I am back bitches!! I felt really bad about Biggie floating the blog all this time so I thought I would finally write. Yeah right. She is just better at it than I am. :)
Recap for the day...
Sir patient douche bag yelled at me today b/c of the price of his Cialis medicine. He claimed it is much cheaper for him to buy his Cialis online. After a 10 minute staring contest, with me winning of course b/c I could care less where the hell he bought it from, he paid for the rx at my pharmacy and walked away whining like a 4 year old who heard the word "no" for the first time.
Mistress douchette yelled b/c she wanted a gift card for a rx she never transferred. Read the fine print bitch! Store manager caved. They both sucked the life out of me at that moment. Worse than the Twilight movie itself. Let me be clear here, Twilight tweens, Rob Pattison can suck me anytime. By the way Rob, my email is: IwantyourcuteyoungBritishbody@gmail.com
Dick douche, first cousin of first douche mentioned above, threw a fit b/c we "lost" his wife's prescription. Wouldn't you know it--it was at another pharmacy. I told Dick very loudly and stuck my chest out to boot NOT to raise his voice at me and he cowered! I guess I woman has never talked to him like that before. He was real nice when he came back today for his wife's med. Probably wants to buy me the Twilight poster, t-shirt and a date/dinner/somethin' else with Rob and Taylor.
ABC News "What would you do" featured a pharmacist lecturing a girl about buying Plan B. Yeah right. We don't really care who buys the shit b/c we don't want to pay for one more kid on the caid (Medicaid). In fact, I wish it was BOGO and in our water and in gum ball machines, sprinkled on pizza, complimentary with purchase of the Twilight DVD (email me Rob. you won't regret it), etc. You get my drift. BUT OH WAIT-I guess their are some tardo rph's out there who don't understand how it works and freak out on these poor kids who just want to take some responsibility (after the act) and get on with their life. JUST DANCE is what I want ABC and the EC rph's to know. You know who you are...
Baby douche's parents let baby D. crap all over herself while waiting for their rx to be filled and for someone to walk a pack of smokes back to their pharmacy. First class, all the way. Some days you are baby douche (shitty, crabby, hateful), some days you are the smokes (hateful, stinky and cancerous to the public).
Fuck 'em!
Love,
Filet
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Murder Suicide
It used to be that murder suicides were few and far between. Most cases were a crime of passion in which one person could not bear the thought of their love being with another. Others were a man killing a pregnant woman. Now it is a vastly different picture.
Finances are tight for many people. There are more cases of suicide and murder suicide than at any other point in American history besides The Great Depression. I have seen too many cases where a person committed murder, suicide or both because they had excessive credit card debt or were about to lose their house, or didn't want their family to know about their gambling debts, etc.
What the f*ck, people? Get your head out of your ass and realize that you can file for bankruptcy and move on with your life. Learn from your mistakes and move forward. So what if you can't drive the mega big BMW SUV, so what if you don't have 50 inch flat screens in every room of your overpriced McMansion, so what if you don't vacation at luxury spas five times per year, so what if you don't have a $5000 specialty breed dog for a pet, so what if your black American Express is declined, who cares? Seriously. People need to get over their "stuff" obsession. Killing is not the answer. The only thing it contributes to is population control...
Finances are tight for many people. There are more cases of suicide and murder suicide than at any other point in American history besides The Great Depression. I have seen too many cases where a person committed murder, suicide or both because they had excessive credit card debt or were about to lose their house, or didn't want their family to know about their gambling debts, etc.
What the f*ck, people? Get your head out of your ass and realize that you can file for bankruptcy and move on with your life. Learn from your mistakes and move forward. So what if you can't drive the mega big BMW SUV, so what if you don't have 50 inch flat screens in every room of your overpriced McMansion, so what if you don't vacation at luxury spas five times per year, so what if you don't have a $5000 specialty breed dog for a pet, so what if your black American Express is declined, who cares? Seriously. People need to get over their "stuff" obsession. Killing is not the answer. The only thing it contributes to is population control...
