Some people are striking to look at and some people you just want to strike after they open their mouths. Smack-tards. The only people on the planet that are so f*cking retarded you want to smack them r-e-a-l hard...
Smack-Tard #1
Female caller: "I need to know if clonidine is like Klonopin."
Brain: Ew ew ew...I wonder where this is going...
Female caller: "So I can't get high on it?"
Brain: For reals????
Female caller: "I guess I should put it back where I found it then. Bye."
Brain: Smack smack smack some damn sense into that beotch...she is probably on welfare with 10 kids cuz that is usually the ones that are paid by the governmemnt to stay home with their legs spread and their brains gelatinizing on some chemical they shouldn't have in the first place...ugh...I hate people... **Don't judge, you were thinking the same thing...
Smack Tard #2
He was buying a pregnancy test because his girlfriend started her period on the 10th of last month but hasn't started yet this month (it was the 8th when he came in). She is also having some breast pain so he thinks it means there is a bun in the oven.
I explained to him that most women will not start on the exact same day every time and breast tenderness is pretty common also a few days prior to it. Maybe if they weren't riding dirty (without a condom) they wouldn't have to worry about a baby. Oral contraceptives aren't 100% effective anyway and heaven forbid you get beat down by your man for giving him the herps or something...
Smack that one down and castrate him for humanity's sake...
Smack Tard #3
This douche was banned from the bullseye for threatening the pharmacist's life. That pharmacist even filed a formal complaint and has a restraining order on the guy so of course he wants us to fill all of his prescriptions. Seriously, can't we find a way to pass him off on Wal-Mart with their low low prices? I enjoy spreading the pharmacy love. I have had a gun in my face, I don't want to have some psycho come over the counter because his narcotics are over a week early and no one will fill them because this smack tard sounds high on the phone and his conversation makes little to no sense. I wonder what else he is on that he gets from "cracky" on the streets...
So my boss talked to the guy Friday night and told him that we won't fill a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g early if the bullseye says it is too soon. That is our store policy (cuz we despise "cracky" and all his cohorts and wish them a slow painful death). He calls back Saturday and talks to another regular and she tells him the same thing. The bullseye faxes over his prescriptions and we leave them aside for the boss to deal with. He hates it when we do that but he is a very large man who is far more intimidating in appearance than the other short ladies and I that work there so he gets to be the bully.
I had the displeasure of talking to the guy who argued with me that Monday was the 11th, his next date of fill, and not the 10th like I told him. Too juiced to comprehend the space time continuum represented by the change of date at 12am or just stupid enough to think he could argue his way into a bottle of narcs. Pitiful...
I wanna smack smack smack that one within an inch of his life and scream "How do you like me now, b*tch?" Instead I only get the super satisfying fantasy and a kick boxing class. Damn assault laws...they really spoil my fun sometimes...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Ahoy, Unecessary Product Ahead...
Avast me hearties for a new product set sail on the seas of "I need a pill to help me." This scurvy dog is the "big new thing" in migraine relief....have you guessed yet? It's Treximet!
This magical wonderful modern chemical from GSK (this next paragraph is directly from the official Treximet site:
TREXIMET…
…superior to the ingredient in IMITREX Tablets at relieving migraine pain. TREXIMET is the only migraine treatment to combine these 2 medicines — IMITREX (sumatriptan) and prescription-strength naproxen sodium (an NSAID) — in one tablet. So it works 2 ways: it targets the nerves and blood vessels believed to trigger a migraine and relieves inflammation that can cause migraine pain.
If it was that far superior why wasn't it manufactured in the first place? This is just another prior authorization nightmare in motion when it would be far cheaper to get generic Imitrex and generic Naprosyn on almost all insurances. I see post-patent money grubbing douche-baggery as with such fine unecessary products as Paxil CR, Ambien CR, Coreg CR, Nexium, Pataday, Xyzal, Zegerid, Sarafem, Betapace AF, Cialis 2.5mg and 5mg daily packs, Clarinex, etc (definitely not an all-inclusive list, just the most irritating that come to mind). Why does the FDA let this sh*t happen? This combo was as necesary to modern medicine as the smoke monster was to the plot of "Lost." Thanks J.J. and thanks GSK!
