A mighty protrusion of skin fold outcrop
Hanging out below your muffin top.
Creating friction and moisture for a minutiae of beast
Such as bacteria, fungus, and the opportunistic yeast.
I'm not talking about something worn when serving a patron
I'm talking about the voluminous reach of a skin fold lap apron.
For many aged* it's from caloric expansion with tonicity lost
For others the result of surgery/dieting with rapid weight loss.
Whatever the cause of your lap apron may be
Hygiene is important, keep it dry you see.
If your lap apron becomes a prohibitive part of your anatomy
Find a good surgeon who can perform a panniculectomy.
With a lap apron surgically and maybe permanently gone
We can begin to rip off the 30 Rock "Muffin Top" song.
*pronounced age-ed for the purpose of flow