Please, for the LOVE of God, don't scream "hey" or "hey you" or "doc" or "woman" or "lady" or anything else that is not remotely near what you can (or can't) read on my name tag. None of the above have ever been my name nor will be in the future. When you say those things to me, a health care professional, all I can think of is "what the f^$# are you, a cave person? Raised by wolves?" Seriously, calling me by my non name bugs the hell out of me. It is on my top 100 things that bug me about the public, as in YOU. Not all of you, of course. Especially not that hot Edward Cullen dude. ANYWAYS, pointing is also off limits. I do not respond to pointing. I will chop your finger off if you insist on doing it in the future with my razor sharp spatula. If you politely ask me for help, I will leap over the counter and give you great service! If you are an ass, expect attitude. Sorry, that's the way I roll.
Love,
Filet
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
What's Up Doc?
I had a lady come to the drive-thru at 4am. She was waiting for a prescription to be approved. The note on the prescription said that a message had been left at the office on Friday morning and a message had been left on the doctor's cell phone on Saturday morning as requested by the patient. Mind you, she knew he was going out of town for Easter, which to a normal person means not in the office Thursday or Friday through Monday or Tuesday. She wanted me to call his cell and his home phone at 4am to get the rx approved. How rude (spoken with an over exaggerated British accent)!!!
Are you f'n kidding me??? As a health care professional I will NOT call an md's cell phone unless he has left a specific message to do so for an after hours rx he phoned in and I will NOT call an md's house because you think it is okay to harass and stalk the md until you get your 400lb scratching your legs with a back scratcher while sitting in the drive thru because you are too fat to reach your legs Medicaid wishes to come true. This Easter bunny was not hoppy about it.
You, madam, are one of the reasons why mandatory murder looks like a reasonable idea to thin the herd and ease our country's financial burden.
Note to ALL prescribing practitioners: Make sure all your non-office/hospital/clinic phone numbers are UNLISTED so the crazies won't call you at all hours because after I told her we would not call the office again until after 8am she dialed his cell number while she huffed and puffed with the effort it took to speed dial from a cell phone directory. Ugh...
Are you f'n kidding me??? As a health care professional I will NOT call an md's cell phone unless he has left a specific message to do so for an after hours rx he phoned in and I will NOT call an md's house because you think it is okay to harass and stalk the md until you get your 400lb scratching your legs with a back scratcher while sitting in the drive thru because you are too fat to reach your legs Medicaid wishes to come true. This Easter bunny was not hoppy about it.
You, madam, are one of the reasons why mandatory murder looks like a reasonable idea to thin the herd and ease our country's financial burden.
Note to ALL prescribing practitioners: Make sure all your non-office/hospital/clinic phone numbers are UNLISTED so the crazies won't call you at all hours because after I told her we would not call the office again until after 8am she dialed his cell number while she huffed and puffed with the effort it took to speed dial from a cell phone directory. Ugh...
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Plan B marry me
I heart Plan B. It should stand for Plan Bizzle b/c it is the bomb! I wish it was free. I can't stand it when someone bitches about the price. Are you kidding me?? Do you want 18 plus years of hell? Get the money, take it stat and you will thank me later!!
Bill Maher-eat your heart out! I am not one of those uber Christian pharmacists that you have a problem with not dispensing this to gals in need. If it were up to me, it would be free!
Bill Maher-eat your heart out! I am not one of those uber Christian pharmacists that you have a problem with not dispensing this to gals in need. If it were up to me, it would be free!
Fatties beware
Don't come up to the counter with a hand full of Twinkies and bitch about your cholesterol or diabetes medication(s) co-pays. Cry me a river!
How about walking your lard ass into the store sometime instead of pulling up in the drive-thru sucking down that 64 oz. soda like it is your job? You bitch about the wait time while you see all of running around with our heads cut off filling vicodin prescriptions out of our asses. We are expending CALORIES doing our job. Are you familiar with that word? Of course not.
Don't hand me your prescription with burger juice all over it. Gross. Would you like your me to hand you your prescription in a Burger King bag? Don't tempt me. Want your dr. to stick his/her fingers up your twat with chicken finger juice? Yeah-some of you would.
I don't know where the Xenadrin, Fatburners, Acai miracle burn fat meds are b/c they don't fucking work. If they worked, they wouldn't be on the shelf. Oprah will be the first to let you know which one works.
Put the hot dog down, take your dog for a walk, listen to your body when it tells you you are full, drink water, etc. NO PILL IS GOING TO DO THAT FOR YOU SO STOP ASKING ME. Yeah-I'm not skinny but I am not pathetic either.