This magical wonderful modern chemical from GSK (this next paragraph is directly from the official Treximet site:
TREXIMET…
…superior to the ingredient in IMITREX Tablets at relieving migraine pain. TREXIMET is the only migraine treatment to combine these 2 medicines — IMITREX (sumatriptan) and prescription-strength naproxen sodium (an NSAID) — in one tablet. So it works 2 ways: it targets the nerves and blood vessels believed to trigger a migraine and relieves inflammation that can cause migraine pain.
If it was that far superior why wasn't it manufactured in the first place? This is just another prior authorization nightmare in motion when it would be far cheaper to get generic Imitrex and generic Naprosyn on almost all insurances. I see post-patent money grubbing douche-baggery as with such fine unecessary products as Paxil CR, Ambien CR, Coreg CR, Nexium, Pataday, Xyzal, Zegerid, Sarafem, Betapace AF, Cialis 2.5mg and 5mg daily packs, Clarinex, etc (definitely not an all-inclusive list, just the most irritating that come to mind). Why does the FDA let this sh*t happen? This combo was as necesary to modern medicine as the smoke monster was to the plot of "Lost." Thanks J.J. and thanks GSK!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Random Thoughts
How many more strengths of Vyvanse do we need?
Do we really want to know what "Muskrat Love" looks like? Haven't I asked that one before?
How can we have an overpopulation problem with the veritable multitude of oral contraceptives and other options available?
How high will medication copays get before everyone breaks out the torches and pitchforks to storm the insurance companies' buildings?
How many Starburst fruit chews can I eat before my Islets of Langerhans beg for mercy? Hmm, maybe I should hit them with something equivalent to a sugary nuclear apocalypse....a mocha latte and a fudge covered donut with sprinkles...that'll learn 'em...
What is my obsession with that Langerhans guy and his islets? Jeepers...
Is it taunting to sing "If I Only Had a Brain" to my robotic dispensing system?
Do I really need to get a PharmD?
How many mass produced items we sell for $4 or less come from other nations and are made of toxic materials?
Will the eco warrior princess send another nasty email about recycling this week?
If the makers of Grey Goose, Jack Daniels, and Parrot Bay rum put their beverages in mini kegs that would fit the Heineken mini keg tap/refrigerator would anyone ever need pills to make them happy?
Since the state of California is going broke and sending out IOU's for tax refunds and can't pay the Medicaid bills how long before other states face a similar predicament?
How would the character Kenneth the page from 30 Rock be if he was Kenneth the pharmacist?
Why do I laugh every time I hear a Michael Macdonald song and think of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Paul Rudd's character goes apesh*t over the repeated playing of Michael's concert DVD?
Why did the Xanax/Ambien abuser say that he has a broken leg when he was walking perfectly fine the morning the pharmacy manager made him leave for starting crap again?
Why do pharmacists get stuck dealing with this crap all the damn time?
How many more years before I get more vacation time?
Better yet...How many more years until I can retire???
Is it still illegal to fake my death and use an alternate identity to claim the insurance policy then disappear to some far away remote island to spend my twilight years selling seashell sculptures to tourists?
Do we really want to know what "Muskrat Love" looks like? Haven't I asked that one before?
How can we have an overpopulation problem with the veritable multitude of oral contraceptives and other options available?
How high will medication copays get before everyone breaks out the torches and pitchforks to storm the insurance companies' buildings?
How many Starburst fruit chews can I eat before my Islets of Langerhans beg for mercy? Hmm, maybe I should hit them with something equivalent to a sugary nuclear apocalypse....a mocha latte and a fudge covered donut with sprinkles...that'll learn 'em...
What is my obsession with that Langerhans guy and his islets? Jeepers...
Is it taunting to sing "If I Only Had a Brain" to my robotic dispensing system?
Do I really need to get a PharmD?
