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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Achtung, Baby!

I was swapping out a toner cartridge on the ol' print-o-matic-paper-eating-ink-smearing-data-page-maker (ie elderly Lexmark printer) when I was stopped in my tracks by the warning image. What is supposed to be a depiction of a person choking with a plastic bag over their head and a baby crawling with a plastic bag over its head looked a bit pornographic.

The first person looks like it has a really bad square haircut but is either trying to give itself the Heimlich maneuver, sing soprano, or suck the sh*t out of a wiener. The second picture looks like asphyxiation cos play...a person dressed in a onesie with what appears to be a strand of anal beads or a tail and a bag over their head. Maybe they raided Perry Farrell's wardrobe for that one or maybe they watched too much sh*t on YouPorn.com before they drew these warnings.

I do not consider myself a connoisseur of the pornographic but when I think about my college years when McRPH set a girl's computer to show video of a girl sucking off a horse every time she turned it on (get it...turned it on...) and told her it must have been a virus she picked up on the interweb I laugh. McRPH and I also liked to send free trial issues of homosexual bondage porn to douchey guys at school. We may have been the demise of the aforementioned mag because I am sure only one or two of them bought a subscription. He also sent a high school friend a blow up doll for his birthday. That guy didn't talk to us after that...what a stick in the mud. I know guys that would love a Blow-up Doll of the Month Club. Maybe that is my ticket out of pharmacy. The gift that keeps on giving and taking.

Oh my God, that is it! The first pic is a blow up doll! Silly warning illustrators, we are on the same page! Achtung indeed!

1 comment:

Grumpy, M.D. said...

These are some wierd warnings. T first one really does look like someone trying to sing, or suck weenie, or a blow up doll.

Or maybe just a singing, sucking, blow-up doll?