Flounce Like You MEAN It!

I mean, if you're gonna announce, "I'm never coming to this store again!" as grandly as if Queen Liz was standing in front of Pick Up, make it count!

(Once you slink in the next week and you kinda feel like the whole pharmacy staff is smirking at you, know that we are.)

I had someone tell me they were leaving because I talked 'like I was a pharmacist'. I'm not sure what that means, other than counseling a patient and I wouldn't do that, so as usual I just brushed it off. Today, when this patient stood in front of me, I didn't comment, but my smile must have radiated pure evil, because she didn't even blink when I told her 15 minutes wasn't possible for a waiter at that moment.

I also don't hesitate when people say "Oh, you're higher than WalMart? What about the 4 dollar list?" Without a breath, I hand them their scripts back, give 'em a "We ain't WalMart, keep it moving" and go about my day. When you come back later sheepishly, I won't gloat aloud. I'll keep it cool.

Also, "We don't work on commission" is our battle cry. Not saying you want to deliberately piss off people, but thinking that your script for Vicodin from that pill mill down the street is directly paying my salary is making me laugh. Hard.

Rush Job

Hate putting away totes of warehouse? Feel like it takes aaaaaaallllllllll day? I am going to let you in on my sure-fire method to efficiently put away those drugs/supplies!

***Tote of refrigerated items first*** This has nothing to do with how much or how little is in the tote, it has to do with drug stability.

***Miscellaneous small boxes of syringes, test strips, etc that come separate from the totes*** These are annoying, small, and the whole box of stuff goes in one spot on the shelf.

***Now the other totes***
1. Oversized items (bowel prep jugs, boxes of syringes, 500-1000 count bottles, pound jars of ointments, large liquid bottles, Spiriva, Advair, etc.)
2. Boxed items (anything in a box like eye drops, ointments, nasal sprays, inhalers, etc)
3. Any other liquids and recons.
4. square/rectangular/odd shaped stock bottles
5. round stock bottles

It helps to pull all the items of each step and group same drugs together then put them on the shelf before going to the next step. In a situation with two people have one person set them up while the other person puts them away and that massive mountain of drugs will be put away in not time flat!

Sleepy, Not Sleepy

Dear Torrent Pharmaceuticals,

I have several patients questioning the potency of your 10mg zolpidem tablets. One lady even took one and 1/2 tablets and still was wide awake 3 hours later. I had the pleasure of her multiple phone calls. Please take a few tablets and sample their actual active ingredient concentration to appease the doubters.

Thank you!

BNT RPH

Nuclear Meltdown

Attention Public:

Calling the pharmacy and stopping by the pharmacy will not get you potassium iodide tablets. I do not know what you have heard on the news or read on the internet but potassium iodide will not save you from radiation poisoning. I repeat: Potassium Iodide Tablets Will NOT Save You From Radiation Poisoning!

Potassium iodide is only used to protect the thyroid gland. It does not protect anything else on or in you from radiation and its detrimental effects. In severe cases it will not even be enough to protect the thyroid gland so get over it.

The US government has stated that we (in the US) are in no danger from any radiation coming from Japan. However, there can be environmental consequences that would have widespread ramifications mainly involving sea life, shore life, and water supply contamination.

There is no point in getting yourself worked up over any potential nuclear meltdown. Let's not get all "Lord of the Flies" just yet. If it happens, it happens. We as a planet will deal with the consequences.

I Want A New Drug!

Feeling down? Well drop that bag of Cheetos, get off the couch and get ready to take control! We here at Fast Food Pharma have got a whopper for you!

Be a part of the latest and greatest drug ever created! Have the ability to heal yourself with your mind! Be the life of the party! Feel like a million dollar per episode sitcom king!

Our warlocks are working overtime to crank out our sacred proprietary blend of tiger blood and Adonis DNA. You can be the first to take the greatest drug on the planet: Charlie Sheen! So come on over and start "Winning!". What are you waiting for????


*Charlie Sheen may cause an uncontrollable urge to snort hellacious amounts of cocaine, collect a harem of porn star goddesses, trash hotels, threaten exes, wreck cars, ruin your career, and sporadic bouts of public insanity.

*Limited time offer as production of Charlie Sheen may abruptly stop if PETA ever figures out where we keep the tigers, the Adonis DNA becomes contaminated, or our warlocks die.

Speaking Of Fever

Why didn't I have these awesome little temp takers as a child? I believe that my fever time would be smiley and bright eyed too instead of feeling like Satan had finally come for me as a preemptive strike on the reign of terror to come.

Instead I had the old school mercury in glass thermometer. I hated those things because they were cold and hard and on more than two occasions I broke them in my mouth. That probably explains a lot of things...

Even the first "sticker" thermometers were those ugly old rectangular strips that changed color like a mood ring. I tossed one of them in boiling water once to see what it would do and of course the colors changed really fast then it went black and was a thermometer no more.

Along with the information age and better toys, kids these days just have it cuter, easier, and better. Damn, why couldn't I have been born about 20 years later. I guess I just have to stew in my jealousy.

Bieber Fever

Aw yeah! Even the cosmetics department has Bieber fever, not to be confused with Beaver fever, although I wonder if they both need the same treatment. Oh well, since it is from OPI I will wear his light blue polish so I can be one less lonely girl...