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A Paleontologist Could Solve It All
You don't think of a paleontologist as a scientist that could be on the cutting edge of human medicine but he may just get to where other scientists can't. I am talking about genetic manipulation.
Think of all the birth defects and diseases that occur when specific genes are expressed. If we could find a way to turn off those genes we would have the ultimate weapon in disease prevention! And cancer, one of the deadliest diseases, could be stopped without messy painful chemo and radiation treatments.
Jack Horner has a plan to turn off the genes that cause a chicken embryo to develop from its dinosaur predecessor into an actual chicken. We are talking no fused digits into wings and retaining its dino tail and teeth. A miniature dino that would be the greatest house pet ever...just watch out for your fingers...and it may try to eat your cat...but if it mated with a chicken you would just get a chicken...sweet!
I would also be interested to see what would happen if the genes that keep chickens relatively small were turned off. Could we have chickens the size of cows or would the sheer bulk crush their fragile hollow bones? What alterations would the Colonel have to do for a 10 piece wing and thigh bucket? Would it topple your car like the drive-thru brontosaurus rib incident on the Flintstones? So many fascinating possibilities!
I am going to follow this research because it gives me happy child-like B-movie thoughts of giant farm animals on a rampage. It would be far more exciting than Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Living Dead. (yes that is an actual movie and quite the hilarious busted mess that the title promises). Yay, science!
Think of all the birth defects and diseases that occur when specific genes are expressed. If we could find a way to turn off those genes we would have the ultimate weapon in disease prevention! And cancer, one of the deadliest diseases, could be stopped without messy painful chemo and radiation treatments.
Jack Horner has a plan to turn off the genes that cause a chicken embryo to develop from its dinosaur predecessor into an actual chicken. We are talking no fused digits into wings and retaining its dino tail and teeth. A miniature dino that would be the greatest house pet ever...just watch out for your fingers...and it may try to eat your cat...but if it mated with a chicken you would just get a chicken...sweet!
I would also be interested to see what would happen if the genes that keep chickens relatively small were turned off. Could we have chickens the size of cows or would the sheer bulk crush their fragile hollow bones? What alterations would the Colonel have to do for a 10 piece wing and thigh bucket? Would it topple your car like the drive-thru brontosaurus rib incident on the Flintstones? So many fascinating possibilities!
I am going to follow this research because it gives me happy child-like B-movie thoughts of giant farm animals on a rampage. It would be far more exciting than Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Living Dead. (yes that is an actual movie and quite the hilarious busted mess that the title promises). Yay, science!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Pain Management Fiasco
I finally saw why these fly-by-night pain management clinics are so popular. I saw an ad on Craig's list for a Florida MD or DO for immediate staffing with a salary of $500,000 per year with bonus and an opportunity for partnership and profit sharing. Such is the way of the greedy lazy MD. These particular clinics do no diagnostics just cash for candy. You could print out a fake medical history and they will prescribe ANYTHING. I HATE anyone involved in such activities and wish them an agonizing slow death. Unfortunately this was not the only such clinic advertising. It is disgusting. It p*sses me off more than words can express!
And speaking of Craig's list, some dumb*ss posted a solicitation for cocaine in "code", oh like the police or DEA don't know what your ad was looking for. One week after the ad was placed the dumb*ss was arrested. Some people are so f*cking stupid I want to drown them and leave the body for the gators to eat.
And speaking of Craig's list, some dumb*ss posted a solicitation for cocaine in "code", oh like the police or DEA don't know what your ad was looking for. One week after the ad was placed the dumb*ss was arrested. Some people are so f*cking stupid I want to drown them and leave the body for the gators to eat.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I Heart Smack-Tards!
Some people are striking to look at and some people you just want to strike after they open their mouths. Smack-tards. The only people on the planet that are so f*cking retarded you want to smack them r-e-a-l hard...
