It that time of year again when families gather to feast upon that most magical of beasts, the turducken. Not technically a creature of the natural world but the design of some culinary dementia where a turkey just wasn't enough so a duck gets stuck up its hole where intestines and organs used to lie. This foodie contraption is dressed and cooked in various not-at-all healthy ways, combined with other unhealthy abominations of foodie dreams to be devoured by family and friends at a rate that would astonish the starved inhabitants of a remote tribal village that only sees a "full" meal once daily if lucky.
Wow.....Happy Turducken Day! or if you are vegan Happy Tof*cken Day! (where a tofu mass shaped like a duck is stuffed into the hole of a tofu mass shaped like a turkey and sounds dirty when you say it out loud...). Don't forget to gather around the table and switch the salt with a Lipitor shaker so you can pretend that cholesterol won't be the catalyst for your ultimate demise.
Don't forget to be thankful for all the things you love like "clean rooms" and antibacterial soaps, birth control and lubricant, or whatever floats your boat. I am thankful for laundry machines because washing a large load by hand would suck more than having fecal impaction...or so I imagine it to be.
And Remember: If you have a roof over your head, money in the bank, and money in your pocket (no matter how small the amounts), you are part of the richest 8% of the world population! Yay!