How many mass produced items we sell for $4 or less come from other nations and are made of toxic materials?
Will the eco warrior princess send another nasty email about recycling this week?
If the makers of Grey Goose, Jack Daniels, and Parrot Bay rum put their beverages in mini kegs that would fit the Heineken mini keg tap/refrigerator would anyone ever need pills to make them happy?
Since the state of California is going broke and sending out IOU's for tax refunds and can't pay the Medicaid bills how long before other states face a similar predicament?
How would the character Kenneth the page from 30 Rock be if he was Kenneth the pharmacist?
Why do I laugh every time I hear a Michael Macdonald song and think of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Paul Rudd's character goes apesh*t over the repeated playing of Michael's concert DVD?
Why did the Xanax/Ambien abuser say that he has a broken leg when he was walking perfectly fine the morning the pharmacy manager made him leave for starting crap again?
Why do pharmacists get stuck dealing with this crap all the damn time?
How many more years before I get more vacation time?
Better yet...How many more years until I can retire???
Is it still illegal to fake my death and use an alternate identity to claim the insurance policy then disappear to some far away remote island to spend my twilight years selling seashell sculptures to tourists?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Hey, Kool-Aid Man!
Times, they are a changing, and with these changes I am one of the privileged many to test new computer software, phone systems, and new ways to bring the pharmacist back to the patient and away from the pill counting.
Working by myself at night can be very hectic with phones ringing, a line of cars, and a line of people waiting to ask questions or pick up their meds. Add the easy listening "all suicide network" that is piped in and it is a veritable cluster f*ck of sensory overload. Many days it is more than a sane person can take but since I am "nuts" it only gets bad on occasion.
While I was off one week we were uploaded to the new central operating system. It consists of many teams dedicated to specific tasks such as data entry, verification, phones, and filling next day pick up prescriptions for shipments to stores. It works as if I had beaten the cookies out of the Keebler elves and made them my b*tches. As if by unicorn tears and rainbow wishes my prescriptions are entered, checked, printed, and in many cases my robot friend (I call it Twiki) has them filled for me when I get back from the drive-thru or out window and consultation areas.
What it amounts to is that I now have the luxury of actually using my education to help people achieve better therapeutic outcomes. Hallef*ckin'lujah! All these years I worked retail and it was all about how fast you can complete 1,000 tasks at the same time where now I can actually take time out to really help people by answering questions and addressing concerns with their health. Sure it has some drawbacks and needs to be tweaked here and there but we are a test market so these things are to be expected. When all the bugs get worked out it will be a brave new world where patients get real health care without feeling neglected by their pharmacist.
Yep kids, I drank the corporate Kool-Aid and it tasted like magic.
Oh Yeah!
Working by myself at night can be very hectic with phones ringing, a line of cars, and a line of people waiting to ask questions or pick up their meds. Add the easy listening "all suicide network" that is piped in and it is a veritable cluster f*ck of sensory overload. Many days it is more than a sane person can take but since I am "nuts" it only gets bad on occasion.
While I was off one week we were uploaded to the new central operating system. It consists of many teams dedicated to specific tasks such as data entry, verification, phones, and filling next day pick up prescriptions for shipments to stores. It works as if I had beaten the cookies out of the Keebler elves and made them my b*tches. As if by unicorn tears and rainbow wishes my prescriptions are entered, checked, printed, and in many cases my robot friend (I call it Twiki) has them filled for me when I get back from the drive-thru or out window and consultation areas.
What it amounts to is that I now have the luxury of actually using my education to help people achieve better therapeutic outcomes. Hallef*ckin'lujah! All these years I worked retail and it was all about how fast you can complete 1,000 tasks at the same time where now I can actually take time out to really help people by answering questions and addressing concerns with their health. Sure it has some drawbacks and needs to be tweaked here and there but we are a test market so these things are to be expected. When all the bugs get worked out it will be a brave new world where patients get real health care without feeling neglected by their pharmacist.
Yep kids, I drank the corporate Kool-Aid and it tasted like magic.
