We bring the FAST and laughs to pharmacy.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Back In The Saddle

Believe it or not I didn't think I would ever run out of things to do but it happened. I was happy to be back in the saddle, not to mention I was pretty much scraping the bottom of the barrel for spending cash and was not ready to rob trains or give hand jobs for chump change.

I drove my trusty Mustang on a little recon around the store. Another pharmacist friend and I laughed because it was a middle/upper middle class mainly white neighborhood. That usually means lots of Sudafed sales for the meth heads and Roxy/oxy prescriptions and early refill rejections on opies and benzos (opiate pain pills like Percocet or Vicodin and benzodiazepines like Valium and Xanax). Oh and don't forget early refills on muscle relaxers.

Yeppers, Tasty is a little bit racist and am sure that anyone that works retail is a little too because you can 99% of the time guess exactly what you will be dispensing and what type of junkies are gonna circle like buzzards in the hopes that you might fill one early based on the ethnicity of the surrounding area.

My third customer in was Sudafed, and several customers after that. I also had a lady with ER rxs for Vicodin, Flexeril, and Valium that all came up refill too soon/duplicate therapy for the Percocet, Soma, and Xanax rxs she filled a week and a half previously for 30 days supply each. Guess who left without any pills...

Guess who wheeled up at 12:01am? Oxycontin & Roxicodone lady who was actually on the time when she would have run out of her last 30 day supply. Usually these are early and the MD has written a "Do Not Fill Until XX date" on the rx. The funny thing was she was morbidly obese and had 2 small bags of M & Ms, a bag of chocolate covered pretzels, and one of those humongous candy bars that could feed a 6 person pharmacy staff. Her EBT (food stamp) card did not work so she was like "I guess that means I don't get my midnight snack tonight."

I am thinking "Self, If I had an injury that put me in a wheel chair and I was heavy so that it put more stress on my injury and caused more pain I don't think that would be my midnight snack of choice. Maybe a 100 calorie pack of microwave popcorn because it is filling and doesn't have the caloric needs of a 2 ton seal in one sitting which adds weight and thusly increases the level of pain from my injury." But why bring logic into this.

The highlight of my evening was the two magic words that make me want to cut a b*tch: paper jam. Those in the retail pharmacy know "paper jam" also means "IMPENDING DOOM!" I stood with needle nose pliers in hand as I faced down the printer. "Paper Jam Check Rear Door" was the message. I checked that rear door and made sure even the tiniest sliver of paper was removed. Reset the printer and heard the "beep beep beep" of the paper jam. Same message.

I filled with rage. Oh rage, how I have missed your pulse pounding blood pressure raising fire! I had forgotten how wonderful rage was in my time off. I tried every trick in the book to get that f*cking printer working to no avail. I gave up and used the last working printer. Send out the SOS and go with your god on that one. At least the malfunction was on a Sunday. Hopefully it would be fixed before Monday morning.

Yee Haw, I'm back!


Anonymous said...

Valium and Xanax are not barbiturates. You should know that!

DenaliDriveThruPharmD said...

Benzos not barbies! Silly goose!

Anonymous said...

News flash: benzos are not barbiturates

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you work at a Kroger since we can never have printers that actually work.

Big 'N Tasty RPH said...

Sometimes when you drink you mix words up which is why I never ever give medical advice while intoxicated. I knew when I typed that it was wrong but I was drunk and multi-tasking. Next time I will edit while sober before posting.

laurie said...

boy, the other pharms are quick to jump on you! at least you all seem to know your stuff -- it's reassuring.

enjoyed your post, even though i'm not a pharmacist!