Smack-Tard #1
Female caller: "I need to know if clonidine is like Klonopin."
Brain: Ew ew ew...I wonder where this is going...
Female caller: "So I can't get high on it?"
Brain: For reals????
Female caller: "I guess I should put it back where I found it then. Bye."
Brain: Smack smack smack some damn sense into that beotch...she is probably on welfare with 10 kids cuz that is usually the ones that are paid by the governmemnt to stay home with their legs spread and their brains gelatinizing on some chemical they shouldn't have in the first place...ugh...I hate people... **Don't judge, you were thinking the same thing...
Smack Tard #2
He was buying a pregnancy test because his girlfriend started her period on the 10th of last month but hasn't started yet this month (it was the 8th when he came in). She is also having some breast pain so he thinks it means there is a bun in the oven.
I explained to him that most women will not start on the exact same day every time and breast tenderness is pretty common also a few days prior to it. Maybe if they weren't riding dirty (without a condom) they wouldn't have to worry about a baby. Oral contraceptives aren't 100% effective anyway and heaven forbid you get beat down by your man for giving him the herps or something...
Smack that one down and castrate him for humanity's sake...
Smack Tard #3
This douche was banned from the bullseye for threatening the pharmacist's life. That pharmacist even filed a formal complaint and has a restraining order on the guy so of course he wants us to fill all of his prescriptions. Seriously, can't we find a way to pass him off on Wal-Mart with their low low prices? I enjoy spreading the pharmacy love. I have had a gun in my face, I don't want to have some psycho come over the counter because his narcotics are over a week early and no one will fill them because this smack tard sounds high on the phone and his conversation makes little to no sense. I wonder what else he is on that he gets from "cracky" on the streets...
So my boss talked to the guy Friday night and told him that we won't fill a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g early if the bullseye says it is too soon. That is our store policy (cuz we despise "cracky" and all his cohorts and wish them a slow painful death). He calls back Saturday and talks to another regular and she tells him the same thing. The bullseye faxes over his prescriptions and we leave them aside for the boss to deal with. He hates it when we do that but he is a very large man who is far more intimidating in appearance than the other short ladies and I that work there so he gets to be the bully.
I had the displeasure of talking to the guy who argued with me that Monday was the 11th, his next date of fill, and not the 10th like I told him. Too juiced to comprehend the space time continuum represented by the change of date at 12am or just stupid enough to think he could argue his way into a bottle of narcs. Pitiful...
I wanna smack smack smack that one within an inch of his life and scream "How do you like me now, b*tch?" Instead I only get the super satisfying fantasy and a kick boxing class. Damn assault laws...they really spoil my fun sometimes...
Smack-Tard #1
Female caller: "I need to know if clonidine is like Klonopin."
Brain: Ew ew ew...I wonder where this is going...
Female caller: "So I can't get high on it?"
Brain: For reals????
Female caller: "I guess I should put it back where I found it then. Bye."
Brain: Smack smack smack some damn sense into that beotch...she is probably on welfare with 10 kids cuz that is usually the ones that are paid by the governmemnt to stay home with their legs spread and their brains gelatinizing on some chemical they shouldn't have in the first place...ugh...I hate people... **Don't judge, you were thinking the same thing...
Smack Tard #2
He was buying a pregnancy test because his girlfriend started her period on the 10th of last month but hasn't started yet this month (it was the 8th when he came in). She is also having some breast pain so he thinks it means there is a bun in the oven.
I explained to him that most women will not start on the exact same day every time and breast tenderness is pretty common also a few days prior to it. Maybe if they weren't riding dirty (without a condom) they wouldn't have to worry about a baby. Oral contraceptives aren't 100% effective anyway and heaven forbid you get beat down by your man for giving him the herps or something...
Smack that one down and castrate him for humanity's sake...