Oh Yeah!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Open Letter To The Lady That Keeps Complaining Via E-Mail About Plastic Packaging
Dear Eco Warrior Princess,
I share your concerns with the impact that big business has on the environment. Your complaints about the larger prescription vials we use are confusing. Apparently you were not enlightened at new cost effective procedures that save jobs and keep your prescriptions from being $500 each and every month that involve robotic filling systems that use larger vials but fill 10,000 more prescriptions than a mere mortal could in a single day. Mayhaps you should ask your insurance company about that sort of thing when they switch over to mandatory mail order service for maintenance med refills later this year and inconvenience you with large vials and plastic bags of their own.
Your concerns about all the plastics we use are also unfounded. Instead of telling you where I think you could put that plastic bag you keep e-mailing us about "How am I supposed to dispose of it because it will just end up in a landfill and damage the environment?" I will tell you how you can dispose of said bag and everything else you think we give you that will destroy the environment.
Instead of mounting your pulpit to push for corporate crucifixion perhaps you should take a closer look at EACH plastic item. There is a little symbol that looks like a triangle made from 3 arrows pointing at each other on each product. On the bottom of the vial it is a thin triangle with a number in it that is raised so you can see it. On the lower left corner of every plastic bag we use there is a bright red triangle of arrows with a number in it. These items are ALL recyclable. Do you recognize the symbol or do you just like annoying the hell out of other people to make yourself feel better?
In addition to upgrading machinery, we at McDruggie's are constantly looking for ways to "pinch pennies" by cutting waste in every department and save our natural resources by using less paper and more recyclable materials. In California we have also started installing solar panels on many stores to become energy independent. I hope this eases your stupidity a little bit. If you want to crusade against corporations perhaps you should e-mail McDonald's corporate offices every day because a study of New York City stated that McDonald's food packages were their greatest source of litter.
Ingenuously yours,
Big N Tasty
I share your concerns with the impact that big business has on the environment. Your complaints about the larger prescription vials we use are confusing. Apparently you were not enlightened at new cost effective procedures that save jobs and keep your prescriptions from being $500 each and every month that involve robotic filling systems that use larger vials but fill 10,000 more prescriptions than a mere mortal could in a single day. Mayhaps you should ask your insurance company about that sort of thing when they switch over to mandatory mail order service for maintenance med refills later this year and inconvenience you with large vials and plastic bags of their own.
Your concerns about all the plastics we use are also unfounded. Instead of telling you where I think you could put that plastic bag you keep e-mailing us about "How am I supposed to dispose of it because it will just end up in a landfill and damage the environment?" I will tell you how you can dispose of said bag and everything else you think we give you that will destroy the environment.
Instead of mounting your pulpit to push for corporate crucifixion perhaps you should take a closer look at EACH plastic item. There is a little symbol that looks like a triangle made from 3 arrows pointing at each other on each product. On the bottom of the vial it is a thin triangle with a number in it that is raised so you can see it. On the lower left corner of every plastic bag we use there is a bright red triangle of arrows with a number in it. These items are ALL recyclable. Do you recognize the symbol or do you just like annoying the hell out of other people to make yourself feel better?
In addition to upgrading machinery, we at McDruggie's are constantly looking for ways to "pinch pennies" by cutting waste in every department and save our natural resources by using less paper and more recyclable materials. In California we have also started installing solar panels on many stores to become energy independent. I hope this eases your stupidity a little bit. If you want to crusade against corporations perhaps you should e-mail McDonald's corporate offices every day because a study of New York City stated that McDonald's food packages were their greatest source of litter.
Ingenuously yours,
Big N Tasty
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Give 'Em A Hand
In movies and on television we see Hollywood magic bring fascinating prosthetics and "super-human" body enhancements to life. In reality we aren't quite there with Wolverine's pliable metal skeleton, which would require a LOT of explaining at airport security, and the 6 Million Dollar Man or Bionic Woman, with a completely revamped body that does wondrous things and has that great "bionic action" dut-dut-dut-dut-dut music with it but one thing we are closer to is the Luke Skywalker hand. You know the one at the end of Empire Strikes Back with the whole "Luke I am your father." sequence where Darth Vader cuts off Luke's hand and later on the medical freighter he has a new robotic hand that is fully functional like a real human hand.