Love,
Filet
How about walking your lard ass into the store sometime instead of pulling up in the drive-thru sucking down that 64 oz. soda like it is your job? You bitch about the wait time while you see all of running around with our heads cut off filling vicodin prescriptions out of our asses. We are expending CALORIES doing our job. Are you familiar with that word? Of course not.
Don't hand me your prescription with burger juice all over it. Gross. Would you like your me to hand you your prescription in a Burger King bag? Don't tempt me. Want your dr. to stick his/her fingers up your twat with chicken finger juice? Yeah-some of you would.
I don't know where the Xenadrin, Fatburners, Acai miracle burn fat meds are b/c they don't fucking work. If they worked, they wouldn't be on the shelf. Oprah will be the first to let you know which one works.
Put the hot dog down, take your dog for a walk, listen to your body when it tells you you are full, drink water, etc. NO PILL IS GOING TO DO THAT FOR YOU SO STOP ASKING ME. Yeah-I'm not skinny but I am not pathetic either.
Love,
Filet
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
And Now For Something Really Gross...
A guy and his friend come in to the pharmacy Sunday night to ask me a question. I have a patient waiting for us to run his new insurance card and the other guy puts his leg up on the counter and takes off a large Band-Aid to show me his "spider bite." If that is a spider bite I am a rocket scientist. Since astrophysics and the mechanics of gravity defying jet propulsion systems are not entirely beyond my grasp but not my area of training and expertise I am going with not a spider bite.
Despite the sarcasm I have seen many spider bites in my lifetime, even had a couple of my own. This was no spider bite. I could have put my thumb or a roll of pennies in this "spider bite" and almost hit the bone. Not to forget it is crusty and oozing puss on one side.
He said he was on amoxicillin but it wasn't getting any better. I told him to see a doctor immediately because that was not going to be cured with amoxicillin and it was potentially life-threatening if he did not get a better treatment soon.
He smiled and went on his merry way. The other patient and I were grossed out. How can you walk around with that huge hole in your flesh and not run to a doctor? I hate junkies! He had quite a collection of scabs and sores all over his legs. He was still wearing shorts. I guess that 10 minute high is worth more to him than his quality of life....blast off rocket man....
Despite the sarcasm I have seen many spider bites in my lifetime, even had a couple of my own. This was no spider bite. I could have put my thumb or a roll of pennies in this "spider bite" and almost hit the bone. Not to forget it is crusty and oozing puss on one side.
He said he was on amoxicillin but it wasn't getting any better. I told him to see a doctor immediately because that was not going to be cured with amoxicillin and it was potentially life-threatening if he did not get a better treatment soon.
He smiled and went on his merry way. The other patient and I were grossed out. How can you walk around with that huge hole in your flesh and not run to a doctor? I hate junkies! He had quite a collection of scabs and sores all over his legs. He was still wearing shorts. I guess that 10 minute high is worth more to him than his quality of life....blast off rocket man....
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Florida's Drug Problem In A Nutshell
Everyone should read this article from the Miami Herald. It does a great service by exposing the extent of substance abuse and the licensed shysters who make it readily available.
www.miamiherald.com/467/story/985068.html
www.miamiherald.com/467/story/985068.html
Friday, April 3, 2009
Medical Mad Math
botox injections + pregnancy = retarded baby
intoxicants + pregnancy = crack baby
fat free diet + pregnancy = seizure baby
2000 mile road trip + oxycodone rx = junkie
fast food + lipitor = still high cholesterol
coke'd out bar trick + sugar daddy + 2 viagra = good times
mountain dew + pharmacist = another day at McDruggie's
night out drinking + jalapeno poppers = stinky diarrhea
coke'd out bar trick - viagra = limp twitchy weenie
pharmacist / (phones + cars in drive thru + you in my face) = nervous breakdown
unprotected sex + HIV = booty flu
used syringes + ball filled kiddie play land = lawsuit
crabby undies washed + laundry bag not washed = crabby undies
8AM + McDonald's apple pie from a patient = happy overnighter on the way home!
intoxicants + pregnancy = crack baby
fat free diet + pregnancy = seizure baby
2000 mile road trip + oxycodone rx = junkie
fast food + lipitor = still high cholesterol
coke'd out bar trick + sugar daddy + 2 viagra = good times
mountain dew + pharmacist = another day at McDruggie's
night out drinking + jalapeno poppers = stinky diarrhea
coke'd out bar trick - viagra = limp twitchy weenie
pharmacist / (phones + cars in drive thru + you in my face) = nervous breakdown
unprotected sex + HIV = booty flu
used syringes + ball filled kiddie play land = lawsuit
crabby undies washed + laundry bag not washed = crabby undies
8AM + McDonald's apple pie from a patient = happy overnighter on the way home!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