Smack Tard #3
This douche was banned from the bullseye for threatening the pharmacist's life. That pharmacist even filed a formal complaint and has a restraining order on the guy so of course he wants us to fill all of his prescriptions. Seriously, can't we find a way to pass him off on Wal-Mart with their low low prices? I enjoy spreading the pharmacy love. I have had a gun in my face, I don't want to have some psycho come over the counter because his narcotics are over a week early and no one will fill them because this smack tard sounds high on the phone and his conversation makes little to no sense. I wonder what else he is on that he gets from "cracky" on the streets...
So my boss talked to the guy Friday night and told him that we won't fill a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g early if the bullseye says it is too soon. That is our store policy (cuz we despise "cracky" and all his cohorts and wish them a slow painful death). He calls back Saturday and talks to another regular and she tells him the same thing. The bullseye faxes over his prescriptions and we leave them aside for the boss to deal with. He hates it when we do that but he is a very large man who is far more intimidating in appearance than the other short ladies and I that work there so he gets to be the bully.
I had the displeasure of talking to the guy who argued with me that Monday was the 11th, his next date of fill, and not the 10th like I told him. Too juiced to comprehend the space time continuum represented by the change of date at 12am or just stupid enough to think he could argue his way into a bottle of narcs. Pitiful...
I wanna smack smack smack that one within an inch of his life and scream "How do you like me now, b*tch?" Instead I only get the super satisfying fantasy and a kick boxing class. Damn assault laws...they really spoil my fun sometimes...
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Ahoy, Unecessary Product Ahead...
Avast me hearties for a new product set sail on the seas of "I need a pill to help me." This scurvy dog is the "big new thing" in migraine relief....have you guessed yet? It's Treximet!
This magical wonderful modern chemical from GSK (this next paragraph is directly from the official Treximet site:
TREXIMET…
…superior to the ingredient in IMITREX Tablets at relieving migraine pain. TREXIMET is the only migraine treatment to combine these 2 medicines — IMITREX (sumatriptan) and prescription-strength naproxen sodium (an NSAID) — in one tablet. So it works 2 ways: it targets the nerves and blood vessels believed to trigger a migraine and relieves inflammation that can cause migraine pain.
If it was that far superior why wasn't it manufactured in the first place? This is just another prior authorization nightmare in motion when it would be far cheaper to get generic Imitrex and generic Naprosyn on almost all insurances. I see post-patent money grubbing douche-baggery as with such fine unecessary products as Paxil CR, Ambien CR, Coreg CR, Nexium, Pataday, Xyzal, Zegerid, Sarafem, Betapace AF, Cialis 2.5mg and 5mg daily packs, Clarinex, etc (definitely not an all-inclusive list, just the most irritating that come to mind). Why does the FDA let this sh*t happen? This combo was as necesary to modern medicine as the smoke monster was to the plot of "Lost." Thanks J.J. and thanks GSK!
This magical wonderful modern chemical from GSK (this next paragraph is directly from the official Treximet site:
TREXIMET…
…superior to the ingredient in IMITREX Tablets at relieving migraine pain. TREXIMET is the only migraine treatment to combine these 2 medicines — IMITREX (sumatriptan) and prescription-strength naproxen sodium (an NSAID) — in one tablet. So it works 2 ways: it targets the nerves and blood vessels believed to trigger a migraine and relieves inflammation that can cause migraine pain.
If it was that far superior why wasn't it manufactured in the first place? This is just another prior authorization nightmare in motion when it would be far cheaper to get generic Imitrex and generic Naprosyn on almost all insurances. I see post-patent money grubbing douche-baggery as with such fine unecessary products as Paxil CR, Ambien CR, Coreg CR, Nexium, Pataday, Xyzal, Zegerid, Sarafem, Betapace AF, Cialis 2.5mg and 5mg daily packs, Clarinex, etc (definitely not an all-inclusive list, just the most irritating that come to mind). Why does the FDA let this sh*t happen? This combo was as necesary to modern medicine as the smoke monster was to the plot of "Lost." Thanks J.J. and thanks GSK!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Random Thoughts
How many more strengths of Vyvanse do we need?