We are very very close. I found a company called Touch Bionics that has indeed come the closest I have seen to the Skywalker hand. Unfortunately is has a lame name, the i-LIMB (damn you Apple for the i- on everything now). Anyway, it has individually motorized fingers that allow a person to grip, open soda cans, and even use a key in a lock. But it gets better...
This hand has fingers that can be unscrewed and quickly replaced if there is a defect or it ceases to work. This allows the user to maintain functionality instead of having to wait while the prosthetic is fixed and walk around hand less so people can point and stare. They have also developed a silicone based product with a few other companies called Livingskin that covers the prosthesis and can be colored to match with skin tone, freckles, veins, and finger nails so that the casual observer has no clue that your hand is a prosthetic. Awesome!
Touch Bionics will be the first call I make if I lose a hand. Oh wait, I lied... The first call I make will be 911, the second call will be my parents, and the third call (in the event that my hand cannot be reattached) will be Touch Bionics. Bravo!
www.touchbionics.com It is fascinating and innovative stuff!
We are very very close. I found a company called Touch Bionics that has indeed come the closest I have seen to the Skywalker hand. Unfortunately is has a lame name, the i-LIMB (damn you Apple for the i- on everything now). Anyway, it has individually motorized fingers that allow a person to grip, open soda cans, and even use a key in a lock. But it gets better...
This hand has fingers that can be unscrewed and quickly replaced if there is a defect or it ceases to work. This allows the user to maintain functionality instead of having to wait while the prosthetic is fixed and walk around hand less so people can point and stare. They have also developed a silicone based product with a few other companies called Livingskin that covers the prosthesis and can be colored to match with skin tone, freckles, veins, and finger nails so that the casual observer has no clue that your hand is a prosthetic. Awesome!
Touch Bionics will be the first call I make if I lose a hand. Oh wait, I lied... The first call I make will be 911, the second call will be my parents, and the third call (in the event that my hand cannot be reattached) will be Touch Bionics. Bravo!
www.touchbionics.com It is fascinating and innovative stuff!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Full Moon Fun
Scientifically the full moon has absolutely nothing to do with mania, psychosis or the weird sh*t that people do but that does not stop us from holding romantically to the ancient belief that the full moon possesses an arcane embrace with humanity and allows malevolent spirits to make us dance like puppets. It's not that the moon is at fault but I rely on this busted Muppet show in a live-action format and really really look forward to the antics and the phone calls to break up the corpo pharmacy monotony.
Night One, ie Friday
Nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual 10 daily calls from hypochondriac/OCD guy, harrumph. A lack of Viagra/Levitra/Cialis still indicative of a crap economy. I did sell a lot of condoms and Plan B so some people were still having more fun than me.(**jealous**)
Night Two, ie Saturday
A regular calls who is mentally handicapped and has all the capabilities and facilities of a teenager. She takes several medications and has had a problem in the past with popping her benzos like "Sno-caps" then saying she lost them. Tonight was another such incident. She called and said she lost her bottle of pills and needs them or she will end up in the hospital because she feels like she needs more than than the doc gives her. I asked her if the doc had increased her dose and she said no so I looked in the profile and she last got a 30 day supply 12 days ago and there are no refills left so we will have to call the prescriber. She throws a fit and I calmly try to explain we cannot give or sell any tabs without an active prescription because it is a controlled substance. I also explained that with no refills she has 3 options: search her house again, call her prescriber's answering service or go to the emergency room.
She snarks back that she already looked everywhere in her house, doesn't want to bother her doc at 1am (rare to hear that one), and said "We all know how the emergency room works out." She then wants me to sell her just one tablet until she can call the doc Sunday morning. I explain again, no active rx for a controlled substance, no pills, do you need me to go over your options again? She then threatens to sue because "What do you do when people are in pain? That is not what a pharmacy does to people. That is not right and I will go over your head. I've sued "insert corpo-pharmacy name here" and won thousands before. I need to speak to the person above you."
