girl to death, but I wish my sister would've waited to have her).

I think there needs to be more interaction via parents/responsible party, though I also agree with some of the posters that I'd rather have a dumb girl get Plan B than get pregnant with a baby that I have to take care of with money deducted from my paycheck in the form of welfare.

My mom could've done more, but ... I dunno. I'll never know. I guess it's just different parenting styles. Then again, I don't have any kids, so I wouldn't know.