Do we really want to know what "Muskrat Love" looks like? Haven't I asked that one before?
How can we have an overpopulation problem with the veritable multitude of oral contraceptives and other options available?
How high will medication copays get before everyone breaks out the torches and pitchforks to storm the insurance companies' buildings?
How many Starburst fruit chews can I eat before my Islets of Langerhans beg for mercy? Hmm, maybe I should hit them with something equivalent to a sugary nuclear apocalypse....a mocha latte and a fudge covered donut with sprinkles...that'll learn 'em...
What is my obsession with that Langerhans guy and his islets? Jeepers...
Is it taunting to sing "If I Only Had a Brain" to my robotic dispensing system?
Do I really need to get a PharmD?
How many mass produced items we sell for $4 or less come from other nations and are made of toxic materials?
Will the eco warrior princess send another nasty email about recycling this week?
If the makers of Grey Goose, Jack Daniels, and Parrot Bay rum put their beverages in mini kegs that would fit the Heineken mini keg tap/refrigerator would anyone ever need pills to make them happy?
Since the state of California is going broke and sending out IOU's for tax refunds and can't pay the Medicaid bills how long before other states face a similar predicament?
How would the character Kenneth the page from 30 Rock be if he was Kenneth the pharmacist?
Why do I laugh every time I hear a Michael Macdonald song and think of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Paul Rudd's character goes apesh*t over the repeated playing of Michael's concert DVD?
Why did the Xanax/Ambien abuser say that he has a broken leg when he was walking perfectly fine the morning the pharmacy manager made him leave for starting crap again?
Why do pharmacists get stuck dealing with this crap all the damn time?
How many more years before I get more vacation time?
Better yet...How many more years until I can retire???
Is it still illegal to fake my death and use an alternate identity to claim the insurance policy then disappear to some far away remote island to spend my twilight years selling seashell sculptures to tourists?
Do we really want to know what "Muskrat Love" looks like? Haven't I asked that one before?
How can we have an overpopulation problem with the veritable multitude of oral contraceptives and other options available?
How high will medication copays get before everyone breaks out the torches and pitchforks to storm the insurance companies' buildings?
How many Starburst fruit chews can I eat before my Islets of Langerhans beg for mercy? Hmm, maybe I should hit them with something equivalent to a sugary nuclear apocalypse....a mocha latte and a fudge covered donut with sprinkles...that'll learn 'em...
What is my obsession with that Langerhans guy and his islets? Jeepers...
Is it taunting to sing "If I Only Had a Brain" to my robotic dispensing system?
Do I really need to get a PharmD?
How many mass produced items we sell for $4 or less come from other nations and are made of toxic materials?
Will the eco warrior princess send another nasty email about recycling this week?
If the makers of Grey Goose, Jack Daniels, and Parrot Bay rum put their beverages in mini kegs that would fit the Heineken mini keg tap/refrigerator would anyone ever need pills to make them happy?
Since the state of California is going broke and sending out IOU's for tax refunds and can't pay the Medicaid bills how long before other states face a similar predicament?
How would the character Kenneth the page from 30 Rock be if he was Kenneth the pharmacist?
Why do I laugh every time I hear a Michael Macdonald song and think of the scene in 40 Year Old Virgin where Paul Rudd's character goes apesh*t over the repeated playing of Michael's concert DVD?
Why did the Xanax/Ambien abuser say that he has a broken leg when he was walking perfectly fine the morning the pharmacy manager made him leave for starting crap again?
Why do pharmacists get stuck dealing with this crap all the damn time?
How many more years before I get more vacation time?
Better yet...How many more years until I can retire???
Is it still illegal to fake my death and use an alternate identity to claim the insurance policy then disappear to some far away remote island to spend my twilight years selling seashell sculptures to tourists?
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