I told her I am the pharmacist on duty and there is nobody above me until the pharmacy manager comes in the next morning. She told me I was rude and hung up on me. So I went about my weekly C-II inventory. The phone rings again and it is her telling me how unethical and rude I am, how can I live with myself being so cruel to people, and how she will go above my head if she has to and blah blah blah. I just let her vent and didn't say a single word. After she said all she wanted to say I was going to speak and she hung up. How rude and hypocritical of her. Oh well, she's retarded so I will take the abuse as if I really deserved it but I am not breaking the law for anybody.
As the evening became early morning I got a call from a pharmacist in North Carolina who was asking me about a doc. I told her that we aren't currently filling any of his prescriptions because he is under investigation for catering to cash for candy patients. She asked me to look in a guy's drug profile. Of course if was multiple Oxycontin and Roxicodone rx's from multiple physicians filled in multiple stores. The day staff had filled an Oxycontin earlier because the patient told them the doctor said it was cheaper there. I laughed because from KY (or TN, I forgot which one) to south FL to NC and back to KY (or TN) would have been at least a 2100 mile road trip. The price couldn't possibly be that much cheaper. Sounds to me like somebody is trying to cover his "about to lose his license" arse.
She also told me about the state-wide controlled substance registry they have. I am totally jealous and want a nationalized one for Christmas this year, please Mr. Clause or Mr. Obama???... So I entertained her with my favorite recommendation I tell ER docs when they call with a drug seeker: a shot of Toradol in the arse, because it hurts like the dickens, it's non-narcotic, the seeker thinks injections are the "good stuff" and it does provide pain relief. All parties satisfied.
Night Three, ie Sunday
The Grand Finale to my weekend is this elderly lady that always has her son in his forties bring her out on errands. He was throwing a fit because she took his pain pill prescription and wouldn't give it to him. She was afraid he was addicted to it because he had been taking it since New Year's and it was from a "walk-in" clinic. He was screaming at her about how she just wants him to be in pain all the time and to control him. He was also screaming about how his knees hurt and she wants him to suffer because he hasn't had a pill in three days and he is in agony.
She called her daughter to come get her because she was afraid to get in the car with him because he might take her purse to find the prescrption. So he went and sat on the hood of the car. Now mind you, this guy easily weighs 400 pounds. He probably does have severe knee pain just from the force of gravity on his fat. At his age and weight it happens. So I fill her rx and the daughter shows up with her husband and they all go have a nice long chat.
They come back and have all reached a mutual resolution. We will fill the prescription and his mom will give him one pill tonight for his pain and she will hold onto the rest to prevent any "abuse" until she can take him to her orthopedist in the morning. The prescription was not from a "walk-in" clinic doc and it was only for 30 pills so I think she was just a little on the paranoid side but she said he had addiction problems in the past. I just thought he sounded like a spoiled 5 year old myself but in the spirit of pain management addiction does not necessarily mean you should withdraw treatment so their agreed upon resolution sounded like a winner to me.
Another weekend survived and another month to look forward to a fresh episode of "Full Moon Theater." It is not as entertaining as Nip/Tuck but what else is a girl to do? The policeman that looks like Dr. Troy doesn't work the night shift anymore....
Night One, ie Friday
Nothing out of the ordinary, just the usual 10 daily calls from hypochondriac/OCD guy, harrumph. A lack of Viagra/Levitra/Cialis still indicative of a crap economy. I did sell a lot of condoms and Plan B so some people were still having more fun than me.(**jealous**)
Night Two, ie Saturday
A regular calls who is mentally handicapped and has all the capabilities and facilities of a teenager. She takes several medications and has had a problem in the past with popping her benzos like "Sno-caps" then saying she lost them. Tonight was another such incident. She called and said she lost her bottle of pills and needs them or she will end up in the hospital because she feels like she needs more than than the doc gives her. I asked her if the doc had increased her dose and she said no so I looked in the profile and she last got a 30 day supply 12 days ago and there are no refills left so we will have to call the prescriber. She throws a fit and I calmly try to explain we cannot give or sell any tabs without an active prescription because it is a controlled substance. I also explained that with no refills she has 3 options: search her house again, call her prescriber's answering service or go to the emergency room.
She snarks back that she already looked everywhere in her house, doesn't want to bother her doc at 1am (rare to hear that one), and said "We all know how the emergency room works out." She then wants me to sell her just one tablet until she can call the doc Sunday morning. I explain again, no active rx for a controlled substance, no pills, do you need me to go over your options again? She then threatens to sue because "What do you do when people are in pain? That is not what a pharmacy does to people. That is not right and I will go over your head. I've sued "insert corpo-pharmacy name here" and won thousands before. I need to speak to the person above you."
I told her I am the pharmacist on duty and there is nobody above me until the pharmacy manager comes in the next morning. She told me I was rude and hung up on me. So I went about my weekly C-II inventory. The phone rings again and it is her telling me how unethical and rude I am, how can I live with myself being so cruel to people, and how she will go above my head if she has to and blah blah blah. I just let her vent and didn't say a single word. After she said all she wanted to say I was going to speak and she hung up. How rude and hypocritical of her. Oh well, she's retarded so I will take the abuse as if I really deserved it but I am not breaking the law for anybody.
As the evening became early morning I got a call from a pharmacist in North Carolina who was asking me about a doc. I told her that we aren't currently filling any of his prescriptions because he is under investigation for catering to cash for candy patients. She asked me to look in a guy's drug profile. Of course if was multiple Oxycontin and Roxicodone rx's from multiple physicians filled in multiple stores. The day staff had filled an Oxycontin earlier because the patient told them the doctor said it was cheaper there. I laughed because from KY (or TN, I forgot which one) to south FL to NC and back to KY (or TN) would have been at least a 2100 mile road trip. The price couldn't possibly be that much cheaper. Sounds to me like somebody is trying to cover his "about to lose his license" arse.
She also told me about the state-wide controlled substance registry they have. I am totally jealous and want a nationalized one for Christmas this year, please Mr. Clause or Mr. Obama???... So I entertained her with my favorite recommendation I tell ER docs when they call with a drug seeker: a shot of Toradol in the arse, because it hurts like the dickens, it's non-narcotic, the seeker thinks injections are the "good stuff" and it does provide pain relief. All parties satisfied.
Night Three, ie Sunday
The Grand Finale to my weekend is this elderly lady that always has her son in his forties bring her out on errands. He was throwing a fit because she took his pain pill prescription and wouldn't give it to him. She was afraid he was addicted to it because he had been taking it since New Year's and it was from a "walk-in" clinic. He was screaming at her about how she just wants him to be in pain all the time and to control him. He was also screaming about how his knees hurt and she wants him to suffer because he hasn't had a pill in three days and he is in agony.
She called her daughter to come get her because she was afraid to get in the car with him because he might take her purse to find the prescrption. So he went and sat on the hood of the car. Now mind you, this guy easily weighs 400 pounds. He probably does have severe knee pain just from the force of gravity on his fat. At his age and weight it happens. So I fill her rx and the daughter shows up with her husband and they all go have a nice long chat.
They come back and have all reached a mutual resolution. We will fill the prescription and his mom will give him one pill tonight for his pain and she will hold onto the rest to prevent any "abuse" until she can take him to her orthopedist in the morning. The prescription was not from a "walk-in" clinic doc and it was only for 30 pills so I think she was just a little on the paranoid side but she said he had addiction problems in the past. I just thought he sounded like a spoiled 5 year old myself but in the spirit of pain management addiction does not necessarily mean you should withdraw treatment so their agreed upon resolution sounded like a winner to me.
Another weekend survived and another month to look forward to a fresh episode of "Full Moon Theater." It is not as entertaining as Nip/Tuck but what else is a girl to do? The policeman that looks like Dr. Troy doesn't work the night shift anymore....
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